• Civil Partnerships – What now for the churches?

    It has just been announced that a man and a woman have won their fight to enable them to register a Civil Partnership.

    At first sight, it will seem only just and right to most people. If same-sex couples can enter either a marriage or a civil partnership then why shouldn’t an opposite-sex couple?

    Put like that, it is a matter of simple justice and it is unsurprising that the Supreme Court has found as it has done.

    However, if I’m honest, though I  believe that same-sex couples and opposite-sex couples should be treated in the same way, I don’t think that this was the best solution.

    It seems to me now to be inevitable that we will have two statuses of partnership open to all couples – marriage and civil partnership. One gives fewer benefits than the other. Get married and you are far more likely to be treated as married when you travel than if you enter into a civil partnership. The benefits here in the UK are almost exactly the same. (I use the word almost even though I can’t now think of any differences at all apart from the name and the manner in which one can enter a civil partnership). The benefits when travelling the world will differ significantly. We fought for same-sex couples to be able to access marriage which conveys more benefits whilst now an opposite sex couple has fought for the right to be treated less well than married people.

    Why people would want to fight to be legally partnered in a system which was once discriminatory to gay couples is complex but it usually is justified by the phrase “Well, Civil Partnership doesn’t carry the patriarchal baggage of marriage”.

    Those who make this claim are denying all the work done over the last century to remove the patriarchal baggage around marriage. They are claiming that marriage hasn’t changed and are denying reality.

    Personally, I would have preferred the Civil Partnership system to have come to an end once same-sex couples were allowed to get married. I’d have allowed those in Civil Partnerships to remain in them but not allowed any new ones to be registered.

    This opinion sometimes leads to loud howls of protest from people who think (entirely wrongly) that marriage is inherently a religious institution. Anyone thinking it to be so simply doesn’t comprehend either the law of the land nor the history of marriage.  (Marriage was around before the church – no, really it was). This confusion is even promoted by the likes of the BBC which claimed today that “Civil Partnership is free of the religious connotations of marriage” as though entering marriage though a civil ceremony is a fraud.

    The odd thing is that those who howl most loudly about this are people that I know to have rejoiced most loudly at the Irish marriage referendum which resulted in the Irish state doing exactly what I’d have wished for here – closing the Civil Partnership system and allowing all couples access to marriage.

    I suspect that “the patriarchal baggage of marriage” is in fact a euphemism for stigma about divorce, which a good many righteous people have made worse over the years. (Yes, you know exactly to whom I am referring). And anyway, whilst we can argue about whether marriage carries patriarchal baggage there’s no argument about civil partnerships – they very certainly carry the baggage of inequality and oppression.

    I think it may still be legally possible for the governments within  the UK to resolve this as I’d have hoped it to be resolved though I suspect that the momentum is with so-called “straight civil partnerships” now and politically their creation is inevitable.

    But never mind what I think, what about the churches?

    Interestingly, there was a proposal put forward to the Scottish Episcopal Church to allow Civil Partnerships (between same-sex couples) to be registered in churches. A number of us argued successfully against this in the General Synod three years ago, to the considerable surprise of some liberal friends who just presumed that the gays wanted everything offered to them. Th gays, so to speak, could see this coming over the horizon and had a fair idea that the church would end up in a terrible mess if we proceeded in that way. Firstly it would have lessened the case for allowing the marriage of same-sex couples in the Scottish Episcopal Church and secondly it would have led sooner or later to decisions about whether or not to allow opposite sex couples to do something in church that looked like marriage but which wasn’t marriage. And so, I joined others in arguing against it and that vote was comprehensively lost.

    (As a side note, it is worth remembering that if those who might be characterised as being opponents of same-sex marriage had come forward with support for civil partnerships in church 10 years ago then I’d probably have bitten their hands off and I don’t think we would be anywhere near marrying same-sex couples now).

    But back to the churches.

    Where now for those who thought that Civil Partnership was a tidy hiding hole for the unfortunate people who feel the need to enter into gay coupledom who are not really fully human but can’t really help themselves?  (The Church of England, I’m talking about you, though not you alone). Seems to me that this judgement puts you even deeper into the mire.

    Here are the obvious questions:

    • Will a man and a woman remain in good standing with a church if they enter a Civil Partnership?
    • In the Church of England will they remain in good standing only if they enter into a Civil Partnership but promise their bishop they won’t have sex?
    • Will anyone in a Civil Partnership be able to become ordained without the need of getting married?
    • Can a bishop (or archbishop) be in a Civil Partnership only if he or she is part of a same-sex couple?
    • How long will it be before there are liturgical resources for recognising Civil Partnerships in churches?
    • Will pro-gay campaigners, particularly in the Church of England now realise the absurdity of campaigning for anything that falls short of marriage?
    • Will those advocating the church recognise Civil Partnership continue to do so now if it is open to opposite sex couples?
    • What is the difference between a Civil Partnership and a Marriage?
    • Do the churches care about the fact that the number of marriages will now inevitably decline?
    • Will the churches see marriage as a better institution for opposite-sex couples than Civil Partnership and what will this say about their current and previous policy towards God’s beloved gay children?
    • Which churches will regard children born in a civil partnership differently from children born in a marriage?
    • Will this lead to greater equality in churches or less equality in churches?
    • Is the Church of England going to find itself in the absurd position of supporting Civil Partnerships for opposite sex couples in order to retain them for same-sex couples so as to deny marriage to same-sex couples? And what will the Global South make of that?

