• How would you teach me to pray?

    Popping into a church today I was reminded of a question someone asked me a few weeks ago.

    The church was somewhere that I happened to be passing. Somewhere a little off the beaten track in the middle of the bustle of a city. Not a particularly well known church but a known place to me. A place I’ve dropped into in passing quite a few times in the past.

    It is a busy church – there always seems to be people popping in and bowing their heads. As they do so they find themselves sharing the space with a number of folk who obviously have nowhere else to go. Some seem to have carried in all they own with them. Some fall asleep. It is a place where devotion and need seem all jumbled up and you can’t always tell who is actively trying to pray and who just needs shelter. And you can’t always tell the difference anyway I’ve found.

    It is a place where prayer has often just seemed to happen in an easy, matter of fact way.

    I don’t particularly subscribe to the idea that there are “thin” places where God is easy to meet. People often describe Iona like that and speak of thin places as though that’s an old Celtic idea. In fact, the old Celts themselves seem to have been rather more robust than modern pilgrims – praying the psalms whilst up to their oxters in chilly Atlantic waters of a morning. And in any case, the whole ethos of the Iona Community seems to me to suggest that God is to be just as knowable in Govan as on a rocky crag on the edge of the world.

    But still, the sense of place this afternoon stilled me somehow. I was in a place that had been well prayed in, there were some beautiful things in an otherwise ordinary space and it was possible to just rest in the presence of God and to love being loved.

    And it made me think of that question that someone asked me recently – “if I were to ask you to help me learn how to pray, what would you say?”

    My response at the time was that I’d probably ask a few questions and listen a lot before saying very much. The truth is, there isn’t just one forumula for praying that works. God lurks in the world, as Bishop Gregor has often said to me. And that lurking God longs to be known in ways that won’t be tied down to a method or a protocol.

    If I was trying to help you to pray, I’d be asking some of the following questions…

    What rhythms do you already have in life?

    Do words or pictures move you most?

    Does stillness come easily or do you need a routine in order to relax?

    What ways of prayer have you already tried?

    Have you any experience of meditation?

    What gives you joy?

    What gives you peace?

    What are you thankful for and do you have ways of expressing that thankfulness?

    I’d be trying to find out whether you found it easy to think about stories, or characters or concepts.

    All these questions would be helpful in trying to find a few ways of praying that would be worth building into habits. Things that we can just do without thinking too much about them.

    I don’t always find prayer that easy. And when I’m not finding it easy I’ve learned that it isn’t worth beating yourself up about it.

    The world is no less enflamed with the presence of God just because I feel fidgety.

    At times like that, doing something I’ve done a thousand times might be all I can do. Breathing and being concious of my breath. Using well worn words and wearing them a bit more. Reminding myself that wanting to pray is the first honest prayer many of us manage.

    And then the times come, like this afternoon in a church I rarely see when different things come together and love is all there is.

    I don’t know how long I was there. Twenty minutes or so. Maybe half an hour. In that time, there’s things I remember.

    • Being thankful for the gifts and skills and maturity and loveliness of someone I’ve seen this week for the first time in years.
    • Seeing an image of a biblical character and being taken straight in my head to a passage of scripture that came up at morning prayer recently. As I thought about the passage, it seemed to link with my own current experience.
    • Hearing the snores and murmurs of those scattered around the place and knowing that the prayers and actions of those who act and pray are still needed as we work to help the whole world live the magnificat.
    • And the light. And the stillness. And the peace.

    I think that the question – “How would you teach me to pray?” is a wonderful one. Like all good questions, it begs more questions and there’s no one answer anyway.

    It is a question that most priests I know would like to be asked more often. It is a question that many lay people would give a better answer to than many clergy.

    I’d be a bit wary of anyone who said that prayer was either always easy. Or always impossible.

    I’d love to hear it asked and would love to hear it answered more often than I do.

4 responses to “Retreat”

  1. Carole Avatar
    Carole

    Retreat
    Interesting choice of theme for the Advent retreat.
    Mary Magdelen was of course know to be an energetic, implusive and caring woman. Quite a dream really.

    Unusual combination of food stuffs lentils and banana, anyway.

  2.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    Retreat

    Just struck by the coincidence that you and I were on retreat at the same time.  While you were considering the place of Mary Magdalene I was being led to listen more deeply to my dreams.  Through a process of table fellowship and sharing I came to find much meaning in what seemed like a completely random collection of items which regularly arise during the silent hours of the night:  medical pots; gas masks; military apparel; a purple stole; a half-mauled rabbit; a friendly ghost and a bottle of single malt.  I was really appreciative of my fellow retreatants one of whom, realising it was my first time, was very gentle with me and showed me the ropes.  The other, the slightly more talkative of the two, showed a persistent yet Liberal interest in delving deeper into my darkest recesses to see what might come up. If your retreat was anything like as rich as mine you should have enough to chew upon for a very long time, Kelvin.  Thanks for reading this anyway.

  3.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    Another dream
    I don’t know what that retreat started but since posting that last message I have had yet another dream.  In this latest one there were two soldiers carrying a sofa up a glen!!! What on earth does that tell me.  Any offers of help most gratefully accepted.

  4. Saph Avatar
    Saph

    Another dream
    As a person of quite mature years, let me share with you my thoughts on your dream.
    I see the soliders with their uniforms as a sign of discipline – perhaps you are searching for someone to take you in hand and put more structure in your life. The sofa to me represents comfort and familiarity maybe this is what you are searching for but combined with the rugged landscape of the glen are prepared to take the rough with the smooth. Sometimes our dreams are like a humane mouse trap, we are lured in with the promise of something nice to taste but in the end we are trapped and at the mercy of someone elses hand to release us back into the wild.

    I hope this has been of some help to you. Thank you for taking the time to read the ramblings of an old woman anyway.

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