• The Straight Civil Partnerships Question

    The question is this. If civil partnership is opened to straight couples then would someone in such a partnership be eligible to be considered for ordination?

    It is a simple question but carries enormous complexity with it and can help to illuminate where we are in the changing world of legal relationship states.

    I first raised this question in June 2013 in a series of 10 unanswered questions about marriage, most of which remain unanswered even now.

    The thing is, it is entirely possible that some straight couples within the different jurisdictions of the UK may soon achieve their hope to be in civil partnerships. I’m aware of both a legal challenge to the current law that is proceeding and also government consultations coming from both Holyrood and Westminster.

    Now, first of all I need to declare that I’ve always been against extending Civil Partnerships to straight people and thought that the best way forward was to turn all gay couples’ civil partnerships into civil marriages. However that has not happened and so we have a situation where there is a basic inequality – gay couples have the option of either marriage or civil partnerships. And lo, inequality is something that we can’t really tolerate in modern society and so something will need to be done. I can’t really see any alternative to opening civil partnership to straight couples. It seems to me to be only a matter of time and whether I like it or not, that is what will happen.

    So, will someone in a straight relationship who is in a civil partnership be eligible for ordination. In Scotland is it well established that someone in a same-sex relationship in a civil partnership is eligible for ordination.

    This is not merely a rhetorical question. All these kinds of questions affect real people. As individuals and couples try to work out the best thing for their own relationships they are currently left second-guessing how they are going to be perceived by the churches that they may belong to.

    I am aware of straight couples in the church who would be interested in entering a civil partnership rather than a marriage.

    But what’s that about.

    I’ve been opposed to civil partnerships continuing because I saw them as intrinsically products of discrimination. They were a legal confection devised to look like marriage and to onto which gay couples projected familiar signs and symbols to get as near as they could to the gold standard of marriage. However, things have now changed.

    It seems to me that straight couples looking for civil partnerships are clearly saying that they want something that is different to marriage and people like me probably need to get used to the idea that it is just different and not less than marriage now even though it once was.

    The church has not really caught up with modern sexual relations in so many areas. As I listen to people twenty years younger than me their presumption is that serial monogamy is a good thing. They believe in faithfulness. They don’t think cheating is acceptable. However, they also are entering into relationships which they themselves would acknowledge might not last forever. The permanence of marriage is not where they are at and I suspect that the civil partnership option might well appeal to such couples.

    The thing is, marriage carries with it a whole load of presumptions, not least that the end of a marriage is a Very Bad Thing. Divorce still carries stigma with it.

    I suspect that at least some of those seeking civil partnership rather than marriage are choosing to reject the possibility of divorce as they feel that the dissolution of a civil partnership carries fewer negative connotations than being divorced.

    But back to the straight civil partnerships question. Would someone in a same-sex relationship in a civil partnership (presuming that such things will soon become a reality) be able to be ordained in the Scottish Episcopal Church – or the other mainstream churches for that matter?

    If not, why not?

    So far as I can tell, Canon Law is silent on any relationships other than straight married ones.

28 responses to “Tilly – RIP”

  1. Russell Goulbourne Avatar
    Russell Goulbourne

    I’m really sorry to hear this very sad news, Kelvin. What a lovely tribute to her. The purring will never cease…

  2. Sophie Avatar
    Sophie

    I am so sorry, Kelvin. It is dreadful when beloved creatures die. I hope your flat is not unbearably empty without your Tilly.

  3. Ritualist Robert Avatar
    Ritualist Robert

    A cat who can vault over a dressed chalice really does deserve some kind of veneration.

    Such a moving tribute.

  4. […] Meanwhile, sympathy to Kevin Holdsworth who is mourning the loss of Tilly. […]

  5. Christine Avatar
    Christine

    What a wonderful obit for Tilly. I have never met Kevin or Tilly, but I applaud your strength in writing this lovely piece for all to share. I am a pet bereavement counsellor, and really believe that much good comes from us feeling able to express our grief for our lost animals, in whichever way we feel we can manage. It is also very heartening to read such a piece on a Church-related site. Bless you both.

  6. Patricia Avatar
    Patricia

    If Tilly’s obituary is anything to go by her memory will, in the days, weeks and months to come provide you with in exhaustable supply of stories to share with others ~ both those who knew her and those who meet her through the retelling of your stories. My sympathy to you in your loss ~ one that is shared by many others who have lost beloved pets and companions.

  7. Andrew Barr Avatar
    Andrew Barr

    Dear Kelvin,
    Deeply moved by your piece. Miss Tilly has left light for all of us who care about the SEC. Our dear friends , Emmy, Joshua, Mc Bean, Batty and most of all Caspar live on in us, and Mrs Tilly will be purring not far away always I am sure.
    Mrs Tilly, risen in glory.

  8. Ruth Avatar
    Ruth

    Beautifully written – sad and uplifting. What a lovely picture of her. Cute nose too.
    I was idly checking out your blog to see if you had a perspective on MOOT, but was immediately sidetracked by, firstly Miss Tilly, then clerical footwear ( I’d go for the purple Prada, if the soles were also painted purple – or the shiny black sequins).
    I’m almost tempted to swap cathedrals……. should enjoyment of the Provost’s blog be a consideration when choosing one’s place of worship?

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