What is in Kelvin's Head?

10 Correct Opinions About Christmas Carols

27/12/2018
Public service announcement.

The following opinions are all correct.
1. The first carol on Christmas Day should always be Christians Awake Salute the Happy Morn. It should be sung lustily and with the last line repeated.
2. While Shepherds Watched Their Flocks By Night may be sung to almost any tune. It must not, however, be sung to the tune Winchester Old
  - Acceptable tunes shall include:
    
    Liverpool
    
    Glasgow
    
    Lyngham
    
    Old Foster
    
    Sweet Chiming Christmas Bells
    
    Cranbrook – This may only be used once in every decade in any one place. There’s a limit to how entertaining it is.
3. The best carol of all is It Came Upon the Midnight Clear and it must be sung to the tune Noel by Arthur Sullivan. There are many things in which the US based Episcopal Church is correct but it is incorrect in its choice of tune for this carol. It may also be sung at Michaelmas. The incorrect words “It Came upon a midnight clear” are anathema. They have as much place in the Christian faith as Sundays before Advent or Sundays before Lent – ie none whatsoever.
4. Jingle Bells is not a carol.
5. The carol Of the Father’s Love Begotten may be sung at any time from Advent Sunday until the Feast of Candlemas. It must only be sung to the words agreed by Mr Frikki Walker and myself. The verse about seer and sybyl must always be included as it is both profound and reminds us all of Sybil Fawlty. I have every intention of broadcasting this carol unto the nation at the earliest opportunity so that everyone else may copy the St Mary’s version of the words.
6. 10 points may be claimed for anyone spotting a heresy in any carol. A bonus of 50 points is awarded to anyone who can come up with a heresy-free version that people will enjoy singing.
  - Your starter for 10 is “Veiled in flesh the Godhead see” which sounds like Docetism to me.
7. Anyone claiming that carols should be sung “in the original version” shall be required to sing Hark How All The Welkin Rings at the next carol service they are at and will then be required to explain to everyone at the door what a welkin is.
8. In the Bleak Midwinter may be sung, even though Jesus probably was not born amidst snow. However, it may only be sung by a good choir singing the Harold Darke version.
9. O Come All Ye Faithful is a Jacobite rallying call and is most proper for Scottish Episcopalians to sing.
10. Christmas cake should be eaten with cheese and not marzipan and icing.
Thank you for your attention.
Christmas carols

7 responses to “Military Reunion Videos”

Susan Sheppard Hedges

25/04/2012

Yes, the first one is a little too well produced.

Such sweet doggies in the second!!!

Reply
agatha

25/04/2012

I’m imagining the cat version: disdainful look; “have you been away? my food bowl’s empty” miaow; walks off.

Reply
Ruth

26/04/2012

Having enjoyed the doggie reunions video very much, Opal the Cat wishes to say that he hasn’t looked at his food dish once since I got back here tonight, nose rubbing, tummy tickling, head butting and general joyous ‘glad to see you’ stuff for a couple of hours, then an interesting video, followed by a companionable sleep on the table – on my hand ….

Reply
Zebadee

26/04/2012

I know someone who ,when he was young, used to get a similar reception from a boxer dog called Tess

Reply
Brother David

29/04/2012

Yes, the first one is neatly packaged, but it appears to be a commercial, not home videos.

Sorry, but it doesn’t take returning from a tour of duty for dogs to act this way, just go to the grocery store for 30 minutes and dogs will behave the same over-the-top way!

Reply
Craig Nelson

30/04/2012

Some of the dogs are bigger than the humans

Reply
Brother David

03/05/2012

In case no one saw it, here’s video number one in real life;
http://lgbtweekly.com/2012/04/26/gay-marine-says-i-do-on-base-a-first/

Reply