What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • 25 More Questions for people who want to make their churches grow

    A lot of people seem to have been sharing my 25 Questions for people who want to make their churches grow on social media.

    So, here’s 25 more…

    1. If you didn’t have to go to your church on Sunday would you still go?
    2. Are the clergy happy?
    3. Are the musicians happy?
    4. Does the congregation have a stronger ethos than that of its denomination?
    5. What one thing could you change this week to make the worship better?
    6. Why didn’t you make that change last week?
    7. What steps are you taking to make the phrase “All are Welcome” come true?
    8. Do you do church business on a Sunday after church or is there a better time for that?
    9. In the next month are you more likely to spend time on ecumenical activities or church growth activities?
    10. Do people who leave become ex-members who have disappeared or do they still contribute to the life and ministry of the place?
    11. What is the noticeboard like?
    12. What is the first thing you see when you come through the door?
    13. Did you implement the recommendations of the last “mystery worshipper” you asked to give you a candid assessment?
    14. Which church events in the next six months will be newsworthy locally?
    15. Which church events in the next six months will be reported in the local media?
    16. Do you have enough staff and who decides this?
    17. What would your clergy really like to do that they can’t because of the laity?
    18. What would your laity really like to do that they can’t because of the clergy?
    19. Which would attract young families more – a bible-based week long summer activity for children or letting it be known that gay people are welcome in your church?
    20. Can you email those members of your congregation who want to receive regular updates?
    21. Do you email those members of your congregatio who want to receve regular updates?
    22. Has someone done the work required to make sure emails sent to large numbers of people don’t end up in spam boxes?
    23. Who in the congregation has gifts that could be better used doing a different job in the congregation than what they are currently doing?
    24. Who is your volunteer co-ordinator and is it obvious how to contact them?
    25. Can you volunteer without being a member of the church?

6 responses to “Tales of the City”

  1. Kimberly Avatar
    Kimberly

    Your move next, then.

    Can I suggest a bottle of spirit vinegar in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other? He should soon realize that the windows are not nearly as discerning as his neighbor.

    Reply
  2. Rev Ruth Avatar
    Rev Ruth

    I reckon he’s been watching too much Kim & Aggie. You watch, he’ll be back for lemon juice next. Altho Lord knows what he’ll be wearing if that’s what he wears for cleaning windows.

    Reply
  3. kelvin Avatar
    kelvin

    Fortunately, I’ve plenty of lemon juice to offer him if he comes back. Though if he had been watching Kim and Aggie, would he not have been attired in rubber gloves with feather trim? Did he remove them before coming upstairs? (If so, he should not have bothered).

    When I think about it, the fact that I live in the land of 24 hour vinegar emporia makes this little episode all the more strange.

    The presumption of commenters above is that this is the start of something. I had thought myself that this was a relationship that had been formed, blossomed and was completed within the space of the dialogue reported, but perhaps I am wrong.

    Reply
  4. Roddy Avatar
    Roddy

    You know you’re in the West End of Glasgow when the residents clean their windows with wine vinegar…

    Reply
  5. kelvin Avatar
    kelvin

    Thanks for the social commentary Roddy. Perhaps I should have offered him balsamic. I never thought at the time.

    There have been soap-operas and novels made out of less promising material than this.

    Reply
  6. Avatar
    Anonymous

    this is so much better than the nescafe gold blend ads. looking forward to the next episode!

    Reply

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