What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • Society Against Sundays in the Month

    Why is there no church society for those of us who believe that Sundays-in-the-Month are one of the works of darkness that beset the church and tempt it into doom and decline?

    You know the kind of thing I mean – Matins on the first Sunday in the month and Eucharist on the rest. Or modern liturgy every Sunday except when there is a fifth Sunday in the month when it shall be the language of the Scottish Prayer Book 1928 1929. Or 10.30 am Sung Eucharist every week except the 2nd Sunday in the month when it is matins with the Methodists. Or First and Fourth Sundays in Auchendoggle, third Sunday in Auchendrizzle and a united service on the fourth Sunday in the month – see the church porch notice for details.

    I’d be interested in any research in this area. Is it the case that there is a statistical correlation between decline and those practising the doctrine of Sundays in the Month?

    Isn’t every notice which includes an intimation about the Sunday in the Month speaking to the world of a congregation either divided by compromise or prepared to announce its decline to the world?

    Why do we never talk about this?

9 responses to “Jane Russell RIP”

  1. fr dougal Avatar
    fr dougal

    She had politics?

    Reply
  2. Kelvin Holdsworth Avatar
    Kelvin Holdsworth

    I believe she described herself as “a teetotal, mean-spirited, right-wing, narrow-minded, conservative Christian bigot.”

    Any more questions, John?

    (Apart from where one might find flesh coloured swimming trunks?)

    Reply
  3. fr dougal Avatar
    fr dougal

    Well, at least she was honest – and by now she knows she was wrong!

    Reply
  4. Rosemary Hannah Avatar
    Rosemary Hannah

    Not just the flesh colour but the little dark band on them which is – quite distracting.

    Reply
  5. kelvin Avatar
    kelvin

    I wondered whether the little dark band was sewn on in order to show, for the avoidance of doubt, that they were in fact wearing something.

    Reply
  6. Rosemary Hannah Avatar
    Rosemary Hannah

    I think we have to admit the little band does rather more than draw attention to their being to some degree dressed.

    Reply
  7. kelvin Avatar
    kelvin

    I think its a curious visual paradox. It makes them appear dressed on the one hand and quite undressed on the other.

    Reply
  8. RevRuth Avatar
    RevRuth

    Oh I see!This wasn’t really about Jane Rusell at all…

    Reply
  9. Kelvin Avatar
    Kelvin

    Pay attention, Mother. Pay attention.

    Reply

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