What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • The 10 Commandments of Using Images on Church Websites

    old camera photograph1 – Thou shalt remember that a burning candle is not the only image of all that is holy and all that is true.

    2 – Thou shalt not put the vulnerable at risk by revealing their identity and location.

    3 – Thou shalt remember when using pictures of people that the Lord thy God made them in great and glorious diversity.

    4 – Thou shalt not waste bandwidth and so shall learn how to reduce the size of thy photographs tenfold, fiftyfold or even a hundredfold.

    5 – Thou shalt not use photographs of church meetings to illustrate the life of the church for to believe that the meetings of the church represent the life and joy that the Lord thy God brings unto thee is to have heard and believed the lies of the Evil One.

    6 – Thou shalt not use photographs of groups of people where half the people have their backs unto the camera.

    7 – Thou shalt not include more than one photograph of the bishop (or the moderator, the pope or the Lord High Executioner of Titipu) standing around in robes next to other people standing around in robes.

    8 – Thou shalt love thy neighbour’s photographs as thine own, by setting up a Flickr group for them to post their images to so that you have a greater range of photographs to use on thy church website.

    9 – Thou shalt respect the copyright of every image that thou shalt use and give credit where it is due.

    10 – Thou shalt change thine images once in a while for to worship one image alone is not merely idolatry but risks the masses believing that the house of the Lord thy God is dull. And dullness is the sin against the Holy Ghost whereof many have spoken.

    Photo Credit: Afonso Lima of Brazil

    If you’ve any further commandments – do chip in with them in the comments.  “Why just 10?” as Moses said as he staggered down the mountain…

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19 responses to “Back to work”

  1. Kimberly Avatar
    Kimberly

    I’ve been trying to get the last line of each verse to scan better in the absence of the ‘O’ (which is hidden in the vocative, but well hidden indeed since deus is an irregular vocative…)

    perhaps,

    care deus, cum ba ia — ?

    Reply
  2. Zebadee Avatar
    Zebadee

    Kimberley,

    The time spent feeding you all those fudge doughnuts was certainly not wasted

    Reply
  3. Moyra Avatar
    Moyra

    How did we get from Kum by Yah, or even Cum ba ia, to fudge doughnuts?

    Reply
  4. Kimberly Avatar
    Kimberly

    Moyra, you have to realise that fudge doughnuts are Zebadee’s equivalent of Mornington Crescent. With enough ingenuity, a link is always possible.

    (It’s a St Andrews thing…)

    Reply
  5. Moyra Avatar
    Moyra

    I understand….

    Reply
  6. Sarah SSM Avatar
    Sarah SSM

    I’m sure that there is something holy about fudge doughnuts. Holey, anyway. Come by here, my Lord, we have fudge doughnuts?

    Unfortunately, I live in a convent not sufficiently hol(e)y to have them. Too bad. Nor do we have cum ba ia around a candle, but perhaps Compline counts? I’ll suggest to our Superior that we do cum ba ia for our Compline hymn Tuesday. I’m sure she’d be thrilled (Kimberly can comment on that, I’m sure, as they are acquainted).

    I’m sure someone could come up with an appropriate analysis of cum ba ia from a hermeneutic related to fudge donuts and liberation theology…

    Reply
  7. kelvin Avatar
    kelvin

    personally, I’m not sure that I have ever tasted a fudge doughnut. I’ m sure I have no idea what you are all talking about.

    Reply
  8. Kimberly Avatar
    Kimberly

    No, Kelvin. You have never bought a fudge doughnut. That’s not the same thing.

    Reply
  9. Kelvin Avatar
    Kelvin

    Ah.

    Reply

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