• Trolleys are for Supermarkets

    I had a lovely morning today conducting a funeral service. Oh, I know lots of people don’t get that this can be satisfying but to me I can’t really think of a more lovely way of spending a morning than committing someone who has died at a great age into the love of God. The fact that the person who had died had in large part lived to make the world more beautiful only made it more lovely.

    I was struck by a brief conversation with the undertaker before the service went in. This wasn’t a busy funeral – the person who had died had outlived most of those who might once have come to celebrate her life. As the coffin was being taken out of the hearse, I was surprised to see three members of the undertaker’s staff join him in lifting the coffin onto their shoulders.

    “Oh, you don’t use a trolley?” I asked in surprise.

    The answer that I got was wonderful –

    “No, Mr Holdsworth, trolleys are for supermarkets, we always carry the coffin in”.

    I cannot tell you how pleased I was to hear this.

    So many funerals seem to involve a squeaky and undignified trolley. I even have to insist sometimes that the coffin is lifted onto proper tressels during the funeral itself. There’s many a person in the funeral business who would leave a coffin on the trolley throughout.

    Am I alone in thinking that there’s not much dignity in a coffin on wheels?

    I know there will be exceptions where a trolley is necessary and I guess that, in an industry that has seen costs soaring, it is going to cost more if one has to pay the pallbearers but I do prefer a coffin to be carried into church rather than pushed.

    At some crematoria where I’ve officiated the presumption is so much in favour of wheels that a kind of roll-on, roll-off trolley has become an integral part of the proceedings.

    We don’t talk that much about death, though there are some valiant attempts to get us to do so. There’s the death café movement that gathers people to talk about death and I seem to remember an initiative in the Church of England called Grave Talk which was an attempt to build up a conversation.

    I know that any undertakers will arrange for pallbearers to carry a coffin in properly if you ask them. That’s what undertakers do – they undertake to make the arrangements for you. I’m someone who mourns the transformation of undertakers into “funeral directors” – the very term seems to imply that the business knows better than either the celebrant who has probably got a bit of experience on how to do things properly, the relatives (who may, if they are feeling particular grief may well feel better for being involved in the funeral planning and service) and indeed the wishes of the person who has died if they did  the sensible thing and left instructions.

    The joy today was finding a company which just don’t normally use a trolley as policy. It is a small thing but an important one.

    Funeral trolleys always remind me of the wobbly nave altar in St Ninian’s Cathedral in Perth, which itself always looked as though it had been purloined from a hospital porter.

    Now where did undertakers’ trolleys come from? And why do people put up with them?

    They are hideous. Always hideous.

    No. No. Away ye trolley-bearers.

    And congratulations to Sim and Son for their trolley-free policy.

    (I’m happy to link to any other undertakers in the West of Scotland who never use a trolley)

4 responses to “Retreat”

  1. Carole Avatar
    Carole

    Retreat
    Interesting choice of theme for the Advent retreat.
    Mary Magdelen was of course know to be an energetic, implusive and caring woman. Quite a dream really.

    Unusual combination of food stuffs lentils and banana, anyway.

  2.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    Retreat

    Just struck by the coincidence that you and I were on retreat at the same time.  While you were considering the place of Mary Magdalene I was being led to listen more deeply to my dreams.  Through a process of table fellowship and sharing I came to find much meaning in what seemed like a completely random collection of items which regularly arise during the silent hours of the night:  medical pots; gas masks; military apparel; a purple stole; a half-mauled rabbit; a friendly ghost and a bottle of single malt.  I was really appreciative of my fellow retreatants one of whom, realising it was my first time, was very gentle with me and showed me the ropes.  The other, the slightly more talkative of the two, showed a persistent yet Liberal interest in delving deeper into my darkest recesses to see what might come up. If your retreat was anything like as rich as mine you should have enough to chew upon for a very long time, Kelvin.  Thanks for reading this anyway.

  3.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    Another dream
    I don’t know what that retreat started but since posting that last message I have had yet another dream.  In this latest one there were two soldiers carrying a sofa up a glen!!! What on earth does that tell me.  Any offers of help most gratefully accepted.

  4. Saph Avatar
    Saph

    Another dream
    As a person of quite mature years, let me share with you my thoughts on your dream.
    I see the soliders with their uniforms as a sign of discipline – perhaps you are searching for someone to take you in hand and put more structure in your life. The sofa to me represents comfort and familiarity maybe this is what you are searching for but combined with the rugged landscape of the glen are prepared to take the rough with the smooth. Sometimes our dreams are like a humane mouse trap, we are lured in with the promise of something nice to taste but in the end we are trapped and at the mercy of someone elses hand to release us back into the wild.

    I hope this has been of some help to you. Thank you for taking the time to read the ramblings of an old woman anyway.

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