     

8 responses to “Synod Review – things you might have missed”

  1. kelvin Avatar

    COMMENTING POLICY

    Someone has tried to leave an anonymous comment making an allegation against someone in our church, that specific instances of bullying have been covered up.

    Whatever my sympathies are about the issue in general or what it being said in this case in particular, it is my view that dealing with this kind of thing through leaving an anonymous comment on a blog is neither an appropriate nor fruitful way forward. Indeed, my guess is that any anti-bullying policy worth its salt would argue that such a comment was itself an inappropriate behaviour in church circles.

    There is a grievance procedure in the church. If the person who left the comment would like to contact me by email or phone, I would be happy to point them towards the most appropriate way of dealing with the unfinished business which is causing them concern.

  2. chris Avatar

    Glad you had the energy to write this up so soon. I’d be interested in the further pursuit of the perceived irregularities with the Reserved Sacrament – but right now I have to get out to an entirely lay-led RS communion …

  3. Sarah Murray Avatar
    Sarah Murray

    It would be great to see the stats more widely available, they are quite difficult to get hold of- having written a paper on secularization and the SEC this year- stats were the first place to start to look at the trends and whether they matched the general trends etc. however I had to go around the houses to find them and then there were some considerable gaps. The census data unfortunately doesn’t include SEC as a separate category and therefore we have no picture from that data either. The patterns and the implications are hugely important picture for the future of the church.

  4. Suz Cate Avatar
    Suz Cate

    First, I offer thanks for the glimpse at a sister-church’s inner workings. Fascinating!

    I’m so sorry to hear that your preparation for ordained ministry included bullying. My personal experience here in TEC of the USA has been entirely supportive and not a bit confrontational (which isn’t to say it hasn’t been probing at times), but I’m aware of colleagues whose “process” has definitely included some bullying, and it is disgraceful.

    Your observation that “by such small mercies that great social change happens” is apt. I’ve seen that principle in action in our diocesan convention, in the pews of multiple parishes, and, more significantly for a native of the southern US, in the hundreds of daily situations in which persons of all different sorts have access to what were in former times the exclusive privileges of white upper class.

    The fact that there are still unspoken and unseen barriers to truly free access (here I’m thinking of my African American friends who feel the need to teach their sons to avoid encounters with the police, for instance) bears witness to the need to include as contributors and consultants the subjects of projects such as the Grosvenor Essay.

    Data matter. Even outliers are meaningless without the context of the data.

  5. Melissa Holloway Avatar
    Melissa Holloway

    I believe in small mercies – but the genesis of the small mercy mentioned here is a voice of leadership and power. In my southern USA diocese, as far as I can tell, the bishop’s voice goes in a different direction.

    Also, there is a ‘once upon a time’ that I think pertains not just to the Anglican Covenant, but also to the full inclusion of gay people in the church:

    “Once upon a time, I would have been on my feet encouraging, threatening, cajoling. I’d have been sowing fear, uncertainty and doubt. I would have been at work behind the scenes, bending people’s ears, twisting people’s arms – ”

    To risk being coy- as I was recently exhorted, we wait for the holy spirit here.

    I rejoice for this episode in the Scottish Episcopal Church, but it doesn’t make me feel so sanguine about my own life in the church. I hope for the day when a bishop I can claim says such a thing in a diocesan convention and then also for the day when everyone just wonders what the nibbles will be.

  6. revruth Avatar

    I wasn’t there nor did I manage to catch up on the talk about the deaconate online, but I wonder if anyone mentioned how this was going to be financed. Ordaining lots of deacons might be a very nice thing indeed, but I wonder if there is money for this. I reckon there are few churches who could afford both, so…?

  7. Christian Avatar
    Christian

    Fr Kelvin,

    It’s sad but not surprising to read your reporting on the SEC Synod debate about ministry. I am utterly perplexed to read that folks in this day and age think that someone coming straight from college knew nothing about the world. This is one of the reasons why I think that SEC will continue to struggle to attract younger members of our communities if they will not be accepeted (given the opportunity) and recognized for who they are and what they bring–Freshness, passion, zeal, strength, etc.

    However, I thank God for the grace and boldness given to our Primus to respond robustly to such ill-thought notions like: [There were calls for more non-stipendiaries working “not in the parish but in the world” and also for us to focus on those who have “life-experience” to be sought for ministry and not those coming “straight from college who know nothing about the world”.]

  8. Julie Avatar
    Julie

    Provost Kelvin

    It was refreshing to read the various reflections in the special edition of Inspires on-line post Synod 2012.
    Where there were any differences, when I compared the above with your Review, from my perspective, I felt your description was more measured & accurate.

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