• Mr Provost’s Finest Reindeer Receipt

    Roughly chop a leek, couple of slices of bacon and as many cloves of garlic as you dare.

    Heat a frying pan to a sizzle and fling the leek, bacon and garlic in, closely followed by the reindeer steaks.

    After five minutes turn the steaks over and scoop the leek/pig/garlic into another pan.

    Heat this as far as you dare and tip in enough cheap gin to make you wonder whether this is a waste of good gin.

    Throw in a handful of blueberries

    Heat until kitchen is covered in fog reminiscent of the incense at midnight mass.

    Remove from heat and gently stir in several good dollops of crème fraîche.

    Rudolph steaks will now be ready having cooked for a further five minutes. Artfully plate them up and cover with the sauce that will now be advent coloured.

    Serve with oven roasted potato, butternut squash, red pepper, courgette ensemble.

2 responses to “Intimations”

  1.  Avatar
    Kelvin

    Re: Intimations
    ‘Gentle application of holy water’? Get her to drink it and that should kill off any bacteria. If that fails let me know and I can send you one of St Rita’s rose petals and you could make a fragrant nosegay for her. That should do the trick.

  2.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    Re: Intimations
    I fear that a fragrant nosegay might be more difficult to apply for any period of time than the recent eyedrops which gave both she and I so much entertainment.

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