A new and interesting development locally is a monthly inter-faith coffee morning. A few of us from different faith traditions go and have coffee together in a local cafe. No agenda. Very relaxed. It is a meeting which includes RC, Presbyterian and Episcopal Christians, the local Immam and someone from a Tibetan Buddhist centre. We are in touch with someone from the local synagogue too, but so far I’ve not met him.
This week was a particularly good meeting. Someone had invited two liaison officers from the local police force – two individuals who work on diversity issues including race, gender, religion etc. One of the most interesting things to come out of the conversation on Tuesday was that of five of us sitting around a table, three of us had had trouble in the streets which had to do with wearing particular clothing associated with religion. In my case, the number of times I’ve had aggressive comments about my collar has meant that I now remove it before walking home.
It does not feel comfortable to have to modify one’s dress in the street in order to avoid trouble, and the police were very keen to point out to all of us that hassling someone because of the way they are dressed is a crime and should be reported every time. It was the fact that this is something that we had in common across faith boundaries which struck me most.
I’m aware of some people who think that the right thing to do is to carry on wearing clerical dress proudly at all times and to take one’s place in the streetscape. In theory I agree with this. In practise, I slip off my collar before I get past one of the local pubs, where there have been drinkers out on the street late at night since the smoking ban came in.
What would you do and what would you have a priest do?
David, the Cope of Glory to which people refer is the gold and blue cope that goes with my job. I tend to wear it more on an evening than in the morning. I tend to wear it for weddings, wedding shows and when I’m out and about preaching elsewhere.
There is a pic here which either shows me doing my first lesbian wedding, or walking on a catwalk with some gorgeous models. You must choose for yourself which explanation seems most plausible.
Kelvin – It is most disappointing that you have ”had aggressive comments about my collar” on your walk home. It is a sad reflection of society that you recieved this reaction.
I’m not sure that the churches have been entirely blameless institutions in society Stewart.
There is no doubt that society has changed and that deference is dead. Although there may be times when I regret the lived reality of that, I would not turn the clock back.
Respect now tends to be awarded more by merit and an ability to communicate a message than by social position. I think that this probably applies to other professions too.
Is it perhaps the whole uniform which is associated with certain behaviours? Maybe it’s the “black crow”look – so what about keeping the collar but lightening the rest of the gear a bit? I’d say if you’re a priest you stay visible – if it’s only bad-mouthing then it can be ignored. Most women will have had to put up with this sort of thing in the same situations – plenty of men see women as an acceptable target for all sorts of nastiness. Again , if it’s only verbal abuse …
Since lesbian weddings are neither legal nor permitted in church you must be with some catwalk models, despite the implausability!
I agree that bad mouthing against anyone is horrible Chris and I’m aware that women are often on the receiving end of it.
It isn’t quite the same as what I get. There are some differences though – such bad behaviour against women does not tend to be because they are presumed to be perpetrators of particular crimes.
Victimising and threatening anyone in the street is unacceptable.
With regards to lightening the look, I have been known to wear a black suit with a slight grey stripe. This seemed to be a terrible slipping of standards at the time and is as far as I’m ever likely to go.
There is only one colour, as I think we have established on other posts in the past.
“lesbian weddings are neither legal nor permitted in church” does not really convey the whole truth. It is certainly true that no legal ceremony can be held for same-sex couples in church, but that hardly exhausts the options.
Ceremonies to bless gay couples and lesbian couples are most certainly allowed in certain circumstances in Episcopal churches in Scotland. What such ceremonies should most appropriately be called is a discussion that probably deserves a post on its own.
I doubt it is worth getting beaten up over, but …
There is, I think, very little point in wearing a clerical collar in circumstances where everybody already knows your rank and station in the clergy anyhow – which would seem to limit its usefulness to situations like hospital chaplaincy.
I was going to avoid this thread since I simultaneously:
think we should ware clergy shirts and hate wearing them.
think clergy shirts should be black and hate endless black.
but I have to take up Rosemary’s point.
There are times when I will meet members of the congregation ‘out of uniform’. Usually if meeting them in a public place, but wanting privacy; or occasionally if working from home with a group of people I see a lot of, like the lay team.
But when I (more often) wear clergy collar when meeting the congregation, it is not (often!) to assert rank and station, but to remind them and me that we are called to be more than we are. It is a reminder that when the church gathers, this is not just a group of friends meeting up, but a group of Christians trying to grow in Christ.
So I wear the wretched collar most of the time. And cast it off recklessly if the temperature goes so high that I can’t bear it. How anyone survives ordained ministry in less temperate climates, I do not know.
Um, with the greatest respect, and due sympathy for the aspiration, I really am not totally convinced that sight of a clergy collar makes me think that we are all called to be priests and kings to God.
It is jolly useful if you are lying on a hospital bed wondering who to unburden your mind to, or if you are at a wedding where you only know half the guests and are trying to place the nice person with the freindly smile and the smart suit, or some such.
IOW, I think it works fine where you need an identifying badge, or you need a badge of rank, some to that (‘Now listen up, and listen good, because I, me, have trained for dummany years, and have the authority of the church…’) and all of these things are truly necessary at times.
It even works if you feel you WANT to attract public attention outside the pub or in the market. If that is your vocation, and it most definitely IS the vocation of some, then the collar is a good and useful thing.
But, but, but, we are ALL called to be transformed, as all here know, not just some of us. And there is a huge danger in allowing anybody to think it is, perhaps, more the job of some than others.