What is in Kelvin's Head?

Liturgical news

04/02/2013
Here is the liturgical news from St Mary’s Cathedral, Glasgow yesterday.
- The Provost announced during morning service that the church is responsible for far too much condemnation in the world and far too few blessings. He and the Vice Provost then went on to offer the ancient Blessing of the Throats traditionally performed by holding candles to the throats of the faithful on St Blaise’s Day. About 45 members of the congregation had their throats blessed.
- There have been no outbreaks of any diseases of the throat since yesterday.
- The Provost turned into a flailing jellyfish at two points during yesterday’s mass. The first was the result of him seeing the gospel procession going past him and on down the aisle before he had woken up to the fact that he was the deacon and due to read the gospel. The second was when he tried to retrieve and consume a fallen host during communion. This resulted in a manoeuvre that is known as being Slain in the Spirit amongst low church people and known as falling Amice over Tippet by high church people.
- The Provost was dismayed at the end of the mass to have it pointed out to him that the mass may not have been valid as he was wearing his stole in the manner of a priest rather than in the manner of a deacon.
- The Provost then used the fact that his stole was the wrong way round to justify the fact that he had forgotten to follow the gospel procession earlier in the service.
- Black shoes were worn throughout.

6 responses to “Hung!”

Tim

07/05/2010

All very well saying Labour have “lost their mandate to govern” when he’s not actually gained one either…

I guess a hung parliament has been most likely for the past few weeks, much as one might wish for a happier colour. I’ll bear the rest of your predictions in mind for later though 🙂

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Aaron

07/05/2010

Here in Canada we’ve had a minority government for five years now, with little sign of it falling. The Conservative PM is pretty bland, but the Liberals have the least inspiring leader you could imagine and the NDP are lead by a nutter. (And the Bloc isn’t national.) The opposition parties don’t want to trigger an election, because they fear that the voters would blame them for having to trudge to the polls. That and they’re even less popular than our lackluster PM.

I think a minority government works, actually, simply because the governing party has to seek consensus. (And, in our case, the opposition parties have to as well.) Then again, I’m from the States where the President needs Congress and the voters often elect them from opposite parties.

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David | Dahâ€¢veed

07/05/2010

Off Topic –

I am surprised that you have not said anything at MadPriest’s post about you. Especially since it has such a large photo.

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ryan

07/05/2010

I saw that photo too! Kelvin does look a bit camp in it.

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1. kelvin
  
  07/05/2010
  
  Camp?
  
  Moi?
  
  Reply
ryan

08/05/2010

Well, it’s not as butch as the Italian Vanity Fair photos 😉

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