• Leah’s Sad Eyes

    I have a question for those of you who went to Sunday School when you were young.

    What’s the least appropriate thing you remember being taught there?

    As we’ve been going through the stories from Genesis over the last few weeks, I keep thinking to myself – gosh, I remember learning this story in Sunday School.

    I’m not sure that we teach bible stories in Sunday School in quite the same way these days that we used to do. (And that’s not necessarily a bad thing – Sunday Schools of my day were statistically spectacularly bad at retaining people in the faith – I’m the exception, not the rule, so maybe it is worth trying a different tack).

    But here I am again on a Sunday morning reading one of the stories from Genesis and remembering doing the story in Sunday School completely uncritically, as though everything that was going on in it was perfectly normal. As though these were models to live by.

    But as I read these stories 50 years later, I think that might be a bit of a problem.

    The way we read stories matters.

    But we’ll come to that in a bit. For the moment, let’s have another go at trying to read the story of Jacob and Laban and Leah and Rachel and see what we find for ourselves. (Genesis 29:15-28)

    This is one of the most unlikely stories that you could possibly use to teach children anything about religion.

    It isn’t just tricky questions about polygamy that we need to look at though they are interesting.

    This is also a story that makes us think about honesty, decency and about relations between individuals, particularly relationships between men and women.

    When I was involved in the struggle for marriage equality, I kept hearing from those who were opposed to that, pleading for us to remain with what they called Biblical Marriage – by which they meant one man and one woman married to one another exclusively for life and whose children were born exclusively of that union.

    My former colleague Cedric Blakey had a mischievous little question that he used to ask of those putting forward this argument – which was to ask how many people in the bible they could name who fitted that pattern.

    It is a question that bears repeating and thinking about.

    There aren’t many at all.

    (You are welcome to play along and tell me how many you can think of after the service).

    This story is one of those I used to use to try to tease out what people were talking about when they referred to Biblical Marriage.

    This story is a load of trouble.

    It isn’t just that Jacob ends up married to more than one of the women either.

    That’s a problem worth wrestling with but the bigger problem is that this is a story that is about women being traded and passed around by men.

    And the bible is pretty ambivalent about it. Patriarchy is the dominant norm of the society we read about in Genesis. Even more – these stories are the bedrock upon which the patriarchal assumptions of our own societies are based.

    But hear this, and hear it from the pulpit as we read this text today.

    • The domination of women by men is a sin. And that should be remembered when we read the story of Leah, Rachel and Zilpah, the much forgotten maid.
    • Trafficking women is a sin.
    • And the dishonesty of Laban towards Jacob is a sin too.

    There’s something I’ve been wanting to say from the pulpit for a while and this story seems the right context to talk about it.

    Statistically it is the case that in a congregation this size there will be people present who have survived or perhaps still endure domestic violence. Both victims of such violence and those who perpetrate it are present in churches.

    At the last but one Lambeth Conference of bishops of the Anglican Communion there was a session on domestic violence because someone thought it important simply to name an evil. What was less expected was that when the mostly female spouses of the bishops (who were mostly men) started to talk about the topic they started to talk about it from their own experience and started to name and speak about their own experience of being treated badly by their spouses. It is uncomfortable to acknowledge that this is a problem within faith communities. But silence doesn’t make it go away.

    There’s one small detail about this story that always makes me think. It is the line about Leah’s eyes. We are told in the translation we read that Leah’s eyes were lovely.

    I rather like the notion that thousands of years later, someone’s lovely eyes are still being talked about. However, I also know that this is a tricky line of Hebrew to translate. Perhaps the better translation is that Leah had gentle eyes, which has led some to speculate that what was noticeable about Leah, the less graceful and less beautiful of the sisters, is that she was always crying.

    If your eyes are gentle or soft or weary of crying and you are scared of someone you live with then it might help to speak about it. Any of the clergy or the church wardens would be willing to listen and if appropriate to help you to find help – and there are those in this diocese who have worked hard to raise the profile of the problem of domestic violence and who may know how to offer to help.

    Here’s the good news. The bible doesn’t teach me how men and women should relate to one another. It is our God given consciences and holy common sense that have to do that.

    But the bible does teach me that the tears need to be wiped from every eye. Weeping may spend the night, but joy comes in the morning.

    And the bible teaches me that God is on the side of the underdog, the overlooked, the undervalued, the less preferred sister, the cheated son in law, the broken, the weary, the sad, the lonely, the abused, the hungry and the oppressed. And that is good news.

    And God calls us all to wipe the tears and build a world of justice and joy.

    It isn’t entirely clear who the narrator of the story is in Genesis. But someone noticed Leah’s eyes.

    Trust me on this. Someone has noticed you too.

    God looks on you and whether you are beautiful and graceful or whether your eyes are soft with tears, God looks on you and says.

    “You are altogether lovely. And I love you more than anyone you know.”

    In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.

    AMEN

10 responses to “Blessings abounding”

  1. Dianne Pallett Avatar
    Dianne Pallett

    There really isn’t any argument left – discriminatory practice is not acceptable anywhere, least of all in our churches. There should not be any such thing as “gay marriage” as if it is something different, just “marriage” is fine – marriage for any who want to make that commitment regardless of their orientation.
    Can we turn our attentions to the awful things happening in the world now instead of making an issue out of something that shouldn’t be?

