• Trolleys are for Supermarkets

    I had a lovely morning today conducting a funeral service. Oh, I know lots of people don’t get that this can be satisfying but to me I can’t really think of a more lovely way of spending a morning than committing someone who has died at a great age into the love of God. The fact that the person who had died had in large part lived to make the world more beautiful only made it more lovely.

    I was struck by a brief conversation with the undertaker before the service went in. This wasn’t a busy funeral – the person who had died had outlived most of those who might once have come to celebrate her life. As the coffin was being taken out of the hearse, I was surprised to see three members of the undertaker’s staff join him in lifting the coffin onto their shoulders.

    “Oh, you don’t use a trolley?” I asked in surprise.

    The answer that I got was wonderful –

    “No, Mr Holdsworth, trolleys are for supermarkets, we always carry the coffin in”.

    I cannot tell you how pleased I was to hear this.

    So many funerals seem to involve a squeaky and undignified trolley. I even have to insist sometimes that the coffin is lifted onto proper tressels during the funeral itself. There’s many a person in the funeral business who would leave a coffin on the trolley throughout.

    Am I alone in thinking that there’s not much dignity in a coffin on wheels?

    I know there will be exceptions where a trolley is necessary and I guess that, in an industry that has seen costs soaring, it is going to cost more if one has to pay the pallbearers but I do prefer a coffin to be carried into church rather than pushed.

    At some crematoria where I’ve officiated the presumption is so much in favour of wheels that a kind of roll-on, roll-off trolley has become an integral part of the proceedings.

    We don’t talk that much about death, though there are some valiant attempts to get us to do so. There’s the death café movement that gathers people to talk about death and I seem to remember an initiative in the Church of England called Grave Talk which was an attempt to build up a conversation.

    I know that any undertakers will arrange for pallbearers to carry a coffin in properly if you ask them. That’s what undertakers do – they undertake to make the arrangements for you. I’m someone who mourns the transformation of undertakers into “funeral directors” – the very term seems to imply that the business knows better than either the celebrant who has probably got a bit of experience on how to do things properly, the relatives (who may, if they are feeling particular grief may well feel better for being involved in the funeral planning and service) and indeed the wishes of the person who has died if they did  the sensible thing and left instructions.

    The joy today was finding a company which just don’t normally use a trolley as policy. It is a small thing but an important one.

    Funeral trolleys always remind me of the wobbly nave altar in St Ninian’s Cathedral in Perth, which itself always looked as though it had been purloined from a hospital porter.

    Now where did undertakers’ trolleys come from? And why do people put up with them?

    They are hideous. Always hideous.

    No. No. Away ye trolley-bearers.

    And congratulations to Sim and Son for their trolley-free policy.

    (I’m happy to link to any other undertakers in the West of Scotland who never use a trolley)

11 responses to “Changing the mobile”

  1. Tim Avatar

    Variously:

    Google Sky;
    Either Catch(.com) or Springpad (see springpadit.com – currently preferred);
    Handcent (SMS);
    FBReader or Aldiko (eBook readers);
    Wikitude / Layar (augmented reality);
    Connectbot (ssh client);
    MyTracks (GPS tracking on steroids), Foursquare;
    AppBak (save/restore lists of things installed);
    Advanced Task Killer (kill processes).

    Welcome aboard 🙂

  2. kelvin Avatar

    Thanks Tim. I found google sky already. Indeed, it was one of the things that persuaded me.

    Now I can see the constellations in the city! Indeed, now I can see the constellations in my bedroom.

  3. Sarah Avatar
    Sarah

    SlideIT – easier way to enter text. Good fun, the predictive side of it can be a bit of a pest so do re-read what you’ve written, although there is the facility to go back to simple ABC input.
    Enjoy the ‘phone!

  4. Kennedy Avatar
    Kennedy

    Lifehacker is always a good source of info for these things.

    http://lifehacker.com/5717356/set-up-and-get-to-know-your-new-android-phone

    Kennedy

  5. agatha Avatar
    agatha

    Nothing to do with phones but I do like the “Want a girlfriend” advertising in the sidebar!

    1. kelvin Avatar

      I’m glad you like whatever you are seeing, Agatha. The ads are served up by a remote server which focusses the ads on the viewer, including whatever you are looking at, where you are and I think also your browsing history.

      Whatever you are looking it is what google thinks should be aimed at you. I see no ads offering girlfriends myself.

  6. ryan Avatar
    ryan

    I do hope I’m not the only one getting “Spy on your boyfriend” ads! 😉

  7. office manager Avatar
    office manager

    Android? Data (trekkie pun intended) could be lost. See story at http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-12138790 Good luck.

  8. Hermano David | Brother Dah•veed Avatar
    Hermano David | Brother Dah•veed

    I see no ads, which beats the Scientology ads that I used to see!

    I have nothing to ad because Padre has forbidden it.

  9. Hedge Avatar

    Snap! I got mine just before Christmas.

    Seesmic (for Twitter)
    Guardian Anywhere (downloads while you sleep and can be read while offline)
    Kindle
    Dropbox
    Pocket Common Worship

    I’m also addicted to Wordfeud, or Scrabble by any other name…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Previous Posts

  • Sermon preached for the Epiphany 2013

    Here’s the sermon I preached for the Epiphany. My day was made when a member of the congregation came up to me at the end beaming. He introduced himself to me as a member of the Iranian Community of Glasgow and said: “We, we Iranians were the first to worship the Baby Jesus!” And they…

  • Here’s to you, Bishop Robinson

    The Church of England is in full brouhaha mode today over gay bishops once again. Before saying anything about that, I think it is important to give a shout out to the Rt Rev Gene Robinson who is retiring today as Bishop of New Hampshire. It was obvious when he was elected and consecrated that…

  • New Year Predictions 2013

    1 – The UK will lose its triple A credit rating. 2 – The Scottish Episcopal Church will have poor statistical returns this year prompting very quiet wailing and gnashing of teeth except in Argyll. 3 – At least one Church of England bishop (and maybe a pair) will be outed. (Only time I’ve retained…

  • Looking back at last year’s predictions

    Time to have a look back at the predictions I made at New Year last year. The Diocese of Edinburgh will have a new bishop by this time next year. (There is currently an Episcopal vacancy). However, they will have been unable to select a bishop from the first list and will end up chosing…