• The 10 Commandments of Using Images on Church Websites

    old camera photograph1 – Thou shalt remember that a burning candle is not the only image of all that is holy and all that is true.

    2 – Thou shalt not put the vulnerable at risk by revealing their identity and location.

    3 – Thou shalt remember when using pictures of people that the Lord thy God made them in great and glorious diversity.

    4 – Thou shalt not waste bandwidth and so shall learn how to reduce the size of thy photographs tenfold, fiftyfold or even a hundredfold.

    5 – Thou shalt not use photographs of church meetings to illustrate the life of the church for to believe that the meetings of the church represent the life and joy that the Lord thy God brings unto thee is to have heard and believed the lies of the Evil One.

    6 – Thou shalt not use photographs of groups of people where half the people have their backs unto the camera.

    7 – Thou shalt not include more than one photograph of the bishop (or the moderator, the pope or the Lord High Executioner of Titipu) standing around in robes next to other people standing around in robes.

    8 – Thou shalt love thy neighbour’s photographs as thine own, by setting up a Flickr group for them to post their images to so that you have a greater range of photographs to use on thy church website.

    9 – Thou shalt respect the copyright of every image that thou shalt use and give credit where it is due.

    10 – Thou shalt change thine images once in a while for to worship one image alone is not merely idolatry but risks the masses believing that the house of the Lord thy God is dull. And dullness is the sin against the Holy Ghost whereof many have spoken.

    Photo Credit: Afonso Lima of Brazil

    If you’ve any further commandments – do chip in with them in the comments.  “Why just 10?” as Moses said as he staggered down the mountain…

8 responses to “How to Cook Moose”

  1. Jaye Richards-Hill Avatar

    And this is all in Maryhill? There will be great wailing and gnashing of teeth in Newton Mearns and Giffnock when the news gets out..

  2. Zebadee Avatar
    Zebadee

    At our local Lidl we also have quail as well as the other items you mention

    1. kelvin Avatar

      Quail here too. Quail eggs from Waitrose though, not yet Lidl.

  3. Kimberly Avatar

    West Enders eat moose. South Siders eat Wholefoods. I know where I’d rather be.

    1. kelvin Avatar

      I’m not at all sure that any shop selling a few nuts and bits and bobs of fresh veg on either side of the river can be as impressive as Moose in Maryhill.

  4. Zebadee Avatar
    Zebadee

    Does the Maryhill Lidl also offer Canadian Lobster? Not that I am bragging but the needy of the Rubarb Triangle need some joy in their lives and our Lidl is meeting this need

  5. Kelvin Avatar

    Yes, lobster is on offer in Maryhill.

    I choose not to crow about lobster for it comes from the sea and consequently should not be eaten.

    1. Margaret of the Sea of Galilee Avatar
      Margaret of the Sea of Galilee

      The kashrut/OT problem is the lack of fins and scales, not the sea per se.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Previous Posts

  • A Pebble

    A pebble came home with me yesterday. I spent part of the morning watching waves throwing up stones onto concrete sea defences. The power of the waves turning water to foam and the roar of the shingle in the undertow were mesmerising.A single pebble now sits o­n my desk. Khaki in colour, it is divided in two…

  • Sermon – 9 January 2005

    I was walking through Tescos in Alloa this week when I encountered two women who had just met for the first time since new year. One hollered to the other: ?A good Christmas then?? and the reply came, ?Aye!? They got a bit closer. ?A Good New Year then?? The reply was the same, ?Aye!?…

  • Jerry Springer the Opera

    Well, I'm looking forward to the BBC screening Jerry Springer the Opera o­n Saturday evening at 1000.Having missed it at the National and then missed it again when I was last in London, I feared that I had missed it altogether. So, delighted to get the chance now.

  • Organ Safari

    Off to listen to organs today, one in Cramond, the other in Greenock. Not a terribly convenient journey, however it will be useful to be able to compare two instruments from two different companies on the same day. There are worse ways to spend a day.