What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • Liturgical news

    Here is the liturgical news from St Mary’s Cathedral, Glasgow yesterday.

    • The Provost announced during morning service that the church is responsible for far too much condemnation in the world and far too few blessings. He and the Vice Provost then went on to offer the ancient Blessing of the Throats traditionally performed by holding candles to the throats of the faithful on St Blaise’s Day. About 45 members of the congregation had their throats blessed.
    • There have been no outbreaks of any diseases of the throat since yesterday.
    • The Provost turned into a flailing jellyfish at two points during yesterday’s mass. The first was the result of him seeing the gospel procession going past him and on down the aisle before he had woken up to the fact that he was the deacon and due to read the gospel. The second was when he tried to retrieve and consume a fallen host during communion. This resulted in a manoeuvre that is known as being Slain in the Spirit amongst low church people and known as falling Amice over Tippet by high church people.
    • The Provost was dismayed at the end of the mass to have it pointed out to him that the mass may not have been valid as he was wearing his stole in the manner of a priest rather than in the manner of a deacon.
    • The Provost then used the fact that his stole was the wrong way round to justify the fact that he had forgotten to follow the gospel procession earlier in the service.
    • Black shoes were worn throughout.

2 responses to “Conversation, Striptease & Fishing – how to blog for beginners”

  1. Rosemary Hannah Avatar
    Rosemary Hannah

    I rarely read blogs where I cannot comment – and yes I am a chatterbox on line as well as in real life.

    I blog because there are things I long to share – which is not to say they are things others long to read. I do sometimes wonder what others make of a mix of family weddings, current church controversies, sheep keeping and hairdressers.

    I can’t do strip tease – the most I can manage is keeping a one piece bathing costume on. (There is a dated phrase for you!)

    I do so wish there was more conversation on my blog. I know how many daily hits I get, but am not sure how many readers that equates to – more than I used to preach to, that is for sure.

    I am heartened by how many who do not have strong church connections read your blog, Kelvin, mine and Kimberly’s.

    But more than anything else I want to show that Christianity is a part of the lives of ordinary people, who have sheep and hairdressers (you don’t have both – you don’t have a hairdresser??) and do not, not subscribe to every idiocy believed by extremists on either side.

    Reply
  2. Neil Oliver Avatar
    Neil Oliver

    I rarely comment on blogs, but perhaps you’re right and it’s part of the experience, to conect and open up. I enjoy your blog since I found it, the first church leader’s blog I’ve come accross. It often seems some church people just don’t use this medium, which just cuts them off further from the world many of us live in. Your refeshing view on topics also makes it a must go to.

    Reply

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