What is in Kelvin's Head?

10 Correct Opinions About Christmas Carols

27/12/2018
Public service announcement.

The following opinions are all correct.
1. The first carol on Christmas Day should always be Christians Awake Salute the Happy Morn. It should be sung lustily and with the last line repeated.
2. While Shepherds Watched Their Flocks By Night may be sung to almost any tune. It must not, however, be sung to the tune Winchester Old
  - Acceptable tunes shall include:
    
    Liverpool
    
    Glasgow
    
    Lyngham
    
    Old Foster
    
    Sweet Chiming Christmas Bells
    
    Cranbrook – This may only be used once in every decade in any one place. There’s a limit to how entertaining it is.
3. The best carol of all is It Came Upon the Midnight Clear and it must be sung to the tune Noel by Arthur Sullivan. There are many things in which the US based Episcopal Church is correct but it is incorrect in its choice of tune for this carol. It may also be sung at Michaelmas. The incorrect words “It Came upon a midnight clear” are anathema. They have as much place in the Christian faith as Sundays before Advent or Sundays before Lent – ie none whatsoever.
4. Jingle Bells is not a carol.
5. The carol Of the Father’s Love Begotten may be sung at any time from Advent Sunday until the Feast of Candlemas. It must only be sung to the words agreed by Mr Frikki Walker and myself. The verse about seer and sybyl must always be included as it is both profound and reminds us all of Sybil Fawlty. I have every intention of broadcasting this carol unto the nation at the earliest opportunity so that everyone else may copy the St Mary’s version of the words.
6. 10 points may be claimed for anyone spotting a heresy in any carol. A bonus of 50 points is awarded to anyone who can come up with a heresy-free version that people will enjoy singing.
  - Your starter for 10 is “Veiled in flesh the Godhead see” which sounds like Docetism to me.
7. Anyone claiming that carols should be sung “in the original version” shall be required to sing Hark How All The Welkin Rings at the next carol service they are at and will then be required to explain to everyone at the door what a welkin is.
8. In the Bleak Midwinter may be sung, even though Jesus probably was not born amidst snow. However, it may only be sung by a good choir singing the Harold Darke version.
9. O Come All Ye Faithful is a Jacobite rallying call and is most proper for Scottish Episcopalians to sing.
10. Christmas cake should be eaten with cheese and not marzipan and icing.
Thank you for your attention.
Christmas carols

6 responses to “Hung!”

Tim

07/05/2010

All very well saying Labour have “lost their mandate to govern” when he’s not actually gained one either…

I guess a hung parliament has been most likely for the past few weeks, much as one might wish for a happier colour. I’ll bear the rest of your predictions in mind for later though 🙂

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Aaron

07/05/2010

Here in Canada we’ve had a minority government for five years now, with little sign of it falling. The Conservative PM is pretty bland, but the Liberals have the least inspiring leader you could imagine and the NDP are lead by a nutter. (And the Bloc isn’t national.) The opposition parties don’t want to trigger an election, because they fear that the voters would blame them for having to trudge to the polls. That and they’re even less popular than our lackluster PM.

I think a minority government works, actually, simply because the governing party has to seek consensus. (And, in our case, the opposition parties have to as well.) Then again, I’m from the States where the President needs Congress and the voters often elect them from opposite parties.

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David | Dahâ€¢veed

07/05/2010

Off Topic –

I am surprised that you have not said anything at MadPriest’s post about you. Especially since it has such a large photo.

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ryan

07/05/2010

I saw that photo too! Kelvin does look a bit camp in it.

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1. kelvin
  
  07/05/2010
  
  Camp?
  
  Moi?
  
  Reply
ryan

08/05/2010

Well, it’s not as butch as the Italian Vanity Fair photos 😉

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