• Trolleys are for Supermarkets

    I had a lovely morning today conducting a funeral service. Oh, I know lots of people don’t get that this can be satisfying but to me I can’t really think of a more lovely way of spending a morning than committing someone who has died at a great age into the love of God. The fact that the person who had died had in large part lived to make the world more beautiful only made it more lovely.

    I was struck by a brief conversation with the undertaker before the service went in. This wasn’t a busy funeral – the person who had died had outlived most of those who might once have come to celebrate her life. As the coffin was being taken out of the hearse, I was surprised to see three members of the undertaker’s staff join him in lifting the coffin onto their shoulders.

    “Oh, you don’t use a trolley?” I asked in surprise.

    The answer that I got was wonderful –

    “No, Mr Holdsworth, trolleys are for supermarkets, we always carry the coffin in”.

    I cannot tell you how pleased I was to hear this.

    So many funerals seem to involve a squeaky and undignified trolley. I even have to insist sometimes that the coffin is lifted onto proper tressels during the funeral itself. There’s many a person in the funeral business who would leave a coffin on the trolley throughout.

    Am I alone in thinking that there’s not much dignity in a coffin on wheels?

    I know there will be exceptions where a trolley is necessary and I guess that, in an industry that has seen costs soaring, it is going to cost more if one has to pay the pallbearers but I do prefer a coffin to be carried into church rather than pushed.

    At some crematoria where I’ve officiated the presumption is so much in favour of wheels that a kind of roll-on, roll-off trolley has become an integral part of the proceedings.

    We don’t talk that much about death, though there are some valiant attempts to get us to do so. There’s the death café movement that gathers people to talk about death and I seem to remember an initiative in the Church of England called Grave Talk which was an attempt to build up a conversation.

    I know that any undertakers will arrange for pallbearers to carry a coffin in properly if you ask them. That’s what undertakers do – they undertake to make the arrangements for you. I’m someone who mourns the transformation of undertakers into “funeral directors” – the very term seems to imply that the business knows better than either the celebrant who has probably got a bit of experience on how to do things properly, the relatives (who may, if they are feeling particular grief may well feel better for being involved in the funeral planning and service) and indeed the wishes of the person who has died if they did  the sensible thing and left instructions.

    The joy today was finding a company which just don’t normally use a trolley as policy. It is a small thing but an important one.

    Funeral trolleys always remind me of the wobbly nave altar in St Ninian’s Cathedral in Perth, which itself always looked as though it had been purloined from a hospital porter.

    Now where did undertakers’ trolleys come from? And why do people put up with them?

    They are hideous. Always hideous.

    No. No. Away ye trolley-bearers.

    And congratulations to Sim and Son for their trolley-free policy.

    (I’m happy to link to any other undertakers in the West of Scotland who never use a trolley)

One response to “For the Bible Tells Me So”

  1. Rosemary Hannah Avatar
    Rosemary Hannah

    Personally, I’ve never had a problem with churches – my last church knew my son as a person and if anybody did have reservations they were not going to voice them about one of their own to one of their own – most members of the congregation were totally OK as one would expect.

    What I have occasionally had problems with: the occasional Christian saying something which made me yearn for a pick axe, like ‘but one day we will cure homosexuals’ (over my dead body do you cure my son of being himself. Take this literally for the good of your own health.)
    ‘Most of this congregation are wholly accepting of gay Christians. Of course I can see it is more difficult if it is your own child’. (Only different in so far as it is better, sonny)

    It should not be an issue. Except perhaps outside the church. I clean for a lovely elderly couple. Mrs is eagerly awaiting further news of my outfit for son’s civil union in the summer – she lives in terror of Mr saying something crashingly tactless. I wish I could say something to reassure her that I know Mr is just about as tactful as I am, and he is forgiven beforehand. No offence meant and none taken as ’twere.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Previous Posts

  • Can you help me out here?

    I’ve been asked quite a few times this week for help. However I need you to help me out first before I can decide what to say or do. The thing is, people keep saying to me that they want to learn how to do the online thing better in a church context. After I…

  • Aaron Swartz

    Can I suggest you head over to Akma’s blog to read his post about the death of Aaron Swartz. It is moving and thoughtful and expresses more eloquently than I can how I feel about this death. Most people won’t know Aaron’s name. However we all get the benefit of his work. As Akma says,…

  • What people are looking for

    The following search terms have all brought people to my blog in the last month: Lucy Winkett married (I’ve no idea) friendship as sacrament (if only the churches were this wise) Old St Paul’s homosexuality (A number of searches on this one suggesting that people are not finding what they are looking for from their…

  • Should churches use e-mail? Or indeed blogging?

    Yesterday’s post about the internet and what we can learn from the demise of HMV didn’t raise that many comments but it certainly did the rounds, being more shared on Facebook than anything that I’ve written in months. It was picked up as a conversation topic by the Anglican Church of Canada’s The Conversation too.…