What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • Liturgical news

    Here is the liturgical news from St Mary’s Cathedral, Glasgow yesterday.

    • The Provost announced during morning service that the church is responsible for far too much condemnation in the world and far too few blessings. He and the Vice Provost then went on to offer the ancient Blessing of the Throats traditionally performed by holding candles to the throats of the faithful on St Blaise’s Day. About 45 members of the congregation had their throats blessed.
    • There have been no outbreaks of any diseases of the throat since yesterday.
    • The Provost turned into a flailing jellyfish at two points during yesterday’s mass. The first was the result of him seeing the gospel procession going past him and on down the aisle before he had woken up to the fact that he was the deacon and due to read the gospel. The second was when he tried to retrieve and consume a fallen host during communion. This resulted in a manoeuvre that is known as being Slain in the Spirit amongst low church people and known as falling Amice over Tippet by high church people.
    • The Provost was dismayed at the end of the mass to have it pointed out to him that the mass may not have been valid as he was wearing his stole in the manner of a priest rather than in the manner of a deacon.
    • The Provost then used the fact that his stole was the wrong way round to justify the fact that he had forgotten to follow the gospel procession earlier in the service.
    • Black shoes were worn throughout.

8 responses to “Easter Sermon 2016”

  1. Julia Avatar
    Julia

    God’s here with us all the time. If he rises or not, He’s always with us anyway.

    Reply
  2. Bro David Avatar
    Bro David

    2017?

    Reply
    1. Kelvin Avatar
      Kelvin

      Thanks David – edited now. I don’t know how that happened.

      Reply
  3. Meg Rosenfeld Avatar
    Meg Rosenfeld

    Cheer up. At least you don’t have to walk all the way to Emmaeus this afternoon and then run all the way back to Jerusalem. Wonder and amazement can be pretty exhausting, but they’re well worth the stress.

    The Lord is risen! Alleluia!

    Reply
  4. Keith Barber Avatar
    Keith Barber

    I can only see as far as the beginning of the reference to Brussels… hope the Border hasn’t been closed to Kelvin’s thoughts!

    Reply
    1. Kelvin Avatar
      Kelvin

      Should be sorted now.

      Reply
      1. Keith Barber Avatar
        Keith Barber

        Thank you… inspiring as always.

        Reply
  5. Alex Staton Avatar
    Alex Staton

    Hi Kelvin, thanks for posting this – particularly since I hadn’t the stamina for the 10.30 service after the Vigil. I could blame ‘that Graeme’ as my mother calls my partner in reluctant recognition he’s here to stay 😂. You’ll be knackered. I hope you managed to relax this week without needing to console yourself with too many pickled eggs.

    Last week certainly saw more than its fair share of tragedy. Unfortunately we’ve become somewhat used to terrorist attacks. I think many in both the Muslim and wider community found Mr Shah’s murder in particular absolutely devastating. It’s difficult to see how to make sense of it or to see how the message of Easter speaks to such wickedness and tragedy. I found the points you made at the end of your sermon encouraging. Christ is risen in the lives of those that bring to love of Christ where hatred is present, challenging the prejudice, working for interfaith initiatives, supporting the marginalised.

    I was interested in your earlier comments and the turn of phrase you use. I think I know what you’re getting and I uderstand the sentiment behind the words it is easy to believe Christ will never rise from the dead. Im sure that was the experience of the disciples on that first Good Friday. Still, could you say a little more about why you use the future tense throughout the first part of your sermon.

    Best

    Alex

    Reply

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