What is in Kelvin's Head?

10 Correct Opinions About Christmas Carols

27/12/2018
Public service announcement.

The following opinions are all correct.
1. The first carol on Christmas Day should always be Christians Awake Salute the Happy Morn. It should be sung lustily and with the last line repeated.
2. While Shepherds Watched Their Flocks By Night may be sung to almost any tune. It must not, however, be sung to the tune Winchester Old
  - Acceptable tunes shall include:
    
    Liverpool
    
    Glasgow
    
    Lyngham
    
    Old Foster
    
    Sweet Chiming Christmas Bells
    
    Cranbrook – This may only be used once in every decade in any one place. There’s a limit to how entertaining it is.
3. The best carol of all is It Came Upon the Midnight Clear and it must be sung to the tune Noel by Arthur Sullivan. There are many things in which the US based Episcopal Church is correct but it is incorrect in its choice of tune for this carol. It may also be sung at Michaelmas. The incorrect words “It Came upon a midnight clear” are anathema. They have as much place in the Christian faith as Sundays before Advent or Sundays before Lent – ie none whatsoever.
4. Jingle Bells is not a carol.
5. The carol Of the Father’s Love Begotten may be sung at any time from Advent Sunday until the Feast of Candlemas. It must only be sung to the words agreed by Mr Frikki Walker and myself. The verse about seer and sybyl must always be included as it is both profound and reminds us all of Sybil Fawlty. I have every intention of broadcasting this carol unto the nation at the earliest opportunity so that everyone else may copy the St Mary’s version of the words.
6. 10 points may be claimed for anyone spotting a heresy in any carol. A bonus of 50 points is awarded to anyone who can come up with a heresy-free version that people will enjoy singing.
  - Your starter for 10 is “Veiled in flesh the Godhead see” which sounds like Docetism to me.
7. Anyone claiming that carols should be sung “in the original version” shall be required to sing Hark How All The Welkin Rings at the next carol service they are at and will then be required to explain to everyone at the door what a welkin is.
8. In the Bleak Midwinter may be sung, even though Jesus probably was not born amidst snow. However, it may only be sung by a good choir singing the Harold Darke version.
9. O Come All Ye Faithful is a Jacobite rallying call and is most proper for Scottish Episcopalians to sing.
10. Christmas cake should be eaten with cheese and not marzipan and icing.
Thank you for your attention.
Christmas carols

8 responses to “Easter Sermon 2016”

Julia

27/03/2016

God’s here with us all the time. If he rises or not, He’s always with us anyway.

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Bro David

27/03/2016

2017?

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1. Kelvin
  
  27/03/2016
  
  Thanks David – edited now. I don’t know how that happened.
  
  Reply
Meg Rosenfeld

27/03/2016

Cheer up. At least you don’t have to walk all the way to Emmaeus this afternoon and then run all the way back to Jerusalem. Wonder and amazement can be pretty exhausting, but they’re well worth the stress.

The Lord is risen! Alleluia!

Reply
Keith Barber

28/03/2016

I can only see as far as the beginning of the reference to Brussels… hope the Border hasn’t been closed to Kelvin’s thoughts!

Reply
1. Kelvin
  
  28/03/2016
  
  Should be sorted now.
  
  Reply
  1. Keith Barber
    
    04/04/2016
    
    Thank you… inspiring as always.
    
    Reply
Alex Staton

29/03/2016

Hi Kelvin, thanks for posting this – particularly since I hadn’t the stamina for the 10.30 service after the Vigil. I could blame ‘that Graeme’ as my mother calls my partner in reluctant recognition he’s here to stay 😂. You’ll be knackered. I hope you managed to relax this week without needing to console yourself with too many pickled eggs.

Last week certainly saw more than its fair share of tragedy. Unfortunately we’ve become somewhat used to terrorist attacks. I think many in both the Muslim and wider community found Mr Shah’s murder in particular absolutely devastating. It’s difficult to see how to make sense of it or to see how the message of Easter speaks to such wickedness and tragedy. I found the points you made at the end of your sermon encouraging. Christ is risen in the lives of those that bring to love of Christ where hatred is present, challenging the prejudice, working for interfaith initiatives, supporting the marginalised.

I was interested in your earlier comments and the turn of phrase you use. I think I know what you’re getting and I uderstand the sentiment behind the words it is easy to believe Christ will never rise from the dead. Im sure that was the experience of the disciples on that first Good Friday. Still, could you say a little more about why you use the future tense throughout the first part of your sermon.

Best

Alex

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