What is in Kelvin's Head?

10 Correct Opinions About Christmas Carols

27/12/2018
Public service announcement.

The following opinions are all correct.
1. The first carol on Christmas Day should always be Christians Awake Salute the Happy Morn. It should be sung lustily and with the last line repeated.
2. While Shepherds Watched Their Flocks By Night may be sung to almost any tune. It must not, however, be sung to the tune Winchester Old
  - Acceptable tunes shall include:
    
    Liverpool
    
    Glasgow
    
    Lyngham
    
    Old Foster
    
    Sweet Chiming Christmas Bells
    
    Cranbrook – This may only be used once in every decade in any one place. There’s a limit to how entertaining it is.
3. The best carol of all is It Came Upon the Midnight Clear and it must be sung to the tune Noel by Arthur Sullivan. There are many things in which the US based Episcopal Church is correct but it is incorrect in its choice of tune for this carol. It may also be sung at Michaelmas. The incorrect words “It Came upon a midnight clear” are anathema. They have as much place in the Christian faith as Sundays before Advent or Sundays before Lent – ie none whatsoever.
4. Jingle Bells is not a carol.
5. The carol Of the Father’s Love Begotten may be sung at any time from Advent Sunday until the Feast of Candlemas. It must only be sung to the words agreed by Mr Frikki Walker and myself. The verse about seer and sybyl must always be included as it is both profound and reminds us all of Sybil Fawlty. I have every intention of broadcasting this carol unto the nation at the earliest opportunity so that everyone else may copy the St Mary’s version of the words.
6. 10 points may be claimed for anyone spotting a heresy in any carol. A bonus of 50 points is awarded to anyone who can come up with a heresy-free version that people will enjoy singing.
  - Your starter for 10 is “Veiled in flesh the Godhead see” which sounds like Docetism to me.
7. Anyone claiming that carols should be sung “in the original version” shall be required to sing Hark How All The Welkin Rings at the next carol service they are at and will then be required to explain to everyone at the door what a welkin is.
8. In the Bleak Midwinter may be sung, even though Jesus probably was not born amidst snow. However, it may only be sung by a good choir singing the Harold Darke version.
9. O Come All Ye Faithful is a Jacobite rallying call and is most proper for Scottish Episcopalians to sing.
10. Christmas cake should be eaten with cheese and not marzipan and icing.
Thank you for your attention.
Christmas carols

7 responses to “10 Discussion Points about the Church and Virtual Reality”

Tim

30/03/2012

Hear here. (Especially the evolutionary point.)

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chris

30/03/2012

…or even “hear hear”! Very pertinent in my neck of the woods, where the cyber-poor and the cyber-dinosaurs have their abode (and the second category is not necessarily related to the first other than in outcome).

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Pam Smith

30/03/2012

Excellent points.

I’ve been working in online Christian communities quite a while, and I’ve observed a couple of things that I think replicate mistakes in offline evangelism:

1) ‘Success’ is equated with numbers of followers not the quality of the interactions. So a lot of energy can be put into building up a following regardless of who the followers are. This often means attracting Christians who aren’t normally very interested in being online to your online project, rather than trying to make your online Christian project appealing to people who spend a lot of time online.

2) Events that are geared towards using the online media for evangelism and outreach almost always end up being evangelistic about online media not about Christianity

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Steve Murray

30/03/2012

I canâ€™t access the blog to post comments â€“ does this mean cyberpoverty may also stem from corporate repression? [These comments posted by Kelvin by request via email]

My â€˜cyberpovertyâ€™ is a deliberate choice â€“ I sit in front of a computer all day so have deliberately chosen not to be online at home. Is this really a societal evil … ?

The web is already beset by megaphones and proverbial empty vessels can make the most noise â€“ how do we distinguish between volume and quality â€“ I can follow thousands of religious twitterings but who filters out the distortion? â€“ c.f. The Guardian which is in the process of shedding journalists and filling its pages with â€˜comment is freeâ€™ â€“ aye, and you get what you pay for . . .

You do already provide ministries for the cyberpoor â€“ theyâ€™re called churches â€“ they have gravitas, space for quiet reflection, sanctuary from information overload, and a community â€“ long may they continue.

Will there be a paywall to fund the virtual church â€“ or will it be forced to rely on commercial sponsorship? A reading from the book of Numbers, brought to you in association with Lehman Brothers.

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Kimberly

30/03/2012

[…] Kelvin is asking good questions again about the theology and praxis of The Church and Virtual Reality.Â He sets out questions enough for several doctoral thesis, but it was this that caught my eye.Â […]

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Eric Stoddart

30/03/2012

Two important aspects that I suggest need to be added to your list, Kelvin.
(a) the monetarisation of cyberspace, especially of social networking (making money out of ‘friendship’ is a big business), and
(b) the effects of social networking as a means of surveillance (that’s lateral, between friends, as well as by mega-corporations); how is our behaviour being modified by the collection of, and categorisation by, our personal data?

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kelvin

30/03/2012

Thanks, Eric, yes.

And important to recognise that the church is in the business of calling on people in relationship with it to cough up money too. It isn’t just big business.

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