What is in Kelvin's Head?

Dear Tom

03/12/2013

Dear Tom

Like so many people I saw your video yesterday. Within minutes of you posting it, it was appearing in my twitter stream along with loads of messages supporting you. Then you started to appear on the news and the radio and no doubt your picture will be in the press this morning on many a front page.

And all because you said you are in a relationship and had found happiness with another man.

My first response was to hope that you can carve out a bit of privacy to enjoy being with someone who makes you happy.

My second response was to think how lucky other young people are that people like you are around these days. I remember a time when no-one talked about these things at all. Even though sometimes it seems a bit over the top these days, and I bet you wish everyone would leave you alone to mind your own business at the moment, trust me, these are better times than when I was young. In those days no-one talked about these things in public. Or at least if they did say anything they didn’t say anthing terribly helpful or kind. To see so many lovely messages sent to you in the last day warms my heart no end and makes me realise that we’ve managed to build a better world. I know it must be intrustive – forgive me though whilst I appreciate this moment when a happy-looking young man’s relationship with another man is headline news for all the right reasons and not a bunch of nasty reasons. I never thought I would see such a day.

When I was your age there was something new to think about too – AIDS was hitting the public consciousness in a very new and very scary way when I was 19. I was just at college and hearing a pretty stark and shocking message – that loving someone might kill me. It was not a great time to be learning about life.

Sadly, it is the case that HIV is rising again amongst people of your age and the health campaigns are not terribly focused now.

What you’ve done in coming out about your relationship will be hugely significant for lots of people. Hopefully in being honest about who you are you will inspire others to do the same. Honesty is one of the keys to making the world a safer place.

There’s a load of nonsense being talked about labels today – people are saying you are gay because of your statement and others are arguing that you are bisexual and then bickering amongst themselves about what that means. Take no notice of any of it but take some time to work out what it means for you to be whole.

There are so few people in same-sex relationships in the sports world who find themselves able to be honest and that’s what makes your video so significant. It will inspire people. It will also sadly enrage a few people but thankfully far fewer than ever there were before. Any prejudice against you will be exposed for what it is and be widely condemned. You are helping to build a world where such actions become ever less acceptable – and thank you for joining in that struggle.

Even though you probably think that there’s no-one left in the world now who doesn’t know about what you’ve said, you’ll probably find that you end up remembering this moment throughout your life as it is repeated in smaller and less public ways. I came out very publicly (in the pulpit rather than on youtube!) and I know how often I still find myself coming out all over again, even to people who “know”. In some ways, it lasts a lifetime and I never understood that when I was first starting to talk about my own sexuality in public. Be strong and take each day as it comes. People are excited for you because they can see so many wonderful opportunities that could lie ahead for you and we’ve not had that many role models like you. But don’t get hung up on being a role model – just enjoy life, live well and work hard at your sport.

Stay safe and encourage others to be. Stay grounded too and find your own place in the world to stand. And enjoy this time. Enjoy being with someone who makes you happy. Heaven knows, you need someone who can support you in amongst all this hullabaloo.

You are loved by thousands. And you are also loved by one particular someone.

Good wishes to both of you amidst all the media circus.
KELVIN

coming out, Tom Daley

10 responses to “Liturgical Notes – as given to the servers this morning”

Moyra

07/08/2006

So what really happened?
you can’t leave me in suspense like that…. Did any of it go according to plan?

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Anonymous

07/08/2006

What really happened

Well, Fr Bishop did not really turn up with enough time to spare to be accorded the offer to celebrate. He did make it into the pulpit in time for the sermon. Just.

So, we had a Presiding Minister and Sub-deacon. Not quite a High Mass, more Gas Mark 5.

Excellent control of the thurible.

No amount of bowing to the offertory procession or censing them would make them go away. Perhaps someone was supposed to do something else to them, but I sure don’t know what they were waiting for. Perhaps someone will tell me in the week.

Offertory elements arrived nearer verse 4 of the hymn than verse 1.

Presiding Muggins ended up flitting out with the vessels to St Anne’s chapel.

And a good time was had by all.

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Pamela

07/08/2006

I wish I’d been able to get out my bed in time for yesterdays service – I love it when the incense is used.

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Vicky

07/08/2006

chaos what chaos?
apart from the late Bish and the sneaky switching on of his mike, I was blissfully unaware of the chaos at the altar……isn’t it always like that? Just think yourselves lucky you don’t have to accurately time the ringing of bells and the ‘donging’ of dongs which, if inappropriately done, can throw transubstantiation into reversal…..

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Brannon Hancock

07/08/2006

didn’t notice
I didn’t notice a thing. (Well, except the tardy homilist.) ‘course, sitting out w/ the congregation, my eye misses a lot of that I’d probably notice were I with the choir in our normal place. For instance, with the Bishop at the “big pulpit,” I couldn’t see him at all from where I was sitting. In fact, it took me about 25 seconds to figure out where the strange disembodied voice was coming from…

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Anonymous

07/08/2006

Servers and Sight Lines

Oh, there was no chaos at the altar – the servers served impeccably. It is the mark of good serving that no-one should know that things were not quite going to plan.

As for seeing the Bishop – one of the things I’ve been giving a lot of thought to is the sightlines in the Cathedral which are pretty terrible. There is no perfect place to preach from or to celebrate at which will enable everyone in the pews to see. At one time in the life of the church people were charged pew rents – higher rent for seats you could see from.

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Elizabeth Anderson

09/08/2006

sight lines
True enough re sightlines. As someone who regularly sits in south side pews – I’ve figured out exactly where to sit in the pew so that the offending pillar is between altar and eagle – so I could see preacher and celebrant. Which is extremely selfish becuase it means whoever else is in the pew (usually James) can’t see.

I thought the preaching from the centre, in front of the altar – most visible – and not so far away from congregation as ‘voice from the sky’pulpit – is best option so far.

As for incense – not a wiff reached said south aisle. But I suppose for it to permeate to back of church would involve overwhelming those front and centre.

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Anonymous

09/08/2006

Sight Lines from the North Aisle
As a someone who regularly sits in the North Aisle, I can see most of what goes on except when the pulpit is being used. On those occaisions, moving tot he other end of the pew gives me a view of the pulpit around the north side of the organ console.

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Elizabeth Anderson

11/08/2006

Hmmmm
I feel like great amusement could be had by all with coloured yarn connecting various bits of the Cathedral. Green for the pulpit, red for the altar, blue for the lectern – stretching around the pillars, organ console . . .

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Mysterious stranger

14/08/2006

Mystery to me
As someone who has just about mastered morning prayers the above just remains a complete mystery to me.I like the idea of the yarn though.

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