What is in Kelvin's Head?

Coping with horror

23/05/2013
I don’t mean how does the country deal with terror attacks. I mean how do we cope with news coming onto our screens that contains horrific events.

There have been a number of news items this week which have just been horrible. The suicide of a right-wing activist next to the altar of Notre-Dame Cathedral in Paris. A feminist protest the next day in which a “mock suicide” was staged in the same place in the same cathedral. The continued terror attacks in Iraq – bombing after bombing. And now this ghastly murder on the streets of Woolwich.

How do we cope with hearing these things without becoming brittle? How do we cope with these things without becoming desensitized to the horror of what we see?

There are obvious political moves that are needed, such as the condemnation of those who would make capital out of such horror and try to use it to bring hate to the streets. The resurgence of the far-right, particularly in the south of England is a frightening reality in itself. But how to cope as a human being with hearing stories of horror?

Here’s some ideas for trying to live with it all:
- Don’t block out the news, try to take it in. But don’t sit listening to the endless repeated loops of 24 hour news stations.
- Read the opinions of those with whom one does not immediately agree.
- Know that the answers cannot always be found merely in words and thoughts – music and art and religious practice can be places where answers are to be found.
- Remember that faith and history teach us that horrific murders have always been part of human experience and remember that this does not excuse them.
- Try to judge people by their ideals rather than by one’s own fears.
- Be kind. Use bad news as a reminder to be kind.
- Pray for the peace of the streets and remember those whose vocation is keeping that peace.
- Write. Talk. Discuss. Listen. Understand. Act justly.
- The only acceptable revenge is living well.
Notre Dame, suicide, Woolwich attack

8 responses to “Synod Review – things you might have missed”

kelvin

10/06/2012

COMMENTING POLICY

Someone has tried to leave an anonymous comment making an allegation against someone in our church, that specific instances of bullying have been covered up.

Whatever my sympathies are about the issue in general or what it being said in this case in particular, it is my view that dealing with this kind of thing through leaving an anonymous comment on a blog is neither an appropriate nor fruitful way forward. Indeed, my guess is that any anti-bullying policy worth its salt would argue that such a comment was itself an inappropriate behaviour in church circles.

There is a grievance procedure in the church. If the person who left the comment would like to contact me by email or phone, I would be happy to point them towards the most appropriate way of dealing with the unfinished business which is causing them concern.

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chris

10/06/2012

Glad you had the energy to write this up so soon. I’d be interested in the further pursuit of the perceived irregularities with the Reserved Sacrament – but right now I have to get out to an entirely lay-led RS communion …

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Sarah Murray

10/06/2012

It would be great to see the stats more widely available, they are quite difficult to get hold of- having written a paper on secularization and the SEC this year- stats were the first place to start to look at the trends and whether they matched the general trends etc. however I had to go around the houses to find them and then there were some considerable gaps. The census data unfortunately doesn’t include SEC as a separate category and therefore we have no picture from that data either. The patterns and the implications are hugely important picture for the future of the church.

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Suz Cate

10/06/2012

First, I offer thanks for the glimpse at a sister-church’s inner workings. Fascinating!

I’m so sorry to hear that your preparation for ordained ministry included bullying. My personal experience here in TEC of the USA has been entirely supportive and not a bit confrontational (which isn’t to say it hasn’t been probing at times), but I’m aware of colleagues whose “process” has definitely included some bullying, and it is disgraceful.

Your observation that “by such small mercies that great social change happens” is apt. I’ve seen that principle in action in our diocesan convention, in the pews of multiple parishes, and, more significantly for a native of the southern US, in the hundreds of daily situations in which persons of all different sorts have access to what were in former times the exclusive privileges of white upper class.

The fact that there are still unspoken and unseen barriers to truly free access (here I’m thinking of my African American friends who feel the need to teach their sons to avoid encounters with the police, for instance) bears witness to the need to include as contributors and consultants the subjects of projects such as the Grosvenor Essay.

Data matter. Even outliers are meaningless without the context of the data.

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Melissa Holloway

12/06/2012

I believe in small mercies – but the genesis of the small mercy mentioned here is a voice of leadership and power. In my southern USA diocese, as far as I can tell, the bishop’s voice goes in a different direction.

Also, there is a ‘once upon a time’ that I think pertains not just to the Anglican Covenant, but also to the full inclusion of gay people in the church:

“Once upon a time, I would have been on my feet encouraging, threatening, cajoling. Iâ€™d have been sowing fear, uncertainty and doubt. I would have been at work behind the scenes, bending peopleâ€™s ears, twisting peopleâ€™s arms â€“ ”

To risk being coy- as I was recently exhorted, we wait for the holy spirit here.

I rejoice for this episode in the Scottish Episcopal Church, but it doesn’t make me feel so sanguine about my own life in the church. I hope for the day when a bishop I can claim says such a thing in a diocesan convention and then also for the day when everyone just wonders what the nibbles will be.

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revruth

12/06/2012

I wasn’t there nor did I manage to catch up on the talk about the deaconate online, but I wonder if anyone mentioned how this was going to be financed. Ordaining lots of deacons might be a very nice thing indeed, but I wonder if there is money for this. I reckon there are few churches who could afford both, so…?

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Christian

12/06/2012

Fr Kelvin,

It’s sad but not surprising to read your reporting on the SEC Synod debate about ministry. I am utterly perplexed to read that folks in this day and age think that someone coming straight from college knew nothing about the world. This is one of the reasons why I think that SEC will continue to struggle to attract younger members of our communities if they will not be accepeted (given the opportunity) and recognized for who they are and what they bring–Freshness, passion, zeal, strength, etc.

However, I thank God for the grace and boldness given to our Primus to respond robustly to such ill-thought notions like: [There were calls for more non-stipendiaries working â€œnot in the parish but in the worldâ€ and also for us to focus on those who have â€œlife-experienceâ€ to be sought for ministry and not those coming â€œstraight from college who know nothing about the worldâ€.]

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Julie

17/06/2012

Provost Kelvin

It was refreshing to read the various reflections in the special edition of Inspires on-line post Synod 2012.
Where there were any differences, when I compared the above with your Review, from my perspective, I felt your description was more measured & accurate.

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