Lotions and Potions

Avon Skin So Soft – applied earlier in the week to prevent midge bites. It attracts them.

Apaisyl – French antihistamine, probably 3 years old. Result – ineffective.

Hc45 Cream – Cooling and soothing. Partial success.

TCut – needed to polish out the scratch on the car caused by nudging the back gate at the Cathedral.

Cetirizine Hydrochloride – supposedly non-drowsy antihistamine tablets. Don’t make me drowsy. Don’t do anything else to me.

Cat Hairball Linctus – Apply to paws (hers or mine), she gets to lick it off. Partial success.

Jo Mallone Cologne – applied to soothe midge bites earlier in the week. No effect on midge bites but got more attention than usual in local shop, therefore partial success.

Holy Water from the Shrine at Knock – apply to cat, car or self. Works every time.


  1. Anonymous says

    Relief from insect bites

    Try witch hazel

  2. David Campbell says

    Holy Water
    I always go for the holy water from the Shrine of our Lady at Carfin, Kelvin – works a treat and supports the local economy.

  3. Anonymous says

    Carfin vs Knock

    I am unsure whether Fr David is suggesting that the Carfin brand has greater efficacy or that Motherwell has a greater need of inward investment. Do they charge for the Carfin water? They certainly don’t in Knock.

    More details needed. 

  4. Sarah says

    More a potion than a lotion
    I suggest more alcohol to be taken internally (several times a day). It won’t cure anything but you really won’t care!

  5. Anonymous says

    Midge Deterents
    The obvious solution to deter the midges is to have your own personal thurible. No need to apply lotions and potions.

  6. We found out about Skin So Soft a few years back, quite by accident!

  7. Roddy Neilson says


    Might I suggest the following:

    To prevent midge bites- any insectiside that contains at least 20% DEET. You don’t want a lotion that makes the midge think that you smell unpleasant, you want one that makes it think its brains are melting. Alternatively, start smoking a pipe.

    To sort midge bites – Methylated spirit will take the sting out and is cheaper than eau de cologne. To take the swelling out try 1% hydrocortisone cream which is available without prescription.

    Sedation – If you can’t sleep due to the itching drink at least half a bottle of Chateau Batailley 1995. It works for me every time.

  8. Chris says

    Skin so soft
    Skin so soft is famous for deterring ticks rather than midges. You need a Midge Eater – for sale in Dunoon. For obvious reasons …..

  9. Hi Kelvin

    Skin So Soft is THE answer for midges; don’t rub it into the skin, just spray it on. It works better than any other remedy. We also have a Midge Eater machine which we’ve run now for 3 seasons. I remain to be convinced of its efficacy and it costs ?20 a month during the midge season. At their worst nothing works.

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