• How would you teach me to pray?

    Popping into a church today I was reminded of a question someone asked me a few weeks ago.

    The church was somewhere that I happened to be passing. Somewhere a little off the beaten track in the middle of the bustle of a city. Not a particularly well known church but a known place to me. A place I’ve dropped into in passing quite a few times in the past.

    It is a busy church – there always seems to be people popping in and bowing their heads. As they do so they find themselves sharing the space with a number of folk who obviously have nowhere else to go. Some seem to have carried in all they own with them. Some fall asleep. It is a place where devotion and need seem all jumbled up and you can’t always tell who is actively trying to pray and who just needs shelter. And you can’t always tell the difference anyway I’ve found.

    It is a place where prayer has often just seemed to happen in an easy, matter of fact way.

    I don’t particularly subscribe to the idea that there are “thin” places where God is easy to meet. People often describe Iona like that and speak of thin places as though that’s an old Celtic idea. In fact, the old Celts themselves seem to have been rather more robust than modern pilgrims – praying the psalms whilst up to their oxters in chilly Atlantic waters of a morning. And in any case, the whole ethos of the Iona Community seems to me to suggest that God is to be just as knowable in Govan as on a rocky crag on the edge of the world.

    But still, the sense of place this afternoon stilled me somehow. I was in a place that had been well prayed in, there were some beautiful things in an otherwise ordinary space and it was possible to just rest in the presence of God and to love being loved.

    And it made me think of that question that someone asked me recently – “if I were to ask you to help me learn how to pray, what would you say?”

    My response at the time was that I’d probably ask a few questions and listen a lot before saying very much. The truth is, there isn’t just one forumula for praying that works. God lurks in the world, as Bishop Gregor has often said to me. And that lurking God longs to be known in ways that won’t be tied down to a method or a protocol.

    If I was trying to help you to pray, I’d be asking some of the following questions…

    What rhythms do you already have in life?

    Do words or pictures move you most?

    Does stillness come easily or do you need a routine in order to relax?

    What ways of prayer have you already tried?

    Have you any experience of meditation?

    What gives you joy?

    What gives you peace?

    What are you thankful for and do you have ways of expressing that thankfulness?

    I’d be trying to find out whether you found it easy to think about stories, or characters or concepts.

    All these questions would be helpful in trying to find a few ways of praying that would be worth building into habits. Things that we can just do without thinking too much about them.

    I don’t always find prayer that easy. And when I’m not finding it easy I’ve learned that it isn’t worth beating yourself up about it.

    The world is no less enflamed with the presence of God just because I feel fidgety.

    At times like that, doing something I’ve done a thousand times might be all I can do. Breathing and being concious of my breath. Using well worn words and wearing them a bit more. Reminding myself that wanting to pray is the first honest prayer many of us manage.

    And then the times come, like this afternoon in a church I rarely see when different things come together and love is all there is.

    I don’t know how long I was there. Twenty minutes or so. Maybe half an hour. In that time, there’s things I remember.

    • Being thankful for the gifts and skills and maturity and loveliness of someone I’ve seen this week for the first time in years.
    • Seeing an image of a biblical character and being taken straight in my head to a passage of scripture that came up at morning prayer recently. As I thought about the passage, it seemed to link with my own current experience.
    • Hearing the snores and murmurs of those scattered around the place and knowing that the prayers and actions of those who act and pray are still needed as we work to help the whole world live the magnificat.
    • And the light. And the stillness. And the peace.

    I think that the question – “How would you teach me to pray?” is a wonderful one. Like all good questions, it begs more questions and there’s no one answer anyway.

    It is a question that most priests I know would like to be asked more often. It is a question that many lay people would give a better answer to than many clergy.

    I’d be a bit wary of anyone who said that prayer was either always easy. Or always impossible.

    I’d love to hear it asked and would love to hear it answered more often than I do.

10 responses to “Blogging”

  1. Lisa Avatar

    First, let me argue that Bishop Paul Marshall — who wrote that letter you cite — is not one of the great liberals of the Episcopal Church in the U.S. He is widely respected and regarded as a moderate. What he wrote in that letter is a frustration that many of us share: Why can the Archbishop meet privately with the most extreme conservatives of the Episcopal Church in the U.S., but consistently refuses to meet with our bishops assembled? I think that is a fair and valid question. I would urge folks to read Bishop Marshall’s whole letter and not just Ruth Gledhill’s biased “gloss” on it.

