What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • Baptising

    There are few more joyful things to do in this world than a baptism service. Yesterday I got to baptise someone called Theodore, which of course means Gift of God. He rather enjoyed proceedings and I’ve seldom held a child more keen to jump right into the font.

    People sometimes comment on how much babies seem to enjoy being baptised at St Mary’s. Some older folk sometimes say, “I thought they were supposed to cry….” to which I reply, “…and I think it is nicer if they don’t”.

    Sometimes people even come out with that old medieval nonsense that the cry of a baby at a baptism is the devil coming out. Here’s your theology starter for 10: the devil ain’t in there in the first place.

    If you want to make a baby cry at a baptism, here are the instructions:

    • hold them upside down
    • hold them so they can’t see anyone they know
    • use cold water
    • flick the water in their face with a large, hard shell
    • hold them as though you are frightened you are going to drop them.

    Otherwise,

    • hold them so they can see what’s going on – sitting on the side of the font is a good start
    • surround them with a sea of happy smiling faces
    • warm up the water
    • talk to them and mean what you say
    • keep parents in sight and free from anxiety themselves
    • lots of splashes
    ,

6 responses to “It’s Time for a Vote”

  1. Bro David Avatar
    Bro David

    I didn’t know that they actor on the Good Wife was a Scotsman!

    Reply
  2. Kelvin Holdsworth Avatar
    Kelvin Holdsworth

    I think you mean Alan Cumming – though I’ve never see the Good Wife.

    Alan is certainly Scottish and can be seen along with someone else you know on the front cover of this publication.
    http://www.equality-network.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/EM-booklet-lores.pdf

    Reply
    1. Bro David Avatar
      Bro David

      The Good Wife is one of my favorite US TV shows. He plays the part with no detectable accent whatever, unlike his fellow Brit, Archie Panjabi, who speaks with a very proper accent, but from who know where. This past week Alan’s character kissed a girl and they liked it!

      Reply
      1. Kelvin Avatar
        Kelvin

        This may come as a revelation:
        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEXJ71eX1y0

        Reply
        1. Bro David Avatar
          Bro David

          So he’s always had bad hair! The Ginger’s cute. Are those natural accents or tuned up a bit?

          Reply
          1. Kelvin Avatar
            Kelvin

            Tuned up a bit though you do hear people speak like that.

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