What is in Kelvin's Head?

Liturgical news

04/02/2013
Here is the liturgical news from St Mary’s Cathedral, Glasgow yesterday.
- The Provost announced during morning service that the church is responsible for far too much condemnation in the world and far too few blessings. He and the Vice Provost then went on to offer the ancient Blessing of the Throats traditionally performed by holding candles to the throats of the faithful on St Blaise’s Day. About 45 members of the congregation had their throats blessed.
- There have been no outbreaks of any diseases of the throat since yesterday.
- The Provost turned into a flailing jellyfish at two points during yesterday’s mass. The first was the result of him seeing the gospel procession going past him and on down the aisle before he had woken up to the fact that he was the deacon and due to read the gospel. The second was when he tried to retrieve and consume a fallen host during communion. This resulted in a manoeuvre that is known as being Slain in the Spirit amongst low church people and known as falling Amice over Tippet by high church people.
- The Provost was dismayed at the end of the mass to have it pointed out to him that the mass may not have been valid as he was wearing his stole in the manner of a priest rather than in the manner of a deacon.
- The Provost then used the fact that his stole was the wrong way round to justify the fact that he had forgotten to follow the gospel procession earlier in the service.
- Black shoes were worn throughout.

8 responses to “Taking Children to Church”

Kimberly

13/01/2009

gosh, they’ve converted you.

Your father must have been overflowing with joy.

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Lay clerk

13/01/2009

Thinking of having some of your own Kelvin? Maybe a bit of a lifestyle change?

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Stewart

13/01/2009

Kneeling on kneelers is easy. It is during Evensong when your head starts to drop and combined with the warmth that there is a tendency to drop off.

Never that I would drop off during one of your sermons!

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kelvin

13/01/2009

Using kneelers which are wobbling around on a footrest is trickier than for people who find themselves too small to also be able to half perch on the pew at the same time.

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Melissa Holloway

13/01/2009

At St. Mary’s we have the starfish, the boat, and the snake to find. And no need to count the crosses every week, some weeks we count the lillies. (The question is, do you get bonus points for Shona?)

Waiting to see the bread be broken is important, because if you are not careful, you may miss it.

I wouldn’t discount sleeping, either. When you feel welcome and warm, adults who love you lend you their coats for cushions, and the music fills your senses. I think it must be spiritual.

The best, though, is when the bells are ringing. Who is the first to hear them?

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Zebadee

14/01/2009

Taking children to Church–oh yes. To quotes the words of Jesus somewhat out of context, but possibly not ” You are not far from the Kingdom of God”. Or is this actually the KofG?

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gail

14/01/2009

So glad for you, your nephews and your Dad that your 3 generations got the chance to share this very very special experience. I hope you will make every effort to let such moments happen again and again. You all deserve it !
Lay Clerk was evidently having a ‘bah humbug’ moment.
I would say that such moments are a very great joy and a priviledge – especially for those of us who do not have a regular daily contact with children. Godchildren (and nephews/ neices if available) are certainly gifted by The Almighty, reveal the most unexpected of perspectives, and give such love and trust. We have much to learn from them. Praise be !

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Moyra

14/01/2009

I love the chance to take my godchildren to church! We all get so much from the experience.

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