What is in Kelvin's Head?

The 10 Commandments of Using Images on Church Websites

08/02/2013

1 – Thou shalt remember that a burning candle is not the only image of all that is holy and all that is true.

2 – Thou shalt not put the vulnerable at risk by revealing their identity and location.

3 – Thou shalt remember when using pictures of people that the Lord thy God made them in great and glorious diversity.

4 – Thou shalt not waste bandwidth and so shall learn how to reduce the size of thy photographs tenfold, fiftyfold or even a hundredfold.

5 – Thou shalt not use photographs of church meetings to illustrate the life of the church for to believe that the meetings of the church represent the life and joy that the Lord thy God brings unto thee is to have heard and believed the lies of the Evil One.

6 – Thou shalt not use photographs of groups of people where half the people have their backs unto the camera.

7 – Thou shalt not include more than one photograph of the bishop (or the moderator, the pope or the Lord High Executioner of Titipu) standing around in robes next to other people standing around in robes.

8 – Thou shalt love thy neighbour’s photographs as thine own, by setting up a Flickr group for them to post their images to so that you have a greater range of photographs to use on thy church website.

9 – Thou shalt respect the copyright of every image that thou shalt use and give credit where it is due.

10 – Thou shalt change thine images once in a while for to worship one image alone is not merely idolatry but risks the masses believing that the house of the Lord thy God is dull. And dullness is the sin against the Holy Ghost whereof many have spoken.

Photo Credit: Afonso Lima of Brazil

If you’ve any further commandments – do chip in with them in the comments.Â “Why just 10?” as Moses said as he staggered down the mountain…

church websites, how to use images, web design

8 responses to “Remedy du jour”

Stewart

04/10/2007

I have had Garlic Mash three times in the past week, and Garlic and Horseradish on a steak last night.

I do not have a cold, so maybe it will work for you – or at least act as a preventative when am next at St Mary’s.

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Fiona

04/10/2007

Kelvin, have you tried mulled wine?

Sachets with the mulling spices in them shouldn’t be too hard to get hold of (try Peckhams). They look like little teabags. Add a dash of orange juice, maybe float a slice on top as well. : )

It might not do much for your cold, but at least it’ll help you sleep, which is what you need right now — rest and fluids.

Also worth trying is a Hot Toddy.

Hope you feel better soon.

~Fiona.

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Roddy

05/10/2007

Garlic’s not a bad idea. I’ve always found if I have a hot, garlic soaked, curry when I’ve got the lurgy I feel better.

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asphodeline

05/10/2007

What you need is a hot curry followed by a hot bath!

This man cold of yours is lingering on a bit or are you “milking” this illness??!!

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Andrew

05/10/2007

What is a man cold? Don’t women get them too?

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kelvin

05/10/2007

It seems to be a widely held view amongst women that men make much of their sufferings when they get a cold.

There is an urban dictionary definition here.

There are some who say that the female equivalent of a mancold is the flu, but I could not possibly comment.

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kelvin

05/10/2007

If Ms Asphodeline is fed up of hearing about my poor state of health, presumably it will be quite a while before we hear anything about her own on livejournal.

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asphodeline

07/10/2007

Haha, you know I’ll probably get the office lurgy now?!

I hope you feel better soon. There’s nothing worse than a man ~~with a~~ cold

x

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