• On not giving up social media

    Like Mother Ruth, I was pondering yesterday a number of people who have decided to give up social media for Lent. It strikes me as a very odd thing to do.

    On the one hand, I suppose I can see that sometimes religious people feel the need to withdraw from the world for a time and simply be in a different place with less distraction. That is the essence of going on retreat. However, I can only conclude that those who are giving up social media for Lent use it for different reasons than I do. For me, Facebook and Twitter and blogging (and email, come to that, for email is social media) are ways of connecting and communicating with others. On Facebook I hear about things I want to hear about – other people’s passions, other people’s loves, other people’s lives. But they are not simply the Other, out there. Those people are part of my life too. Social media adds layers to life that I think are good, not bad and that makes me puzzled by people wanting to give that up.

    I could understand someone saying that they are going to give up being bad-tempered on twitter or give up posting photographs of other people’s kittens on Facebook. Both of those seem commendable. Giving up social media entirely seems like giving up speech for 40 days in order to conquer bad temper – a strategy that one suspects might well backfire.

    Here’s a few things that were part of my day on social media yesterday:

    • Being fascinated by the reports of people in the USA that I know going out into the streets with their ash yesterday to offer “Ashes To Go” to anyone.
    • Learning with delight, on the sly, that the choir had been talking about the subject of my Ash Wednesday sermonette (“How would you live today if tomorrow was your last?”) whilst in the pub after the Ash Wednesday service, where presumably they had gone for a sip of water.
    • Making a connection with the Dean of another cathedral that I’ve not been in touch with for four or five years.
    • Sharing a joke with a couple of people scattered in parts of the Scottish Episcopal Church that I think are remote (and which they probably think are Pisky Central).
    • Sharing a few pictures of beautiful things I’ve spotted over the last couple of days.
    • Making contact with a member of St Mary’s of a few years ago who was saying she missed Lent here and asking her what it was she missed – her answer, “Beauty from Chaos”.

    Why would I want to deprive myself of any of those things? What spiritual discipline says that to miss out on any of that that is good?

    My life is richer for social media. It is also diminished by those who step away from it, (yes, from me) for Lent.

    I’m puzzled by this devotion and believe it, not social media, to be a temptation.

11 responses to “Ruth Innes RIP”

  1. Bill Robertson Avatar
    Bill Robertson

    So sorry to hear of Ruth’s death. She was a character you only meet once in a lifetime. RIP. 🙏

  2. Gillian Avatar
    Gillian

    Thanks for this lovely tribute to Ruth. Ruth also served at St Mark’s Portobello (until 2010 – in between the Falkirk and Linlithgow stints I think) and is fondly remembered there by her little flock.

    1. Kelvin Avatar

      My apologies for missing that out in the first draft. I’ll add it in.

  3. Gillian Avatar
    Gillian

    Thanks Kelvin.

  4. Rosemary Hannah Avatar
    Rosemary Hannah

    Ruth had, also, a huge ability to sus out the gifts of others and to use them in a way that brought them fulfilment. It never put her off that others (often) regarded that person as a bit too marginal to use. Ruth made me feel useful- a gift both precious and rare. She also had the rare gift of good, solid fury. Gore Vidal had a set of essays ‘on our own now’ , his reaction to Eleanor Roosevelt’s death. Ruth is gone. We are on our own now.

  5. Gordon Reid Avatar
    Gordon Reid

    Thank you, Kelvin, for this lovely tribute to Mother Ruth. She came to visit me in Philadelphia and was an instant hit among my friends. As you’ve said, she combined the kindness and compassion of a pastor with a glorious, bubbling sense of humour. Heaven will suit her!

  6. Patricia Cant Avatar
    Patricia Cant

    Kelvin you have captured the Ruth I knew and loved, so thank you. I am missing being able to chat with her but I’ll keep chatting to her in my prayers. Tomorrow will be a celebration of the life a special lady. May she rest in peace and she will rise in glory.

  7. Cliff Piper Avatar
    Cliff Piper

    Kelvin thank you so much for writing. Ruth was a very special person and even in her increasingly poor health continued to support and encourage me in coping with my own illness. May she rest in peace and rise in purple.

  8. Bob King Avatar
    Bob King

    She was an amazing person, priest and friend. She rescued me at my first Clergy Conference which had not been a good experience for me up
    to the point when she said “sit here Bob” A person I admired, respected and was always a wee bit scared of as she would always put me right when I needed it.
    God Bless you Ruth 😍

  9. Sally Avatar
    Sally

    Thanks Kelvin, this is Ruth, and more. One of those people once met never forgotten. A loyal and loving friend who I am going to miss very much.

  10. Gareth Saunders Avatar

    💜 The world has felt somewhat less colourful and bright this week. May she rest in peace and rise in purple, indeed. 💜

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