• Good Friday Sermon 2024 – It is finished

    In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen

    I remember some years ago hearing someone speaking about what made people compatible.

    I think that it was someone who was a statistician who was making quite a living by advising people who were designing dating apps on what questions to ask people which would give the greatest likelihood of a match working out.

    And they reported that there were two questions which were way ahead of other questions in predicting people’s compatibility. And they were rather odd.

    The first one was about how long you had ever lived abroad. His statistics seemed to show that couples were more likely to get together and last if their experience of living abroad was similar. Someone who had lived away from their own country for a year or so was surprisingly likely to find someone who had done the same thing attractive enough to form a relationship with them.

    And the other indicator was a simple question but which is the focus of what I’m thinking about this afternoon.

    It was – how much you liked horror films.

    Somehow there was a greater possibility of compatibility amongst people who had a shared tolerance of horror movies.

    Well, I don’t know whether I’m giving away all my secrets this afternoon, but I’ve lived abroad a few times for three months each.

    And I can’t stand horror.

    Put me in a room with a horror movie and all I can long for is for it to be over.

    When will it be finished is the only thing I can think about.

    Good Friday does not come to me easily.

    Some people within the Christian faith believe very strongly that there is meaning in suffering. I tend towards the view that suffering means that meaning is stripped from life.

    I don’t think that suffering and pain are righteous, holy, necessary or God willed.

    No God I believe in could will the suffering of anyone.

    And so there’s a lot of the theology around the cross and around Good Friday that I find rather hard to stomach.

    Indeed, I find Good Friday rather hard to stomach.

    The images from Scripture are horrific. The emotional abandonment of the end of the Maundy Thursday service I find considerably easier. Our Lord ends up alone, betrayed and with the crowd baying for his death. Clearly the popularity of the mob last Sunday when he entered Jerusalem turned rather quickly into something rather frightening. A reminder of how easily any of us can be swayed by the mentality of a mob.

    But the abandonment and loneliness of the Saviour on the Thursday evokes pity in me.

    The experience of today, I experience as horror. Stomach turning horror.

    And it is hard to know what to do with it except for allow that horror to tell its truths to me.

    For Christ is crucified when unjust systems condemn people to death for their beliefs.

    Christ is crucified when war is seen as a pathway to peace.

    Christ is crucified when children starve of hunger.

    Christ is crucified when people are abused.

    Christ is crucified when inequality triumphs and ruins human potential.

    Christ is crucified when patriarchy has its all too familiar way.

    I can see the crucifixion in all these things when human action and inaction cause suffering, pain and despair.

    But I can see the experience of Christ on the cross too in things which don’t have human action behind them. Tragic heath conditions lead sometimes to unimaginable pain.

    My fear of horror movies makes me want to look anywhere you see but look at the cross on Good Friday.

    I’d rather relate to horror that I can explain or horror that I can pity than simply look at the horror that is played out on the crosses on the hill as Christ and the others crucified with him are put to death.

    Some see his words, “It is finished” as marking some moment of triumph but I’ve never been able to hear them that way.

    The absurdity of the death penalty wasn’t finished by this. It carried on killing and carries on killing in many part of the world still.

    The tragedy of those who think that a sharp violent death surge can keep the people in order has its obvious echoes in many countries today.

    The pity of an unsettled world where violence seems so often to have the upper hand seems to go on and on and on. That wasn’t finished by any of this.

    I watch as civilian populations in Israel and Gaza have been weaponized over the last few months and I feel utter despair. The reality of apparent war crimes being carried out in Gaza is on screens we all carry in our pockets. The brutal cruelty of terrorist acts is played out in our time lines on every device we look at.

    Who needs horror movies anyway these days?

    But there I go taking my attention away again – seeing it all through the lens of what we see happening in the news. And what we forget is happening too – the things we don’t get to see in the news – forgotten wars, forgotten injustices.

    The horror is in front of us today on Good Friday.

    A young man strung up and all for what?

    For telling us we were loved?

    For sharing wise stories and pithy sayings to live by?

    For not being the leader of the militant faction that so many hoped for?

    What was the point in his death.

    What is the point of the horror.

    And what does he mean when he says it is finished?

    Dear Lord Jesus on the cross, believe me when I look back at you and shake my head. It isn’t finished at all.

    The horror movie goes on playing. The violence goes on being justified. The pain goes on being felt.

