• Why outing [some] bishops must remain an option

    Last weekend, an extraordinary letter was published in the Sunday Telegraph. It came from 300 Christians, mostly Anglicans who were offering support to their bishops should any of them decide to come out.

    It was described by some as a love letter to gay bishops.

    I had the chance to sign the letter and, though I have a great deal of sympathy with its aim, found that I didn’t feel that I could do so because the letter itself contained a line that I disagreed with. It said that those signing the letter were against involuntarily outing bishops. Though I don’t believe anyone should be outed for being gay, there are some circumstances where I think outing is justified and for that reason, I declined to sign.

    I’ve since been accused on twitter by an someone of advocating a campaign of intimidation that is “pure hatred”.

    This is nonsense, of course, and came from someone who hides behind an anonymous twitter account.

    But it is worth looking at the issues again.

    This is what the letter said:

    We are lay and ordained Anglicans in the Church of England and other Provinces, who publicly affirm the episcopal ministry in its purpose and diversity.

    We recognize that there is a cost to those who respond to the call to be a bishop. This is especially true for those who are not heterosexual and have kept their sexual orientation private. There is growing pressure on gay bishops to come out publicly. The signatories to this letter do not advocate the involuntary outing of bishops.

    We write to assure those bishops who may choose openly to acknowledge their sexual orientation as gay or bisexual that you will receive our support, prayer, and encouragement.

    Sadly, we live at a time when those who are honest about being LGBTI and Christian are treated with hostility by a vocal minority within and outside the Church.

    We have no doubt that the vast majority of Anglicans will welcome and embrace those of you who are gay or bisexual for your courage and conviction if you come out: weeping with you for past hurts and rejoicing in God’s call as witnesses to Christ’s transforming love and compassion.

    If you stand out we will stand beside you.

    Yours in Christ

    My problem came with the line “The signatories to this letter do not advocate the involuntary outing of bishops.”

    You see, the trouble is, I think that must remain an option. I don’t like the idea of outing bishops and certainly have no plans to do so. But it must remain an option.

    The reason I’ve come to that view is the Keith O’Brien affair here in Scotland. In short, Cardinal Keith O’Brien was conducting a vitriolic campaign against the rights of gay folk whilst himself apparently having secret gay relationships.

    It was a devastating affair not only for his own church but for all Christians in Scotland. It was not merely Roman Catholics who were ashamed of what was revealed and it is not merely Roman Catholics who are troubled by the suggestion at the time that Keith O’Brien may have made appointments that were influenced by his private life, a claim which has never really been put to rest. My friends who are Roman Catholics still speak of their distress at what has happened. Some complain about the lack of any open investigation and many have questions about the involvement of the Roman Catholic Church’s Media Office in promoting what they see as an anti-gay message in Scotland.

    Before this took place, I probably would have signed a letter like the one that appeared in the Sunday Telegraph. However, now, having seen what has happened here amongst my friends, I can’t sign it. Sometimes, as a last resort, outing is necessary. If someone who is gay uses a position of power to attack other gay people and who is living a life inconsistent with the message being preached then I’m afraid that it may be the best thing for them to be exposed and removed from office.

    When I weighed up whether to sign the letter or not, I simply asked myself whether it would have been better for Keith O Brien to still be in post, still campaigning against gay people, still bringing Christianity into disrepute by his message, whilst some people privately knew what was going on. (Incidentally, I was one of those who did know stories about Keith O’Brien before this broke). My conclusion was that the greater good would not be served by him still being in post. I don’t think he as an individual would be best served by his remaining in post.

    So, my reluctant conclusion is that outing people in power must remain an option.

    It also must remain an option to out straight leaders who claim in public to be supportive of gay folk but who privately act against them.

    You are at no risk of being outed if you simply happen to be gay and happen to be in power.

    Should you act against other gay folk, campaign against them and work to limit their human rights, then it seems not unreasonable for your own life to be exposed to public scrutiny.

    I have great sympathies with what those signing the Telegraph letter were doing. Should any bishop decide to come out I’d be first in line to offer support, encouragement and advice on what it means to be gay and have a very public role in the church.

    However, that one sentence meant that I couldn’t actually sign on the dotted line.

    And though it may make other people, like my anonymous twitter troll, very cross, I’ve no regrets about that at all.

28 responses to “Tilly – RIP”

  1. Russell Goulbourne Avatar
    Russell Goulbourne

    I’m really sorry to hear this very sad news, Kelvin. What a lovely tribute to her. The purring will never cease…

  2. Sophie Avatar
    Sophie

    I am so sorry, Kelvin. It is dreadful when beloved creatures die. I hope your flat is not unbearably empty without your Tilly.

  3. Ritualist Robert Avatar
    Ritualist Robert

    A cat who can vault over a dressed chalice really does deserve some kind of veneration.

    Such a moving tribute.

  4. […] Meanwhile, sympathy to Kevin Holdsworth who is mourning the loss of Tilly. […]

  5. Christine Avatar
    Christine

    What a wonderful obit for Tilly. I have never met Kevin or Tilly, but I applaud your strength in writing this lovely piece for all to share. I am a pet bereavement counsellor, and really believe that much good comes from us feeling able to express our grief for our lost animals, in whichever way we feel we can manage. It is also very heartening to read such a piece on a Church-related site. Bless you both.

  6. Patricia Avatar
    Patricia

    If Tilly’s obituary is anything to go by her memory will, in the days, weeks and months to come provide you with in exhaustable supply of stories to share with others ~ both those who knew her and those who meet her through the retelling of your stories. My sympathy to you in your loss ~ one that is shared by many others who have lost beloved pets and companions.

  7. Andrew Barr Avatar
    Andrew Barr

    Dear Kelvin,
    Deeply moved by your piece. Miss Tilly has left light for all of us who care about the SEC. Our dear friends , Emmy, Joshua, Mc Bean, Batty and most of all Caspar live on in us, and Mrs Tilly will be purring not far away always I am sure.
    Mrs Tilly, risen in glory.

  8. Ruth Avatar
    Ruth

    Beautifully written – sad and uplifting. What a lovely picture of her. Cute nose too.
    I was idly checking out your blog to see if you had a perspective on MOOT, but was immediately sidetracked by, firstly Miss Tilly, then clerical footwear ( I’d go for the purple Prada, if the soles were also painted purple – or the shiny black sequins).
    I’m almost tempted to swap cathedrals……. should enjoyment of the Provost’s blog be a consideration when choosing one’s place of worship?

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