There are doubtless parts of the world where someone in my position would not need the skills that I have. If one were the Dean of a Swedish Cathedral or one of the glories of the Church of England, perhaps it would be the case that you could just hire Someone To Do It For You. However, I’ve found that I’ve had to learn a lot by myself. Here are 10 key skills that I’ve tried to teach myself.
Working as a priest in Scotland in a part of Christendom which is, shall we say, financially challenged, I find these skills to be essential for building a congregation and helping it to grow.
None of them are things which I was taught during my formation for ministry by the church.
1 – Being able to resize pictures and put text on them
Oh, I know you were expecting me to say that the number one skill that a priest needs is to be able to parse a Hebrew sentence or to be able to recite the reasons that the Council of Nicaea was called but no, there are other things that you need in order to be able to attract folk to the lovely mysteries these days and being able to manipulate pictures is right up there.
The truth is, we are becoming an ever visual culture and being the mistress of how and where your message appears visually is a fundamental skill.
I could teach you this in an afternoon.
I use gimp to manipulate images. It is free as in beer, speech and salvation.
This is what I’m talking about:
See how your eye shot to that on the page?
2 – Being able to read a balance sheet
Yes, lots of people are frightened of numbers. I’m in the lucky position of having a maths and computer degree and that gives me a head start. However, the maths I learned didn’t tell me much about how to deal with financial information. That experience does give me a head start in trying to get my head around annual statistics, but money is something else.
I don’t think I’m particularly skilled in this area, but I know the basics. Enough anyway to have requested a copy of the church accounts when I was interviewing for this post and enough to have asked the bishop at the time whether he knew that the cathedral basically had no money. And I know enough to be able to read the diocesan accounts now and realise that St Mary’s is contributing more than the poorest 30 or so congregations in the diocese. (And I note that each congregation having one vote at Diocesan Synod feels like a very expensive delight from where I’m standing).
3 – Being able to read music and sing
It is impossible to underestimate how much it can improve matters in any congregation if the priest has some musical common sense and a few basic skills. I think that one of the basics about growing a congregation is that you can’t make any progress unless the congregation like singing what they are invited to sing. The theology doesn’t matter that much. (Trust me on this one, there are strong musical traditions with astonishingly bonkers theologies that have helped very different churches to expand). The musical style doesn’t seem to matter that much. If your congregation enjoy belting something out, your congregation is more likely to grow than if they feel uncertain, grumpy or sad when they sing. Almost no-one talks about this. I don’t know why.
Everyone can sing a bit better than they do. Everyone should try to do so.
For the kingdom.
4 – Being able to set up a WordPress blog
Think what Gutenberg managed to do for the Christian faith by making ideas available to those who were desperate to receive them.
Now think what you could do with power that Gutenberg could not have imagined.
We are all publishing outfits these days.
Go on, go the extra mile and learn enough about search engine optimisation to make sure your stuff appears high up in google when people are searching for things. Go on, go on, go on.
Basic skills mean basic growth. Of anything.
5 – Basic Vector Image manipulation
Yes, I know there’s a lot of technical stuff about images going on here. I took two days away from regular work a couple of years ago in order to improve my vector image skills and it has paid off hugely. The badge ministry at St Mary’s is a direct consequence of this, establishing ethos for the congregation, proclaiming our values to those coming into the building and raising no small amount of money and fun.
Vector image skills means being able to do very basic design work like centering things, putting circles around things, tiling things, using fonts appropriately in larger images.
By the way, you do know that when everyone in Christendom uses an appropriate font for the task in hand then God’s reign of Justice and Joy will be at hand, don’t you?
Become a fontamentalist.
Here in St Mary’s we use heavenly Gentium and we spurn the way of Comic Sans, which leads to the nether parts of hell.
I use inkscape for my vector image work. It is free. Have a go.
6 – Rhetoric 101
There’s no-one in the priestly game who doesn’t need to get up on their hind legs from time to time and persuade people of something. That means either having a natural gift of the gab or working at it to get better. Actually, those who have a natural gift probably work that bit harder because they know it matters.
Speaking clearly is one thing. Knowing when to apply an appropriate bit of assonance, alliteration and anticip———-ation doesn’t just ease the pain for you of speaking in public but it makes life much easier on your audience.
By the by, you might be interested to know that I had 35 minutes of teaching about how to preach a sermon during all of my training. It wasn’t a 35 minutes that was a particularly good 35 minutes either.