    The horror is too awful to bear.

    We make it more palatable with our silences and with our music this day. And we sit in a relatively safe and beautiful space to think about these things.

    And here we abide, with the story of a crucifixion playing out in our inner souls.

    And here we stay and here we think about the dear young saviour on the cross for whom it is now finished.

    And here we stay and here we think about those places and those people whom we know for whom it is not.

9 responses to “The Episcopal Way of Death”

  1. Rosemary Hannah Avatar
    Rosemary Hannah

    The greatest privilege I have ever had in the service of the people of the church was to be the person who received the coffin the night before the funeral and led Compline then. The church was on an island, and the coffins those of people I loved and honoured. It was deeply moving for everybody there. I hope one day that will be done for me and mine.

  2. Sr Alison Joy Avatar
    Sr Alison Joy

    I have prayed washed and dressed Sisters who have died and it helped me to see that death is not scary. I have lined a number of Sisters graves with flowers around the inner edge from the inside, also helpful. The body was received at Vespers in Chapel the day before, Solemn Requiem was the next day complete with asperges and incense. We returned from the graveside and when in Chapel sung a very joyful favorite hymn for the Sister we had just buried. It was always a sad, happy, remembering occasion I hope that I will be able to have most of this too.

  3. Sarah Lawton Avatar
    Sarah Lawton

    This is beautifully said.

    When my parents died in a car crash, we knew our Episcopal church would be too small to accommodate all the mourners; but the local Roman Catholic congregation saw our need and graciously offered the use of their space for our Episcopal funeral (including Eucharist led by two Episcopal bishops). They also offered their pall for the second coffin as we had only one. All the churches and the synagogue in town offered choir members and/or food for the feast after the service. An ecumenical, indeed, interfaith foretaste of heaven!

    We placed the two bodies in closed coffins in our Episcopal church the night before; we prayed Evensong and Compline, and received a long line of visitors; and then parishioners kept vigil with the bodies all night. In the morning we prayed over the bodies before beginning the procession to the larger RC church where the (Episcopal) funeral was to be held. In this sad, glorious service sang many, many Easter hymns, and I learned that it’s possible to sing and sing even through tears. I’m told that people reconciled that day who had not spoken in years – I’ve heard it from both parties (one now a bishop).

    All of which is to say: our Episcopal Way of Death can be a profound grace if we let it. It can be profound too when it’s a simple, small, quiet service for a person who has lived a long life and died of old age (unlike my parents). It’s the same words, the same truth of loss – all of us pass through this life but for a moment – the same mystery, the same words of affirmation and hope at the grave: alleluia, alleluia, alleluia.

    1. Kelvin Avatar

      Thank you for posting that – bearing witness to exactly what I was trying to say.

    2. Michael Povey Avatar
      Michael Povey

      Thanks Sarah. (Other readers, Sarah is a friend. I was at the Funeral and heard her offer the most profound Gospel Centred and Honest Grief eulogy I have ever heard)

      1. Sarah Lawton Avatar
        Sarah Lawton

        Dear Michael, thank you for saying that. Your presence that day was a blessing to our family. That gathering, for all the shock and sadness, really did feel like a foretaste of heaven, didn’t it? A great cloud of witnesses singing with us.

  4. Ronnie Smith Avatar

    Having attended a few funerals in our parish recently – one of them for our Vicar, who died on Easter Eve – and being nearer to the grave myself (at 85 and still active as a priest) I appreciate, Father Kelvin, the care you take over this special subject. The Church can be so close to families at this special time – giving them a taste of ‘The great love of God as revealed in the Son’ – precious at this time.

  5. Tony Whatmough Avatar
    Tony Whatmough

    There are sometimes good reasons for having the cremation first, as there was for my brother yesterday especially with people traveling and wanting to be able to bury the ashes on the same day. They key is to talk with the family about what they are looking for and how it can be done.

    1. Kelvin Avatar

      Dear Tony, I’m sorry to hear that you’ve lost your brother. May be rest in peace and rise in glory.

      There are always reasons why people want to have a cremation first and people always believe that they are good reasons. Every single time there are reasons. My contention is that I’m unpersuaded that any of them justify changing what we believe. (What we do and what we believe being utterly bound up with one another in such circumstances).

      My point about funerals is very precisely that the wishes of the family are important but that no tradition will survive if we simply abandon what we believe for reasons of convenience.

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