What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • Tales of the City – February 2020

    On the way home from the opera I step into a shop to get out of the rain, and buy something to eat against the cold – a late-night post-operatic chittery-bite.

    In front of me are two young men dressed in much less than I am. They are the worse for wear and arguing.

    Drunk Young Man #1: Well we’ll ask someone else then.

    Drunk Young Man #2:     Yes! Someone neutral.

    They turn to me.

    DYM#1: Here man. Settle an arugment for us will you. Is coronavirus real or is it propoganda

    Self: I think it is real.

    DYM#2: Aye man. Told you. It *is* real. He said so. Here, I bet you do a very responsible job

    DYM#1:     Aye very responsible. What are you man?

    I hesitate a moment and consider how to answer.

    DYM#2: I bet he’s a Supply Chain Manager. Are you a Supply Chain Manager, man?

    I smile a smile that I hope will look like the smile of a cold wet Supply Chain Manager.

    DYM#2: I knew it.

    DYM#1: Hey, do you have a lighter?

    I shake my head.

    We are all forlorn that I do not have a lighter.

8 responses to “Bah”

  1. vicky Avatar
    vicky

    Kelvin
    This calls for Chicken stew (with lots of garlic, ginger and sweetcorn). If you’re too sick to make it – let me know and I’ll sort out a delivery for Sunday.

    Reply
  2. Stewart Avatar
    Stewart

    ….surely this should be followed by “Humbug”

    You can also suck one help sooth your throat.

    Reply
  3. Raspberry Rabbit Avatar
    Raspberry Rabbit

    A mixture of honey, lemon juice and ground ginger – mix it up thick like a syrup. Don’t scrimp on the ginger.

    Reply
  4. David Avatar
    David

    I know Kelvin, but not about what potions to take, only that it has taken me about 10 days to get fully better from the same thing! Sorry to bring such good news!

    Reply
  5. Andrew Avatar
    Andrew

    I recommend a large hot toddy made with honey, lemon juice and plenty of whisky. It doesn’t do you any good but it makes you feel better!

    Reply
  6. Roddy Avatar
    Roddy

    The malt whisky and floating hat cure works best of all.

    You go to bed, put a hat on the bedpost at the foot of the bed and drink the whisky until the hat starts floating around the room…

    I often feel a hangover is better than a cold as you’ve done something you enjoy to deserve it

    Reply
  7. PamB Avatar
    PamB

    Does a floating biretta have the same effect?

    (Don’t tell me – only when it’s snowing)

    Reply
  8. Moyra Avatar
    Moyra

    Well, if it’s the same bug I’m convinced I caught whilst in Glasgow at the end of last month, you have my deepest sympathy.

    Reply

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