What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • Liturgical news

    Here is the liturgical news from St Mary’s Cathedral, Glasgow yesterday.

    • The Provost announced during morning service that the church is responsible for far too much condemnation in the world and far too few blessings. He and the Vice Provost then went on to offer the ancient Blessing of the Throats traditionally performed by holding candles to the throats of the faithful on St Blaise’s Day. About 45 members of the congregation had their throats blessed.
    • There have been no outbreaks of any diseases of the throat since yesterday.
    • The Provost turned into a flailing jellyfish at two points during yesterday’s mass. The first was the result of him seeing the gospel procession going past him and on down the aisle before he had woken up to the fact that he was the deacon and due to read the gospel. The second was when he tried to retrieve and consume a fallen host during communion. This resulted in a manoeuvre that is known as being Slain in the Spirit amongst low church people and known as falling Amice over Tippet by high church people.
    • The Provost was dismayed at the end of the mass to have it pointed out to him that the mass may not have been valid as he was wearing his stole in the manner of a priest rather than in the manner of a deacon.
    • The Provost then used the fact that his stole was the wrong way round to justify the fact that he had forgotten to follow the gospel procession earlier in the service.
    • Black shoes were worn throughout.

4 responses to “Prayers at a time of tragedy”

  1. Linda Watson Avatar
    Linda Watson

    It’s hard to imagine that only a few hours ago I was in your beautiful church in that wonderful city that sometimes I think of as mine. My heart and my prayers go out to all the families of the bereaved and injured tonight.
    “Rest eternal Lord, grant unto them and may light perpetual shine upon them”

    Reply
  2. Diane Avatar
    Diane

    Amen. And yet again the people of Glasgow showed themsleves at their warm-hearted best, with unsolicited offers of practical help.

    Reply
  3. The Revd Tom Green Avatar
    The Revd Tom Green

    Thank you for this prayer Kelvin.
    Here in Australia the week before last, a guy dressed as a Muslim (and was in fact one) held a lot of people hostage in a very posh but well-patronised cafe in the business/law precinct the city of Sydney. He had a lot of irrational demands. It was a very well-planned and he held up the people and the city in terror for 12+ hours. He was actually a bully and unhinged mentally. In the end the police broke in and in the ensuing gun battle 2 people were killed by the gunmman then the gunman himself.
    We lie quietly here in Australia with relatively little racial violence (but lots of domestic violence -the gunman had heaps of charges)
    We understand this incident does not equate with what happened in your city
    or to the schhool-children in Pakistan but it stunned us.

    So I thank you for your skill to put this simple prayer together.
    Tom

    Reply
    1. Kelvin Avatar
      Kelvin

      Thanks Tom – we were all watching and praying along with those in Sydney last week. These events are world events. Paradoxically they bring us together.

      Reply

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