What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • Mr Provost’s Finest Reindeer Receipt

    Roughly chop a leek, couple of slices of bacon and as many cloves of garlic as you dare.

    Heat a frying pan to a sizzle and fling the leek, bacon and garlic in, closely followed by the reindeer steaks.

    After five minutes turn the steaks over and scoop the leek/pig/garlic into another pan.

    Heat this as far as you dare and tip in enough cheap gin to make you wonder whether this is a waste of good gin.

    Throw in a handful of blueberries

    Heat until kitchen is covered in fog reminiscent of the incense at midnight mass.

    Remove from heat and gently stir in several good dollops of crème fraîche.

    Rudolph steaks will now be ready having cooked for a further five minutes. Artfully plate them up and cover with the sauce that will now be advent coloured.

    Serve with oven roasted potato, butternut squash, red pepper, courgette ensemble.

7 responses to “Liturgical news”

  1. PamB Avatar
    PamB

    Apart from the outbreak of throat-blessings, I noticed none of this, despite being about three yards from it. Had the Shoes been other than black, however, I’d have spotted them from a mile away. #pedantalert.

    Reply
    1. kelvin Avatar
      kelvin

      Proof positive that some time spent in a good liturgical finishing school early in a clerical career pays dividends later on.

      Reply
  2. Revruth Avatar
    Revruth

    I don’t know why but the phrase ‘flailing jellyfish’ has made me laugh so much that I nearly had an accident. We’ve all done it and now it will be made worse by thinking of that phrase each time. Thank you.

    Reply
    1. Fr Dougal Avatar
      Fr Dougal

      “Provost turns into a flailing jellyfish”? It’s like an episode of Dr Who! Blue Book instead of blue Tardis but otherwise….

      Reply
  3. PMo Avatar
    PMo

    And it’s claimed that I’m ‘special’!!

    Reply
  4. Rhea Avatar
    Rhea

    i got a good chuckle out of this. Thanks for sharing 🙂

    Reply
  5. Andrew H Avatar
    Andrew H

    Sounds par for the course at our Sunday 1030 masses… such events and little mishaps keep us all on our toes. And, of course, invariably performed with due reverence, and in the best possible taste….!

    Reply

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