• Trolleys are for Supermarkets

    I had a lovely morning today conducting a funeral service. Oh, I know lots of people don’t get that this can be satisfying but to me I can’t really think of a more lovely way of spending a morning than committing someone who has died at a great age into the love of God. The fact that the person who had died had in large part lived to make the world more beautiful only made it more lovely.

    I was struck by a brief conversation with the undertaker before the service went in. This wasn’t a busy funeral – the person who had died had outlived most of those who might once have come to celebrate her life. As the coffin was being taken out of the hearse, I was surprised to see three members of the undertaker’s staff join him in lifting the coffin onto their shoulders.

    “Oh, you don’t use a trolley?” I asked in surprise.

    The answer that I got was wonderful –

    “No, Mr Holdsworth, trolleys are for supermarkets, we always carry the coffin in”.

    I cannot tell you how pleased I was to hear this.

    So many funerals seem to involve a squeaky and undignified trolley. I even have to insist sometimes that the coffin is lifted onto proper tressels during the funeral itself. There’s many a person in the funeral business who would leave a coffin on the trolley throughout.

    Am I alone in thinking that there’s not much dignity in a coffin on wheels?

    I know there will be exceptions where a trolley is necessary and I guess that, in an industry that has seen costs soaring, it is going to cost more if one has to pay the pallbearers but I do prefer a coffin to be carried into church rather than pushed.

    At some crematoria where I’ve officiated the presumption is so much in favour of wheels that a kind of roll-on, roll-off trolley has become an integral part of the proceedings.

    We don’t talk that much about death, though there are some valiant attempts to get us to do so. There’s the death café movement that gathers people to talk about death and I seem to remember an initiative in the Church of England called Grave Talk which was an attempt to build up a conversation.

    I know that any undertakers will arrange for pallbearers to carry a coffin in properly if you ask them. That’s what undertakers do – they undertake to make the arrangements for you. I’m someone who mourns the transformation of undertakers into “funeral directors” – the very term seems to imply that the business knows better than either the celebrant who has probably got a bit of experience on how to do things properly, the relatives (who may, if they are feeling particular grief may well feel better for being involved in the funeral planning and service) and indeed the wishes of the person who has died if they did  the sensible thing and left instructions.

    The joy today was finding a company which just don’t normally use a trolley as policy. It is a small thing but an important one.

    Funeral trolleys always remind me of the wobbly nave altar in St Ninian’s Cathedral in Perth, which itself always looked as though it had been purloined from a hospital porter.

    Now where did undertakers’ trolleys come from? And why do people put up with them?

    They are hideous. Always hideous.

    No. No. Away ye trolley-bearers.

    And congratulations to Sim and Son for their trolley-free policy.

    (I’m happy to link to any other undertakers in the West of Scotland who never use a trolley)

7 responses to “Come out and carry on”

  1. Emlyn Williams Avatar
    Emlyn Williams

    Couldn’t you find a nice mitre to replace the crown? 😉

    1. Kelvin Avatar

      Oh, I didn’t make it.

      And in any case, with the C of E, it is all about the Crown.

      1. Susan Sheppard Hedges Avatar

        Can we share it even over here in the US?

        1. Alan McManus Avatar

          Yes! With an explanatory, ‘The Kingdom of God Needs You (To Come Out)!’ I’m celebrating today by putting my publications on my website, thus nailing my rainbow colours to the mast. Once I’ve had my tea. Living in Glasgow, I won’t have had it.

    2. Fr Steve Avatar

      Sounds like a movie of the 1960’s starring the wonderful (and yet sad) Kenneth Williams!

  2. Dharma Nicodemus Cuthbert Avatar
    Dharma Nicodemus Cuthbert

    Just another day to be forgotten about, by the majority of straight people. Like the 1st of December, I half jokingly asked my rector which colour I should dye my hair on the 1st, pink or purple he immediately said purple. I asked why then he reminded that it was Advent, I had to explain why I had thought of pink. He didn’t know that the 1st of Dec was the world’s hiv/aids day, we both were seeing the day from completely different angels.
    I was surprised that the day wasn’t known to him, he’s not that old.. Anyway way I could experiment and see what happens.

    1. Alan McManus Avatar

      What a lovely thought, that there are different angels dedicated to the celebration of Advent and to the care of people in various states of sickness and health! A felicitous typo.

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