What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • Missional – Your Time Has Come

    Hear Ye! Hear Ye!

    I hereby announce an international competition to rid the ears of the godly of a peculiar modern ugliness. Everywhere I go (and I’ve recently been engaged on a quest to go just about everywhere) I’m hearing the word MISSIONAL used in church circles. It seems to me that this is a modern phenomenon and one from which we need to be freed.

    How long, oh Lord, how long? How long will you let your church think it can succeed in bringing your love to the world whilst it mangles English grammar?

    Is it not enough that we have kidnapped the word INTENTIONAL and used it for our own devices and desires. It was clearly a sin for whoever first added those two little letters to have created such a hybrid monster. Greater though was the sin of those who GIFTED it from one Christian community to another.

    No, no, and a thousand times no. Missional will not do.

    Yet the trouble is, what should we use instead? Is there a simple word or very short phrase that is more acceptable to holy earlugs than missional?

    I declare a competition to find something else. Bring out your simplicity. Wash your spotless grammatical linen in public. Wear your loveliest past participles on your sleeve. Offer up your adjectives. Pour a gentle libation of adverbs before the altar of the Lord.

    Please, please. Offer an alternative.

    Suggestions welcome in the comments below.

    A crown of laurel to the winner.

    , ,

36 responses to “A Question about Marriage and the Bible – can you help”

  1. Father David Avatar
    Father David

    If Dan Brown, rather than the New Testament is to be believed then, how about, Jesus and Mary of Magdala? Or, to be more Orthodox – Jesus and His Bride – the One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church?

    Reply
    1. Kelvin Avatar
      Kelvin

      I think we are now being silly.

      Reply
  2. Father David Avatar
    Father David

    Not at all silly if you take seriously the Revelation of St. John the Divine and the penitential season of Advent. “Wake, O Wake!” Dean Kelvin “The hour has come, we hear them saying, where are ye all, ye virgins wise? The Bridegroom comes in sight, Raise high your torches bright! Alleluia! The wedding song swells loud and strong; Go forth and join the Festal throng.” So, do please make sure that you have oil in your lamp to keep on burning and be ye not numbered among the foolish virgins.
    Alternatively, how about the anonymous couple who were married at the Wedding Feast at Cana? Simply because they are not named they could stand for each and every married couple willing and ready to make their sacred and binding marriage vows. Judging by the amount of wine that was available post transformation, they must have had one hell of a Wedding Breakfast.

    Reply
  3. Pam Richmond Avatar
    Pam Richmond

    Perhaps good marriages do not make fascinating stories. Bad or odd marriages, on the other hand…..

    Reply

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