What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • Liturgical news

    Here is the liturgical news from St Mary’s Cathedral, Glasgow yesterday.

    • The Provost announced during morning service that the church is responsible for far too much condemnation in the world and far too few blessings. He and the Vice Provost then went on to offer the ancient Blessing of the Throats traditionally performed by holding candles to the throats of the faithful on St Blaise’s Day. About 45 members of the congregation had their throats blessed.
    • There have been no outbreaks of any diseases of the throat since yesterday.
    • The Provost turned into a flailing jellyfish at two points during yesterday’s mass. The first was the result of him seeing the gospel procession going past him and on down the aisle before he had woken up to the fact that he was the deacon and due to read the gospel. The second was when he tried to retrieve and consume a fallen host during communion. This resulted in a manoeuvre that is known as being Slain in the Spirit amongst low church people and known as falling Amice over Tippet by high church people.
    • The Provost was dismayed at the end of the mass to have it pointed out to him that the mass may not have been valid as he was wearing his stole in the manner of a priest rather than in the manner of a deacon.
    • The Provost then used the fact that his stole was the wrong way round to justify the fact that he had forgotten to follow the gospel procession earlier in the service.
    • Black shoes were worn throughout.

2 responses to “Cedric’s Sermon – 22 January”

  1. Rosemary Hannah Avatar
    Rosemary Hannah

    Laughed a lot – thought it was bang on.

    I will say it again, though – in my experience no church ever grows unless it is offering a really good quality of worship and has an involved and welcoming congregation.

    Similarly, any church which cannot offer these is a disaster waiting to happen.

    But every shrinking church is not a church without these things, though too many are.

    Learning to look out, to ask ‘How can we serve others by offering what they truly need?’ is a good place to start. Asking: ‘What if God wanting here?’ is indispensable.

    Reply
  2. Rosie Bates Avatar
    Rosie Bates

    Thank you so much Canon Cedric. Must admit to a touch of the spiritual glums last Sunday re the history of my personal stance in the Diocese of Oxford. Now you have me laughing all the way to the ‘bank of grace’ and the hope that lies within us.

    Reply

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