What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • Missional – Your Time Has Come

    Hear Ye! Hear Ye!

    I hereby announce an international competition to rid the ears of the godly of a peculiar modern ugliness. Everywhere I go (and I’ve recently been engaged on a quest to go just about everywhere) I’m hearing the word MISSIONAL used in church circles. It seems to me that this is a modern phenomenon and one from which we need to be freed.

    How long, oh Lord, how long? How long will you let your church think it can succeed in bringing your love to the world whilst it mangles English grammar?

    Is it not enough that we have kidnapped the word INTENTIONAL and used it for our own devices and desires. It was clearly a sin for whoever first added those two little letters to have created such a hybrid monster. Greater though was the sin of those who GIFTED it from one Christian community to another.

    No, no, and a thousand times no. Missional will not do.

    Yet the trouble is, what should we use instead? Is there a simple word or very short phrase that is more acceptable to holy earlugs than missional?

    I declare a competition to find something else. Bring out your simplicity. Wash your spotless grammatical linen in public. Wear your loveliest past participles on your sleeve. Offer up your adjectives. Pour a gentle libation of adverbs before the altar of the Lord.

    Please, please. Offer an alternative.

    Suggestions welcome in the comments below.

    A crown of laurel to the winner.

    , ,

5 responses to “To Castle Douglas”

  1. Stewart Avatar
    Stewart

    With out looking at a map I can think of three:

    Belfast;
    The Cathedral of The Isles, Millport; and
    Carlisle.

    I am not sure if there are others, the next two which are probably further than Glasgow are Newcastle and St Mary’s Edinburgh

    Reply
    1. kelvin Avatar
      kelvin

      No, I don’t think so, Stewart. Partly right and partly wrong.

      Reply
  2. Andrew Swift Avatar
    Andrew Swift

    Greetings from Cowal & Bute.

    Carlisle Cathedral must be closest to Castle Douglas.

    I suspect that St German in Peel, diocese of Sodor & Man, is next closest as the seagull flies – the radio reception from the Isle of Man is extraordinarily clear down there.

    Cathedral of the Isles on Great Cumbrae and Glasgow – pretty similar I would have thought, Calmac notwithstanding. Your poor horse would need waterwings to get over there, and your gaiters would have to fully waterproof.

    Reply
    1. kelvin Avatar
      kelvin

      I’ve travelled from the Isle of Man to Kirkcudbright, but in a yacht. Without the horse.

      Reply
  3. Beth Avatar
    Beth

    As the crow flies, I suspect that both Newcastle and Durham are closer than Glasgow. Of course, in practical terms, the Irish Sea does rather get in the way. Having spent four weeks living somewhere that is not quite so far south as Castle Douglas and yet still does not get BBC Radio Scotland, this wouldn’t surprise me in the least.

    St Mary’s is closer than the Cathedral of the Isles, but only by about a mile and a half.

    Reply

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