• “God swipes right” – a sermon for Lent 4, 2026

    In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

    From time to time, every couple of years or so, someone decides that it is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good cathedral, must be in want of a man.

    Now, I am not in principle opposed to this idea. Though the practicalities of making such a thing happen have always eluded me.

    “Ah” they say with some enthusiasm, “what apps are you on?” And they proceed to list a bewildering number of apps that I could download onto my phone in order to seal the deal.

    I am not on any apps, I explain. I’ve never been convinced that they would work for me.

    “Oh no!” they cry, “you need to be on an app. That’s how it works for everyone these days, even people like you.”

    Reader, I have never been brave enough to enquire what, “people like you” actually means.

    But we go through the whole pantomime again. They show me some app on their phone and get me to download one to mine. “Put a smile on your face” they say as they take my picture. A few dozen intrusive questions later and lo and behold, it is serving me up other people’s profiles.

    And I look. And I am encouraged to swipe. Right for any possibles. Left for any impossibles.

    And it tends to be left, left, left, left. And then I get fed up and very quickly delete the app and proclaim this will never work for me.

    I heard an interesting statistic recently – it was that someone had measured one of the apps and the

    average time that people took to reject someone was 3.2 seconds. On the other hand, if they were interested in someone they tended to linger for about two and a half minutes thinking about it before swiping right.

    Let us turn our thoughts to our first reading this morning. Where we find the Lord our God in an interesting mood.

    Saul the king has died. In the end, the project of making him the King of Israel hadn’t ended well. Samuel the prophet grieves the way it all ended, no doubt carrying the despair of the people with him.

    Come on says the Lord. Put a smile on your face and let’s be going. You need to find a new man. A new man to anoint as King. And off they go to the home of Jesse the Bethlehemite to assess the possibilities.

    And I’ve always thought that this passage is one of those in the bible that has inherent comedy written right into it. The whole process is genuinely funny.

    Along comes the first candidate. He’s a maybe thinks Samuel but the Lord has better ideas. No, swipe left on that one he says. He’s not the one.

    We’re looking for someone who is lovely on the inside remember, not just someone who looks good.

    And along comes another son. No, says the Lord. I don’t fancy this one’s chances. And tells to swipe left and dismiss him.

    And so it goes on. One after another, a parade of possibilities. But none cut the mustard.

    But there’s just one left. The youngest. Who just happens to be ruddy and handsome and has beautiful eyes.

    Hey ho, says the Lord and lingers, I’m sure of it for 2.5 minutes before telling Samuel that this one, this must be the one. And the choice is made.

    What are the qualities that we look for in someone, either as a partner or as a leader.

    It seems to me that that question of what we are looking for in our leaders is central to a series of overlapping crises that beset our modern life.

    For what it is worth, I think we are capable of getting into incredible muddles when trying to choose religious leaders. But the kind of person and the kind of leadership we want in our common political life is simply something we no longer agree on.

    I want someone with integrity, who tells the truth and who looks out for those who need to be looked out for. I want leaders who hear the call of peace more clearly than the siren voices who cry out for war and vengeance. I want those who govern and guide to be wise, knowledgeable and in it for the common good and not individual gain.

    In both politics and religion I have met many such people. But I have come to the reluctant conclusion that those values are less shared universally than they have ever been in my lifetime.

    And this is partly what has led us into a world where oligarchs and autocrats (religious and secular) hold sway. And war seems an inevitable consequence of broken systems and human greed.

    As it happens, I am not a pacifist. I think that some things are worth fighting for. However, it is probably worth saying publicly that the most prominent war we hear of in these days seems to have neither legal basis nor any moral justification. It is war for war’s sake. A tool of chaos where no-one knows the long term consequences.

    Those of us who life in democracies who wish for something different have much to think about and much of it will bring us no comfort.

    Peace, it seems, must be built.

    Decency must be argued for and cannot be assumed.

    And I want leaders who talk about the wellbeing of all rather than the enrichment of the few.

    I come to those views from a religious perspective. But I think I have common cause with many others.

    My faith gives me hope in a time where hope seems scarce.

    My faith gives me hope because my conviction is very deep that God cares not only for the few, nor even for the many but for all.

    Notwithstanding the comic story that we read of God (through a strangely confident Samuel) rejecting one person after another until he got to the most handsome one… notwithstanding the exitance of that story. I believe without any doubt at all that everyone is included in the love of God, everyone deserves the

    peace of God and everyone should expect nothing less than all the blessings of God.

    For God swipes right on everyone. God choses each of us.

    Whatever our profile looks like.

    In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

20 responses to “What causes it?”

  1. Craig Nelson Avatar
    Craig Nelson

    The key thing to remember is that while genetics and other biological determining factors or indeed markers do exist, their translation into sexual orientation is not simplistic. Identity is always a matter of interaction and negociation.

