• Trolleys are for Supermarkets

    I had a lovely morning today conducting a funeral service. Oh, I know lots of people don’t get that this can be satisfying but to me I can’t really think of a more lovely way of spending a morning than committing someone who has died at a great age into the love of God. The fact that the person who had died had in large part lived to make the world more beautiful only made it more lovely.

    I was struck by a brief conversation with the undertaker before the service went in. This wasn’t a busy funeral – the person who had died had outlived most of those who might once have come to celebrate her life. As the coffin was being taken out of the hearse, I was surprised to see three members of the undertaker’s staff join him in lifting the coffin onto their shoulders.

    “Oh, you don’t use a trolley?” I asked in surprise.

    The answer that I got was wonderful –

    “No, Mr Holdsworth, trolleys are for supermarkets, we always carry the coffin in”.

    I cannot tell you how pleased I was to hear this.

    So many funerals seem to involve a squeaky and undignified trolley. I even have to insist sometimes that the coffin is lifted onto proper tressels during the funeral itself. There’s many a person in the funeral business who would leave a coffin on the trolley throughout.

    Am I alone in thinking that there’s not much dignity in a coffin on wheels?

    I know there will be exceptions where a trolley is necessary and I guess that, in an industry that has seen costs soaring, it is going to cost more if one has to pay the pallbearers but I do prefer a coffin to be carried into church rather than pushed.

    At some crematoria where I’ve officiated the presumption is so much in favour of wheels that a kind of roll-on, roll-off trolley has become an integral part of the proceedings.

    We don’t talk that much about death, though there are some valiant attempts to get us to do so. There’s the death café movement that gathers people to talk about death and I seem to remember an initiative in the Church of England called Grave Talk which was an attempt to build up a conversation.

    I know that any undertakers will arrange for pallbearers to carry a coffin in properly if you ask them. That’s what undertakers do – they undertake to make the arrangements for you. I’m someone who mourns the transformation of undertakers into “funeral directors” – the very term seems to imply that the business knows better than either the celebrant who has probably got a bit of experience on how to do things properly, the relatives (who may, if they are feeling particular grief may well feel better for being involved in the funeral planning and service) and indeed the wishes of the person who has died if they did  the sensible thing and left instructions.

    The joy today was finding a company which just don’t normally use a trolley as policy. It is a small thing but an important one.

    Funeral trolleys always remind me of the wobbly nave altar in St Ninian’s Cathedral in Perth, which itself always looked as though it had been purloined from a hospital porter.

    Now where did undertakers’ trolleys come from? And why do people put up with them?

    They are hideous. Always hideous.

    No. No. Away ye trolley-bearers.

    And congratulations to Sim and Son for their trolley-free policy.

    (I’m happy to link to any other undertakers in the West of Scotland who never use a trolley)

11 responses to “Ruth Innes RIP”

  1. Bill Robertson Avatar
    Bill Robertson

    So sorry to hear of Ruth’s death. She was a character you only meet once in a lifetime. RIP. 🙏

  2. Gillian Avatar
    Gillian

    Thanks for this lovely tribute to Ruth. Ruth also served at St Mark’s Portobello (until 2010 – in between the Falkirk and Linlithgow stints I think) and is fondly remembered there by her little flock.

    1. Kelvin Avatar

      My apologies for missing that out in the first draft. I’ll add it in.

  3. Gillian Avatar
    Gillian

    Thanks Kelvin.

  4. Rosemary Hannah Avatar
    Rosemary Hannah

    Ruth had, also, a huge ability to sus out the gifts of others and to use them in a way that brought them fulfilment. It never put her off that others (often) regarded that person as a bit too marginal to use. Ruth made me feel useful- a gift both precious and rare. She also had the rare gift of good, solid fury. Gore Vidal had a set of essays ‘on our own now’ , his reaction to Eleanor Roosevelt’s death. Ruth is gone. We are on our own now.

  5. Gordon Reid Avatar
    Gordon Reid

    Thank you, Kelvin, for this lovely tribute to Mother Ruth. She came to visit me in Philadelphia and was an instant hit among my friends. As you’ve said, she combined the kindness and compassion of a pastor with a glorious, bubbling sense of humour. Heaven will suit her!

  6. Patricia Cant Avatar
    Patricia Cant

    Kelvin you have captured the Ruth I knew and loved, so thank you. I am missing being able to chat with her but I’ll keep chatting to her in my prayers. Tomorrow will be a celebration of the life a special lady. May she rest in peace and she will rise in glory.

  7. Cliff Piper Avatar
    Cliff Piper

    Kelvin thank you so much for writing. Ruth was a very special person and even in her increasingly poor health continued to support and encourage me in coping with my own illness. May she rest in peace and rise in purple.

  8. Bob King Avatar
    Bob King

    She was an amazing person, priest and friend. She rescued me at my first Clergy Conference which had not been a good experience for me up
    to the point when she said “sit here Bob” A person I admired, respected and was always a wee bit scared of as she would always put me right when I needed it.
    God Bless you Ruth 😍

  9. Sally Avatar
    Sally

    Thanks Kelvin, this is Ruth, and more. One of those people once met never forgotten. A loyal and loving friend who I am going to miss very much.

  10. Gareth Saunders Avatar

    💜 The world has felt somewhat less colourful and bright this week. May she rest in peace and rise in purple, indeed. 💜

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