    I agree the overall tenor of dialogue on U.S. Episcopalians’ blogs is worrisome. But I do not believe it’s the “liberals” that have gone out of bounds. If you want to read true venom, go to Virtue Online or StandFirm.

  2. David Avatar

    It would be great to have a meet up and blether!

  3. kelvin Avatar
    kelvin

    Thanks for the comments

    Lisa – it was precisely standfirm and virtueonline that I had in mind.

    You’re presuming that I don’t have sympathy for Paul Marshall. I have a great deal of sympathy for his position. I think he is angry. And I think he is right to be angry. I deliberately linked directly to his piece rather than Ruth Gledhill’s stuff about it, which people can find for themselves.

    Perhaps if I had written “Those of us with strong liberal convictions…” my own position would have been clearer.

  4. Tim Avatar

    Sociability good. (And arguably good for online interactions too – there are several notable folks whose adventures I read, whom I could happily put in a room together with a football and lock the door 😉

  5. Frank Avatar
    Frank

    There comes a time to toss convention and start communicating. I have a tea party in mind.

    cheers

  6. Raspberry Rabbit Avatar

    Kelvin, I think the whole blogging machine on the right in the U.S. has been set up for a good long while now. They’ve become proficient at it – the ‘blog storm’ if you like which sees itself quite self consciously as ‘generating’ public opinion for particular ends. The amount of support which ‘social conservatives’ will lend to religious conservatives as ‘deserving cousins’ allows those involved in the present TEC dispute access to an immense network.

    I agree with the first comment about Bishop Marshall being middle of the road and not particularly liberal.

  7. Raspberry Rabbit Avatar

    Oh and with respect to SEC bloggers. A meeting might be a good idea

  8. Dennis Avatar
    Dennis

    Kevin: Just discovered your blog through MadPriest’s blog. I’ll add you to my regular visits.

    It is exciting for me, an American far away from the Episcopal Church of Scotland, since I was confirmed at St Mary’s Glasgow back on Pentecost Sunday in 1988 – your church is where I became an Episcopalian – Fr John Turner was the chaplain at GU. Fr Malcolm was provost.

    How exciting. Glad to find your blog.

    Dennis

    The world of political blogs in the US isn’t really that bad. The most important blog in the US for political progressives is DailyKos (www.dailykos.com) – I’m over there quite a lot – worth watching – it has a lot of voice and influence in the US Democratic party for supporting and raising money for underdog candidates last year who happened to win.

  9. Dennis Avatar
    Dennis

    make that Kelvin, not Kevin. sorry about that!

  10. Lisa Avatar

    I’ve corresponded privately with Kelvin about this, but let me make a few comments here in public.

    I usually have to do my reading and writing on “things Anglican” after a full day at work. I regret to say that means I am sometimes too tired, and I miss the nuances. Which clearly happened in my public reply here. I apologize for that, and I apologize for making unwarranted assumptions about Kelvin’s stance.

    One of the things I am realizing is that we in the Anglican Communion really do not understand enough about each other’s cultures and ethos. Over here in the U.S., we are very much hoping that the churches in the U.K. (and a few other provinces) will allow us to “work out our salvation with fear and trembling,” as St. Paul urged. I fear that our colonial past [of which most U.S. Episcopalians repent most sincerely] is working against us. We do not want to “export” our positions to others in the Communion; we don’t want to tell others they must do as we have done. We simply want the space in which to walk the path that seems right to us — and that path already has a 30-year history of prayerful discernment, both about the place of women in ordained ministry and about the place of gay men and lesbians in the Church and ordination.

    Unfortunately, in the larger U.S. culture now, both “liberal” and “moderate” are anathema. A very scary conservativism (verging on — dare I use the term? — fascism) is taking hold.

    When folks say the Episcopal Church is “bowing to popular culture,” they could not possibly be more wrong. “Popular culture” now in the U.S. is strongly capitalist, imperialist, nationalist, sexist, and anti-gay. Our church is “bucking” that tide, and we are paying a great price for what we truly believe to be a Spirit-led, prophetic witness.

    It remains to be seen whether others in the Anglican Communion will trust us to continue in this time of discernment.

    These are very, very hard times for all of us. And I hate how the positions are being polarized.

    At our church’s General Convention [Do you call it a synod?], several people spoke about how the “diverse center” had spoken. I hope and pray that the “diverse center” will find their voices in Tanzania.

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