What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • Liturgical news

    Here is the liturgical news from St Mary’s Cathedral, Glasgow yesterday.

    • The Provost announced during morning service that the church is responsible for far too much condemnation in the world and far too few blessings. He and the Vice Provost then went on to offer the ancient Blessing of the Throats traditionally performed by holding candles to the throats of the faithful on St Blaise’s Day. About 45 members of the congregation had their throats blessed.
    • There have been no outbreaks of any diseases of the throat since yesterday.
    • The Provost turned into a flailing jellyfish at two points during yesterday’s mass. The first was the result of him seeing the gospel procession going past him and on down the aisle before he had woken up to the fact that he was the deacon and due to read the gospel. The second was when he tried to retrieve and consume a fallen host during communion. This resulted in a manoeuvre that is known as being Slain in the Spirit amongst low church people and known as falling Amice over Tippet by high church people.
    • The Provost was dismayed at the end of the mass to have it pointed out to him that the mass may not have been valid as he was wearing his stole in the manner of a priest rather than in the manner of a deacon.
    • The Provost then used the fact that his stole was the wrong way round to justify the fact that he had forgotten to follow the gospel procession earlier in the service.
    • Black shoes were worn throughout.

3 responses to “St Andrews Debates”

  1. Allan Ronald Avatar
    Allan Ronald

    Delighted to learn that so much progress has been made at our Alma Mater (I graduated MA in 1971). Gaudeamus igitur, indeed.

    Reply
  2. Zebabee Avatar
    Zebabee

    There were signs of change in 1999 when I departed from St Marys. Delighted that the progress has gathered pace over the years and is now so much improved.

    Reply
  3. Rosemary Hannah Avatar
    Rosemary Hannah

    When I was there (I left in 75), it was understood that nobody in Gaysoc spoke about who else they had seen at a meeting – it was still not safe to be ‘out’ in public. That was at a liberal-minded University. Of course there were people who were out, some notably gifted. Indeed, thank God for it.

    Reply

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