Forgive me. I’m about to say something that some of you are not going to like at all.

Sorry everyone, but this is probably worse than trainee teachers casting aspertions about the reality of Father Christmas. (The silly fool involved should have told them about Saint Nicholas and had done with it).

My problem is not to do with the objective reality of Santa. It is to do with the origins of the Christingle. Who on earth thought up this sticky, messy nonsense? We are told by well meaning people that it is a tradition that comes from Moravia. Lots of good things come from the Moravian Church, but I struggle to believe that the custom of sticking candles in oranges and decorating them with dolly mixtures and then telling children that it is all about Christmas has anything to do with Moravia. (The Orange and Dolly Mixtures Marketing Board, perhaps, but not the Moravians).

How many oranges are waiting to be plucked from orange groves in Moravia in December I ask you?

Bah!