What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • Society Against Sundays in the Month

    Why is there no church society for those of us who believe that Sundays-in-the-Month are one of the works of darkness that beset the church and tempt it into doom and decline?

    You know the kind of thing I mean – Matins on the first Sunday in the month and Eucharist on the rest. Or modern liturgy every Sunday except when there is a fifth Sunday in the month when it shall be the language of the Scottish Prayer Book 1928 1929. Or 10.30 am Sung Eucharist every week except the 2nd Sunday in the month when it is matins with the Methodists. Or First and Fourth Sundays in Auchendoggle, third Sunday in Auchendrizzle and a united service on the fourth Sunday in the month – see the church porch notice for details.

    I’d be interested in any research in this area. Is it the case that there is a statistical correlation between decline and those practising the doctrine of Sundays in the Month?

    Isn’t every notice which includes an intimation about the Sunday in the Month speaking to the world of a congregation either divided by compromise or prepared to announce its decline to the world?

    Why do we never talk about this?

5 responses to “Back to School”

  1. william Avatar
    william

    I note your reference to “in straight lines ” when you were at Bearsden PS.
    Were you not taught about tautologies in these former days, when education would have been more content based than you would have found on your recent visit?

    Reply
  2. Kelvin Holdsworth Avatar
    Kelvin Holdsworth

    Er, yes I was and no, it isn’t.

    Reply
  3. PamB Avatar
    PamB

    Ah yes, the staffroom etiquette. I’ve done the cup thing, the chair thing, and, possibly worst faux-pas of all, the crossword thing in my time. Nowadays there are no staff rooms, just bases, a whole new minefield of unwelcoming stares.

    Reply
  4. Jaye Richards-Hill Avatar
    Jaye Richards-Hill

    Sorry to hear about the torrid time in P7 you had with the belting teacher…as a teacher myself, I’m not in favour of such tactics. I find a cold silent stare always used to work better than any cane or belt…such activities should be reserved for consenting adults only ;-/

    Reply
    1. kelvin Avatar
      kelvin

      Thanks Jaye.

      The same teacher spent a quarter of each day on religious instruction and was, as I said, quite mad.

      One one occasion I was belted for humming. On another, simply, I suspect for being me.

      There are probably those reading this who have some sympathy with her.

      Reply

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