Just managed to avoid cremating the 11 am congregation this morning. Arrived in church to find a bunch of people all telling one another that they could smell gas. Moved the service to the church hall and called the emergency gas helpline. Was advised to turn off the gas and fling wide the doors to the church. ("Oh, I do that, I do that" I said in a knowing manner that was lost on the phone operative)
Said mass (for St Andrew, of course) and hurried back to the door of the church where by now a burly man was waiting to tell me that there was indeed a gas leak – he could smell it. "Ah yes," said I, "that was the clue that we noticed too". He reassured me that it was quite serious, and that I had been quite right to regard it as an emergency and proceeded to sort it out.
O ye burly emergency gas engineers, bless ye the Lord,
praise him and magnify him for ever.
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