Why is there no church society for those of us who believe that Sundays-in-the-Month are one of the works of darkness that beset the church and tempt it into doom and decline?

You know the kind of thing I mean – Matins on the first Sunday in the month and Eucharist on the rest. Or modern liturgy every Sunday except when there is a fifth Sunday in the month when it shall be the language of the Scottish Prayer Book 1928 1929. Or 10.30 am Sung Eucharist every week except the 2nd Sunday in the month when it is matins with the Methodists. Or First and Fourth Sundays in Auchendoggle, third Sunday in Auchendrizzle and a united service on the fourth Sunday in the month – see the church porch notice for details.

I’d be interested in any research in this area. Is it the case that there is a statistical correlation between decline and those practising the doctrine of Sundays in the Month?

Isn’t every notice which includes an intimation about the Sunday in the Month speaking to the world of a congregation either divided by compromise or prepared to announce its decline to the world?

Why do we never talk about this?