What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • Missional – Your Time Has Come

    Hear Ye! Hear Ye!

    I hereby announce an international competition to rid the ears of the godly of a peculiar modern ugliness. Everywhere I go (and I’ve recently been engaged on a quest to go just about everywhere) I’m hearing the word MISSIONAL used in church circles. It seems to me that this is a modern phenomenon and one from which we need to be freed.

    How long, oh Lord, how long? How long will you let your church think it can succeed in bringing your love to the world whilst it mangles English grammar?

    Is it not enough that we have kidnapped the word INTENTIONAL and used it for our own devices and desires. It was clearly a sin for whoever first added those two little letters to have created such a hybrid monster. Greater though was the sin of those who GIFTED it from one Christian community to another.

    No, no, and a thousand times no. Missional will not do.

    Yet the trouble is, what should we use instead? Is there a simple word or very short phrase that is more acceptable to holy earlugs than missional?

    I declare a competition to find something else. Bring out your simplicity. Wash your spotless grammatical linen in public. Wear your loveliest past participles on your sleeve. Offer up your adjectives. Pour a gentle libation of adverbs before the altar of the Lord.

    Please, please. Offer an alternative.

    Suggestions welcome in the comments below.

    A crown of laurel to the winner.

    , ,

5 responses to “Crossing the River”

  1. Layclerk Avatar
    Layclerk

    Is Joshua Chapter 3 the one that mentions the Glasgow Underground, or the one relating to Pollokshaws West station?

    Reply
  2. kelvin Avatar
    kelvin

    http://bible.oremus.org/?ql=92408481

    Reply
  3. DampDoris Avatar
    DampDoris

    ……so are these priests, bearing the Ark of the Covenant, still tramping around Glasgow, or did they, too, have a destination in mind ? Most fortuitous they met you in your moment of need (Presumably they will not be lodging on the banks of the Clyde on a dull and dismal dricht day like today……….and if they are, hope you’ll take them some warm blankets and fortifying broth on your next trip to cross the water…….)
    PS. And are these still the same guys that knew Joshua ?
    PPS. Or did I miss a deeper link, bridging the diolemma ?

    Reply
  4. Kelvin Avatar
    Kelvin

    Actually, although I had made plans for a procession of priests carrying the Ark of the Covenant to get me over the river, when I got to the riverbank, I was amazed to find that someone had built a bridge.

    Reply
  5. Stewart Avatar
    Stewart

    Had not realised this was your reason for crossing the river. I well remember the 75th anniversary of the dedication festival.

    It had not occured to me that the centenary had come round so quickly. Happy memories of growing up.

    Reply

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