    Equally to align rights with forms of determinism is clearly wrong. What causes a person to be a Christian or an atheist or a trade unionist? Not likely genetics (though in some way they may play a role) but nobody is saying that discrimination or human rights abuses against (for example) Christians is OK because a person’s Christianity is a freely chosen set of beliefs and behaviours.

    That is all true and very important. However, whether genetic or otherwise, however identity comes about it is core to as person’s life so that harming people on account of their idenity becomes a deep harm to that person and group (one can cite Jews being forced into baptism or people forced to abjure their political views).

    Having said that, the fact of the hard wiring of sexual orientation in many (both gay and straight) is a deep fact of human nature and I think is a factor which should influence our thinking. Heterosexuals for the most part are heterosexual by their nature – their heterosexuality is relatively straightforwardly innate, others likewise have been ‘gay as long as they can remember’ while others (probably a small minority) experience a greater degree of uncetainty, choice, flexibility – possibly with some degree of overlap with the concept of bisexuality (although bisexuality is often conceived as a stable sexual identity).

    A final thought is that we usually conceptualise sexual orientation as completely distinct from gender identity whereas they do often intersect, in addition to thinking about gender as going beyond the extreme binarism we are used to deploying as the basis of our thinking about both gender and sexual orientation.

    1. Father Ron Smith Avatar

      Thanks, Craig, for your explanation of differentiation between sexual orientation and gender identity, which, as you say, often intersects but are not necessarily identical in one person. On reflection, how very complicated is our whole personality make-up. No wonder the empiricists get confused. The important point is not to attach blame to preference.

      1. Craig Nelson Avatar
        Craig Nelson

        Yes, I agree. I think it’s quite complicated, or at least it can be when all possibilities are considered. Nevertheless I think there are a number of regularities also, so long as we don’t become trapped within them. This is perhaps where people can be very quickly ‘all at sea’, for example, when thinking about trans issues for the first time.

        In spite of the regularities it seems the human family display a glorious and riotous diversity.

  2. Father Ron Smith Avatar

    “I am interested in what causes anti-gay sentiments and actions however. That seems to me much more fruitful of our study.” – Kelvin –

    I agree, Kelvin, that this is a very important part of the conversation, and my feeling is that, for straight men, it might just be something about the perceived challenge to their own masculinity.

    However, for innately gay or lesbian persons. the very fact that they cannot engage in a sexual relationship – or even imagine such an activity – there remains the problem of ‘how to justify’, in their own mind, the reason for their ‘difference’ from most other people. This is one of the reasons why some GLBT persons – especially young ones – become suicidal.

  3. Father Ron Smith Avatar

    Oh dear!. I missed out a very important part of my argument – above – by omitting the qualifying preface ‘hetero-‘ to the words ‘sexual relationship’ in the second line of my last paragraph. This should read: ‘..they cannot engage in a hetero-sexual relationship’.

    mea culpa!

  4. Rosemary Hannah Avatar
    Rosemary Hannah

    Fear:
    Fear that if I/my child is gay they will have to choose between being a hairdresser and Quinten Crisp – both perfectly good things to be, but not a wide choice. This is now being effectively addressed by Eddi Mair, Neil MacGregor and others – but some are slow to catch up.
    Fear of the playfulness of queer culture – this does not just affect LGBT people but also any adult who likes to play at all, which is, I think, why so many of us love to be in queer company. Why people fear playfulness I have no idea, and I am obviously the wrong person to ask.
    Misunderstanding:
    There are still people who think gay men prefer children to men. Still, as I know from a VERY tedious afternoon, women who (while they never seem to have had a happy relationship with a man) think that their lesbian daughter is going to miss out on something precious by never going to bed with a man.
    A misunderstanding that the Bible is a tract which highly values monogamous marriage (despite OT polygamy, and NT scepticism that marriage is a good thing at all) and a mistaken belief that God wants everybody straight, instead of the perhaps 80% who are happily wholly heterosexual.
    And the common belief that if ‘I’ like something (chocolate ice-cream, Mills & Boon, cats) then there is something wrong with those who prefer something else (coffee parfait, Jorge Borges, dogs). The misunderstanding that ‘if everybody was to be a doctor, what would we do for patients’ which does not take on board the utter unwillingness and incapacity of the majority of the population to become doctors.

  5. Jaye Richards-Hill Avatar

    Strangely enough, part of my honours thesis touched on this many years ago. I came to the conclusion that although I felt that the evidence for genetic determination of sexuality was virtually conclusive, there might exist somewhat of a transactional relationship between nature and nurture which allowed the possibility of an element of choice. Serious brain damaging incidents such as CVS can cause changes to the parts of the brain which are supposed to differ in gay and lesbian folks (as opposed to straight people). Maybe this might go some way to explaining the experience of the chap in the tv programme?

    Fascinating, either way…

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