7 – Speaking to camera
I think everyone in ministry these days needs to be able to speak to camera about something that matters without hesitation, repetition or deviation. Video killed the radio star but video is the future of the pulpit hopeful.
And whilst we are at it, learn a few video editing skills too.
Not for your sake but for all for Jesus.
He’s worth it.
8 – Learn some mnemonic tricks
Everyone forgets names. Everyone can get better at learning how to remember them.
Rehearse names you need to remember. Write down names you need to remember. Ask people whose names you have forgotten how they think you should remember them. Use your most outrageous visual imagination in order to trick your mind into remembering people. It is one of the reasons God gave you an ability to imagine the absurd.
9 – Cultivating the ability to say “no” nicely.
I’m quite good at saying “no” but we can all learn to try saying so a bit more nicely. For all of us in ministry need to know when to say no. It is a basic skill to be able to decline The Latest Mission Plan (We call them LMPs in the trade), Unwelcome Ecumenical Initiatives (UEIs, obviously), Invitations to Raise Money From Charities who are certain that you need to work for three months to alleviate the plight of Abandoned Gay Puppies in South America etc (sadpuppycamp.com). They all distract from the matter at hand.
So… No. No. No.
Nicely if you can. But no anyway.
10 – Liturgical Skills: Good Baptisms
There’s no greater liturgical skill than baptising someone without making them wail. My top tip here is don’t turn them upside down and make sure they can still see someone they like.
37 responses to “Keeping the faith”
It was an inspiring recitation. Following the English translation in the service sheet provided added insight to the life of Mary. All the more so as the cathedral is dedicated to St Mary. You are reminded of Mary every time you walk into the building with the Gwyneth Leech mural over the High Altar.
Kelvin is quite right. The very self-righteous defenders of the Bible (including the ones who trolled a brave young Muslim woman, for days, with the most vile language, and those who did not reprimand them) totally ignored the Biblical instructions for raising concerns with a brother in faith (Matthew 18:15; 2 Tim 23). Very practical instruction too! As anyone who has ever lived in community can verify. Could all these obsessive men *please* stop trying to divide our communities in Glasgow. We will not be divided. At the first sign of trouble we rush out to embrace one another. These abusers have much to repent of, even if *just* standing by while others throw stones.
I HATE it when the wrong tune is picked for a hymn … it is simply an abomination before God.
However, helping people to think about how we share hospitality, welcome and learn from each other is the WAY of God! Blessings on you Kelvin.
Some reasons why this time was different:
1. The other quaran recitations you mentioned happened at Nine Lessons and Carols, or special ecuminical and interfaith events. While 9L&C was originally a modified Evensong, nowadays it’s usually considered a seasonal community musical recitial with a religious tinge, so having a Muslim from the community recite something from their faith would seem natural enough. Civic and interfaith services will likewise naturally include representatives of every faith in the community. By contrast the Eucharist is the central act of Christian worship and people expect to hear ONLY Christian doctrine proclaimed in the Holy Eucharist. In other words, this was the wrong venue for showing hospitality to Muslim neighbors. You did not intend to practice syncretism, but I think the outcome was syncretic despite your good intentions.
2. Post Brexit (and post Trump) British Muslims are now seen as alien invaders rather than fellow members of the community.
3. Because hostility to Muslims is now fashionable, the Express and rest of the gutter press decided that this was a story worth reporting. Since conservative Americans often read the online editions of the British gutter press, the story then went global.
4. Because you are gay and out, your every action is scrutinized for any possible hint of heresy by GAFCON and Co.
Of all these reasons, only reason #1 is a legitimate criticism, but I hope you do think about criticism #1 as well as defending yourself from other, illegitimate criticisms.
Thank you for your comment Whit J – all the more because it is a thoughtful criticism.
I’ve plenty to reflect on about the how and the when we do things like that and I do hear loudly and clearly that many people think this was an inappropriate context. Though of course, I’d be bound to say that some are saying that the Eucharist is precisely the place indeed there are some saying that is what it is for.
I’m not going to get into a back and forth with all the comments on this post and I’m deliberately not letting through things that have already been said but be assured that I’ve heard the criticism and will reflect on it not simply now but over coming months. (I’ve learned a lot about where God is this week that will take a long time to process). I’m grateful for the way you’ve made your point.
