What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • Mr Provost’s Finest Reindeer Receipt

    Roughly chop a leek, couple of slices of bacon and as many cloves of garlic as you dare.

    Heat a frying pan to a sizzle and fling the leek, bacon and garlic in, closely followed by the reindeer steaks.

    After five minutes turn the steaks over and scoop the leek/pig/garlic into another pan.

    Heat this as far as you dare and tip in enough cheap gin to make you wonder whether this is a waste of good gin.

    Throw in a handful of blueberries

    Heat until kitchen is covered in fog reminiscent of the incense at midnight mass.

    Remove from heat and gently stir in several good dollops of crème fraîche.

    Rudolph steaks will now be ready having cooked for a further five minutes. Artfully plate them up and cover with the sauce that will now be advent coloured.

    Serve with oven roasted potato, butternut squash, red pepper, courgette ensemble.

5 responses to “To Castle Douglas”

  1. Stewart Avatar
    Stewart

    With out looking at a map I can think of three:

    Belfast;
    The Cathedral of The Isles, Millport; and
    Carlisle.

    I am not sure if there are others, the next two which are probably further than Glasgow are Newcastle and St Mary’s Edinburgh

    Reply
    1. kelvin Avatar
      kelvin

      No, I don’t think so, Stewart. Partly right and partly wrong.

      Reply
  2. Andrew Swift Avatar
    Andrew Swift

    Greetings from Cowal & Bute.

    Carlisle Cathedral must be closest to Castle Douglas.

    I suspect that St German in Peel, diocese of Sodor & Man, is next closest as the seagull flies – the radio reception from the Isle of Man is extraordinarily clear down there.

    Cathedral of the Isles on Great Cumbrae and Glasgow – pretty similar I would have thought, Calmac notwithstanding. Your poor horse would need waterwings to get over there, and your gaiters would have to fully waterproof.

    Reply
    1. kelvin Avatar
      kelvin

      I’ve travelled from the Isle of Man to Kirkcudbright, but in a yacht. Without the horse.

      Reply
  3. Beth Avatar
    Beth

    As the crow flies, I suspect that both Newcastle and Durham are closer than Glasgow. Of course, in practical terms, the Irish Sea does rather get in the way. Having spent four weeks living somewhere that is not quite so far south as Castle Douglas and yet still does not get BBC Radio Scotland, this wouldn’t surprise me in the least.

    St Mary’s is closer than the Cathedral of the Isles, but only by about a mile and a half.

    Reply

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