What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • Missional – Your Time Has Come

    Hear Ye! Hear Ye!

    I hereby announce an international competition to rid the ears of the godly of a peculiar modern ugliness. Everywhere I go (and I’ve recently been engaged on a quest to go just about everywhere) I’m hearing the word MISSIONAL used in church circles. It seems to me that this is a modern phenomenon and one from which we need to be freed.

    How long, oh Lord, how long? How long will you let your church think it can succeed in bringing your love to the world whilst it mangles English grammar?

    Is it not enough that we have kidnapped the word INTENTIONAL and used it for our own devices and desires. It was clearly a sin for whoever first added those two little letters to have created such a hybrid monster. Greater though was the sin of those who GIFTED it from one Christian community to another.

    No, no, and a thousand times no. Missional will not do.

    Yet the trouble is, what should we use instead? Is there a simple word or very short phrase that is more acceptable to holy earlugs than missional?

    I declare a competition to find something else. Bring out your simplicity. Wash your spotless grammatical linen in public. Wear your loveliest past participles on your sleeve. Offer up your adjectives. Pour a gentle libation of adverbs before the altar of the Lord.

    Please, please. Offer an alternative.

    Suggestions welcome in the comments below.

    A crown of laurel to the winner.

    , ,

21 responses to “Are there any gay friendly Episcopal churches in Edinburgh?”

  1. Ryan Avatar
    Ryan

    Didn’t a wise man once say that all clergy are camp ;-)?

    Although the wedding show photo does feature hot *female* models! It’s the sort of thing one might find in nuts or zoo (er, one would imagine) 😉

    Reply
    1. kelvin Avatar
      kelvin

      OK.OK, I’m no more camp than any other member of the clergy who finds themselves dressed head to toe in gold on a catwalk with glamorous models.

      That’s not very camp, is it?

      Reply
  2. fr dougal Avatar
    fr dougal

    Jargon explanation: “spikey” V. High Church. Incense, liturgical precision and stuff like Mass & Benediction etc.
    “boat boy” – small human being often male who carries the vessel with the incense grains in it.
    “camp” – default position of many Scots clergy, especially the spikey one’s:-)

    Reply
  3. fr dougal Avatar
    fr dougal

    Re the class thing: Spikey Mikes has welcomed me in spite of my going to Beath High! Mind you, we do count a Nobel prize winner, a former Scottish Rugby international and the odd MP promoted to the Lord’s amongst our FP’s so…

    Reply
  4. Robin Avatar
    Robin

    At St Columba’s this morning there was the usual welcome printed in bold on the front of the service sheet:

    “We believe God affirms all regardless of age, gender, sexual orientation, background or ethnicity and we welcome any who wish to worship and share Communion with us. We welcome and support LGBT people, affirm their lives and ministries, and celebrate their relationships.”

    Reply
  5. Ryan Avatar
    Ryan

    Ooh, we don’t get that at St.Silas! 😉

    Reply

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