What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • 10 Correct Opinions About Christmas Carols

    Public service announcement.

    The following opinions are all correct.

    1. The first carol on Christmas Day should always be Christians Awake Salute the Happy Morn. It should be sung lustily and with the last line repeated.
    2. While Shepherds Watched Their Flocks By Night may be sung to almost any tune. It must not, however, be sung to the tune Winchester Old
      • Acceptable tunes shall include:
        • Liverpool
        • Glasgow
        • Lyngham
        • Old Foster
        • Sweet Chiming Christmas Bells
        • Cranbrook – This may only be used once in every decade in any one place. There’s a limit to how entertaining it is.
    3. The best carol of all is It Came Upon the Midnight Clear and it must be sung to the tune Noel by Arthur Sullivan. There are many things in which the US based Episcopal Church is correct but it is incorrect in its choice of tune for this carol. It may also be sung at Michaelmas. The incorrect words “It Came upon a midnight clear” are anathema. They have as much place in the Christian faith as Sundays before Advent or Sundays before Lent – ie none whatsoever.
    4. Jingle Bells is not a carol.
    5. The carol Of the Father’s Love Begotten may be sung at any time from Advent Sunday until the Feast of Candlemas. It must only be sung to the words agreed by Mr Frikki Walker and myself. The verse about seer and sybyl must always be included as it is both profound and reminds us all of Sybil Fawlty. I have every intention of broadcasting this carol unto the nation at the earliest opportunity so that everyone else may copy the St Mary’s version of the words.
    6. 10 points may be claimed for anyone spotting a heresy in any carol. A bonus of 50 points is awarded to anyone who can come up with a heresy-free version that people will enjoy singing.
      • Your starter for 10 is “Veiled in flesh the Godhead see” which sounds like Docetism to me.
    7. Anyone claiming that carols should be sung “in the original version” shall be required to sing Hark How All The Welkin Rings at the next carol service they are at and will then be required to explain to everyone at the door what a welkin is.
    8. In the Bleak Midwinter may be sung, even though Jesus probably was not born amidst snow. However, it may only be sung by a good choir singing the Harold Darke version.
    9. O Come All Ye Faithful is a Jacobite rallying call and is most proper for Scottish Episcopalians to sing.
    10. Christmas cake should be eaten with cheese and not marzipan and icing.

    Thank you for your attention.

4 responses to “How would you teach me to pray?”

  1. Chris Avatar
    Chris

    Thanks for this, Kelvin. I still can’t answer the question, I just know when it’s been answered for me.

    Reply
  2. Patrick Hall Avatar
    Patrick Hall

    I have never found personal prayer particularly easy. It’s not that I don’t believe in it, because I really do, but faced with the challenge of articulating everything before God, I somehow dry up and get frustrated with myself.

    I guess I settled on the idea of simply bowing my head and being still in God’s presence. I don’t try to converse with God anymore and simply trust that everything flows through in those moments of stillness. Somehow, it works for me.

    Reply
  3. Meg Rosenfeld Avatar
    Meg Rosenfeld

    This is hardly original with me, but one way of praying is to sing, either aloud (I recommend doing so in the shower, if you don’t live alone) or in your head. The music seems to give wings to the words, and we have so many beautiful hymns. However, if you’re the least bit of a wise-acre, you must guard against “rewriting” the words of hymns and anthems; the new lyrics can be dreadfully tenacious, says (sigh) one who knows

    Reply
  4. Elizabeth Anderson Avatar
    Elizabeth Anderson

    Thank you for this. I’ve struggled with prayer… We’ll, always, but especially since having children (or doing a theology doctorate… One came right after the other so hard to pick a cause)… This gives me hope and encouragement not to give up.

    Reply

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