    1. kelvin Avatar

      The trouble is, I don’t think we can move on until those pesky laws (church and state alike) have actually been changed.

  2. Rosemary Hannah Avatar
    Rosemary Hannah

    I think the reason we can’t move on until it is sorted is that real people actually get hurt. The message that ‘gay is second best’ is a deeply damaging one – and we should not put up with it, not while we are still having to produce videos which say ‘It gets better’. It should not have to get better, except in the usual way that being a teenager is a difficult thing anyhow. The clear message needs to be ‘There is nothing second-best about being gay for anybody.’

  3. Augur Pearce Avatar
    Augur Pearce

    The ‘Nigerian or Ugandan’ label is surely no worse than the ‘Catholic’ label. It gets laborious saying every time ‘the view of the Roman Catholic hierarchy’ rather than ‘the Catholic view’, even though we all know that plenty of good Christians in that tradition do not share all the beliefs of an elderly Bavarian sitting in a palace on the Italian peninsula. To my mind Andrew Brown’s punchline was trenchant and a jolt of encouragement.

    1. G Wright Avatar
      G Wright

      we all know that plenty of good Christians in that tradition do not share all the beliefs of an elderly Bavarian sitting in a palace on the Italian peninsula
      —-

      The Catholic opinion of homosexuality is that it is a disordered, (“confused / mixed up”), sexuality. Nothing more, nothing less. It is a 100% accurate statement. I appreciate that it is not an especially flattering term, but then the truth is not always an easy and cuddly thing.

      Homosexuality is not disordered simply because our Holy Father, Pope Benedict XVI, says so.

      Rather, it is disordered – both physically and biologically – because biological science says so. That is not a bigoted statement, (references to bigotry are among the more desperate responses to the truth), but simply an acceptance of basic scientific knowledge, regarding human bodies, as taught in High School (usually 1st year) up and down the country.

      People can – of course – pretend to themselves that homosexuality isnt disordered, and that our understanding human biology is somehow wrong.

      But then, that is obviously an intellectually bankrupt position to take, isnt it?

      It is the truth that homosexuality is disordered. The role of the Pope is to have the courage to proclaim the truth, not to invent it. In contrast, both secular society and protestants dislike the truth; they prefer mental gymnastics and puerile pretence. For them, truth is a malleable concept, to be remade into whatever form suits them on this particular day.

      1. kelvin Avatar

        Can I suggest to regular commentators that we simply welcome Graham Wright to this blog but refrain from answering him point by point.

        He will learn much by reading along. We learn little here by getting involved in polemic debates and I think we’ve found previously that it is better to encourage people to have such debates on other sites.

  4. Mary Teresa Johnson-Symington Avatar
    Mary Teresa Johnson-Symington

    Hello Kelvin, just wanted to share with you the title of a novel I recently finished reading “Committed” by Elizabeth Gilbert. It’s an account of her journey to accepting marriage after going through a divorce some years before. It’s full of questions, historical info, research and different cultural approaches to marriage. It really helped me with my struggles in accepting being married (may sound a strange statement to make but for me it’s not and the book illustrates my thoughts very nicely – I just happened to do it the other way round – get married and then freak out!).
    Anyway she’s an American writer and it is very much a ladies book but I would recommend anyone read it and it be put on the reading list for schools. Yet to leave it by Neil’s side of the bed!! http://www.amazon.com/Committed-Skeptic-Makes-Peace-Marriage/dp/0670021652

  5. G Wright Avatar
    G Wright

    so as not to do things which make us, the gospel and Christ himself appear foolish
    —-

    What makes Christianity look more foolish?

    Option (1): Defending the natural, traditional and universal understanding of marriage, the fundamental building block upon which all societies depend.

    OR

    Option (2): Pretending that homosexual and heterosexual relationships are somehow comparable, and accomodating them despite Christ’s own view of marriage, which He personally described as a permanent bond between a man and a woman*.

    (*Is Jesus a bigot too?)

    Surely it takes a special kind of arrogance for ‘Christians’ to suggest that Christ got it wrong, gave erroneous teachings, or that the Episcopal Church somehow knows better than He?

    How does an Episcopalian reconcile their faith with the fact that they are essentially ignoring Jesus’ own words and simply making things up to suit themselves?

    Might this approach be somehow connected with the terminal decline facing the Episcopal/Anglican Churches globally?

    The demographics of Anglicanism in the US are particularly stark and prophetic. They are outnumbered by even Jews and, incredibly, Mormons these days.

    1. kelvin Avatar

      Ah yes, proof of theological concepts by numbers attending church. That isn’t foolish at all, is it?

      Just as well my own congregation is booming these days.

      1. Rosemary Hannah Avatar
        Rosemary Hannah

        Yes, it is a bit of a double-edged sword the numbers thing … I have always argued numbers tell one nothing important, but the fact is that both of the last two churches I was really able to call ‘home’ grew significantly in numbers. It is so sad that ones ideology prevents a little gentle boasting …

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