I think there is a good deal in what Whit J says, although I am not sure the effect actually was syncretic. I think one does perhaps have to be a regular worshipper at St Mary’s to understand how totally orthodox the worship there is, and how much Jesus is the focus of worship – how utterly unlikely it is that anyone there would make the mistake of thinking he was not revered by the congregation as a whole as very God from very God. It would be impossible for them not to realise that all the clergy there rejoice in this belief. The congregation saw the words of the Qu’ran in an English translation which portrayed that book’s far-from-easy-to-follow account of Islam’s view of the conception of Jesus, in which there was nothing offensive, and heard a very beautiful voice singing in a strange and glorious language. These were clearly indicated to be the beliefs of another faith. We certainly neither saw or heard or understood any insult to the person of Christ. I am sure none was intended, either. Whereas, and this bears repeating, I am totally sure that many of those commenting (not of course by any means all of them, and nobody whose comments are published here) simply wish harm to relationships between the great faiths in Glasgow.
I have spent my whole adult life in dialogue with people of other religious traditions, it has been deeply rewarding. However I feel that what happened at this service was profoundly wrong. When we are truly ourselves we allow other people to be profoundly themselves. The truth of Christianity is not compatible with any other religion. To avoid that incompatibility is to avoid reality. Worship of Jesus is the fountain of our faith the Qu’ran is opposed to that. I love Jesus and therefore cannot conceive of reading the Qu’ran in an act of worship – no problem doing so in other contexts but not in worship. I am profoundly disturbed that you cannot see this Kelvin.
There are so many things aren’t there, not just around this issue which we hold dear in faith and which we can’t see from another perspective?
I can hear and see that people are upset by this and clearly there are many people not upset by it too. And obviously, at least I hope obviously, I love Jesus too.
The trouble with religious questions and the questions that religious people have I think is that so often that our love for our faith can make it impossible to comprehend others who also claim to love the same faith but who take different views about things. We can hear them claim that love but be intellectually unable to process it because it leads them to different conclusions.
I’ve found the same thing to be true in the sexuality debates very frequently though I perceive that to be changing sometimes now. Similarly with other identity issues and some political issues. Israel/Palestine conversations for example often seem to be conducted (when they are conducted at all) by people who seem to behave like ships passing in the night.
I happen to have views about Church Schools which are pretty intransigent and negative. You are one of the few people, no the only person, who ever made me really think there might be a point of view about them other than mine which might have an integrity I could respect. And I’m very grateful for that.
Kelvin, thank you for your reply. I have enormous respect for you. I have no doubt that church schools can be argued against from perfectly respectable positions. Worship of Jesus is simply a different order, it cannot include a reading from the Qu’ran. Worship is one thing, study, dialogue, relationship something else.
I am really grateful to Richard for the phrase “When we are truly ourselves we allow other people to be profoundly themselves” which reflects my experience of interfacing with sincere people of other faiths. Is a Christian Eucharist a place this should happen? I can understand some Christians feeling it is not, but as long as everything was clearly labelled as what it was and the integrity of the liturgy was intact, I can also understand some feeling it is.
Brother Kelvin,
Although I do not agree with allowing the Koran to be read in our Christian churches, I truly appreciated your firm and resolute stand for the deity of Jesus. He is our great God and Savior and I love Him very much. Blessings from Tennessee.
Just as a perhaps amusing point of reference, the 1982 hymnal of the Episcopal church in the USA has “Brightest and best of the STARS” (caps mine) “of the morning,” apparently so as to avoid offending any daughters who might be present, and the two tunes included are “Morning Star” by James Proctor Harding (1850-1911) and “Star in the East” from The Southern Harmony (1835). The Harding tune was also in the 1940 Hymnal, wherein the word “sons” was still used.
I am not clear as to whether the hospitality at St Mary’s anticipates infinite extension of parallel lines between Islam and the Church in Glasgow. Are you planning some opportunities for Glasgow Muslims to understand the Christian faith and prepare for Baptism and the glorious liberty of regeneration by the Holy Spirit? (In whichever order; no axe about that!) As you move around the Glasgow community and meet more Christians of Islamic background, why not invite such to participate in groups for new Muslim enquirers? The testimony of an ex-Muslim can express vibrantly “How I know He lives” (as your SA brethren would sing). You might find not only new hearts from a divine work of grace among your Muslim neighbours but in other neighbours too. Amen. Inshallah!
There are a small number of people in St Mary’s who are converts from Islam to Christianity just as there are a small number of people in local mosques who are converts from Christianity to Islam.
St Mary’s regularly puts on events and courses for people discovering and exploring Christianity. Most living religions do the same thing.