What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • Missional – Your Time Has Come

    Hear Ye! Hear Ye!

    I hereby announce an international competition to rid the ears of the godly of a peculiar modern ugliness. Everywhere I go (and I’ve recently been engaged on a quest to go just about everywhere) I’m hearing the word MISSIONAL used in church circles. It seems to me that this is a modern phenomenon and one from which we need to be freed.

    How long, oh Lord, how long? How long will you let your church think it can succeed in bringing your love to the world whilst it mangles English grammar?

    Is it not enough that we have kidnapped the word INTENTIONAL and used it for our own devices and desires. It was clearly a sin for whoever first added those two little letters to have created such a hybrid monster. Greater though was the sin of those who GIFTED it from one Christian community to another.

    No, no, and a thousand times no. Missional will not do.

    Yet the trouble is, what should we use instead? Is there a simple word or very short phrase that is more acceptable to holy earlugs than missional?

    I declare a competition to find something else. Bring out your simplicity. Wash your spotless grammatical linen in public. Wear your loveliest past participles on your sleeve. Offer up your adjectives. Pour a gentle libation of adverbs before the altar of the Lord.

    Please, please. Offer an alternative.

    Suggestions welcome in the comments below.

    A crown of laurel to the winner.

    , ,

6 responses to “On the election tomorrow”

  1. Tim Avatar
    Tim

    Ooh, Compass looks fun.

    For amusement, it says I’m: Green; LD; SNP; Labour; Tory.

    It’s got one of those right but I’d probably rejig the others a bit 😉

    Reply
  2. Neil Oliver Avatar
    Neil Oliver

    I got a very similar result to Tim and to be honest it reflects my vote quite closely.

    Reply
  3. Tim Avatar
    Tim

    The Compass attributes equal weight to all its questions, hence getting completely the wrong answer for me.
    There is precisely no chance I would ever vote Green while they persist in being in favour of “alternative medicine” and so unthinkingly anti-motorist with no positive transport suggestions to make.

    The only one it got sorta right is to put Tory last – and even that’s neglecting the fact that, if I were the penultimate humanoid on the planet and blue the only box to mark, I’d rather spoil the paper than vote for them. 😉

    Reply
  4. chris Avatar
    chris

    Thanks for link – got me just about right, which is good as I voted a fortnight ago!

    Reply
  5. ryan Avatar
    ryan

    Lib Dems have an Orange Book?! That might of interest to stereotypical fans of the Glorious Glasgow Rangers who can’t support the SNP (non Unionist), Labour (obvious reasons), Tories (too posh) and find themselves unsure of who to vote for with only hours left to decide 😉

    Reply
  6. Gianmaria Framarin Avatar
    Gianmaria Framarin

    Please, lad, quit this continuous and totally wrong identification of Rangers fans as being anti-Labour or even right-winged… you’re talking about that hell of a minority we have at Ibrox who still go on chanting stupid stuff…
    Ibrox is FULL of leftists, Labour Party voters, even SNP, which seems to be the common trend. I hardly ever spoken to a Tory Rangers fan…
    Glasgow’s a red city, always has been for decades, Rangers are a majority in the city, how come they all be “stereotypical tories”???

    Reply

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